Do you really wish your ex well?

[Anonymous]

7:10 - I don't know, it sounds like this person's ex may have been engaged in risky behavior, putting her at risk along with himself. That's pretty cold too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe I told my ex I hoped he got whatever he earned. Good, not good.. whatever.

20 years later he has what he earned. HIV.

I can honestly say I didn't harbor hatred. He was of no interest to me at all.

That's pretty cold. HIV is no joke. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I wouldn't think it was something that anyone "earned."

You sound naive with little experience of the world.

[Anonymous]

I guess I wish there was some justice in the world. A person shouldn't be able to lie, cheat, steal and abandon his children, and not suffer any negative consequences, while leaving the ex spouse to raise two kids alone.

At least I do get CS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe I told my ex I hoped he got whatever he earned. Good, not good.. whatever.

20 years later he has what he earned. HIV.

I can honestly say I didn't harbor hatred. He was of no interest to me at all.

Shit...where'd he get HIV? Drugs? Hookers?

Probably both. I consider myself lucky I got out with only Chlamydia.

To the OP saying I'm cold? LOL.. you better believe it. TEN years of annual HIV tests, hoping for a negative result because I had no clue where the asshole had "been" once I had Chlamydia. Drugs? Hookers? Orgies with no protection? Where he got anything is anybody's guess.

He earned HIV through his choice of lifestyle. Even in the 80s and early 90s when knowledge was absolutely everywhere. He gets no sympathy from me at all. I just wonder how many others he infected, and hope none of them were as foolish as I was and thought he was even a half assed decent human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe I told my ex I hoped he got whatever he earned. Good, not good.. whatever.

20 years later he has what he earned. HIV.

I can honestly say I didn't harbor hatred. He was of no interest to me at all.

Shit...where'd he get HIV? Drugs? Hookers?

Probably both. I consider myself lucky I got out with only Chlamydia.

To the OP saying I'm cold? LOL.. you better believe it. TEN years of annual HIV tests, hoping for a negative result because I had no clue where the asshole had "been" once I had Chlamydia. Drugs? Hookers? Orgies with no protection? Where he got anything is anybody's guess.

He earned HIV through his choice of lifestyle. Even in the 80s and early 90s when knowledge was absolutely everywhere. He gets no sympathy from me at all. I just wonder how many others he infected, and hope none of them were as foolish as I was and thought he was even a half assed decent human being.

Hit submit to soon. I also opened to the door one day to some bike gang's Enforcer. Yeah.. dumb shit had been flirting with someone's "woman" while buying drugs. So there I am with my 8 month old baby, wondering who the hell this creepy guy is asking to see my husband. They watched our house to see when he was home. They followed our car.

Dumb shit is lucky to be alive even if it is with HIV.

[Anonymous]

No - I hope he eats S**T and everyday sucks for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe I told my ex I hoped he got whatever he earned. Good, not good.. whatever.

20 years later he has what he earned. HIV.

I can honestly say I didn't harbor hatred. He was of no interest to me at all.

That's pretty cold. HIV is no joke. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I wouldn't think it was something that anyone "earned."

You sound naive with little experience of the world.

You sound hardened and embittered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe I told my ex I hoped he got whatever he earned. Good, not good.. whatever.

20 years later he has what he earned. HIV.

I can honestly say I didn't harbor hatred. He was of no interest to me at all.

That's pretty cold. HIV is no joke. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I wouldn't think it was something that anyone "earned."

You sound naive with little experience of the world.

You sound hardened and embittered.

I'm the person you're discussing. He does not matter. You have no idea the hell he put me through. Judge all you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe I told my ex I hoped he got whatever he earned. Good, not good.. whatever.

20 years later he has what he earned. HIV.

I can honestly say I didn't harbor hatred. He was of no interest to me at all.

That's pretty cold. HIV is no joke. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I wouldn't think it was something that anyone "earned."

You sound naive with little experience of the world.

You sound hardened and embittered.

I'm the person you're discussing. He does not matter. You have no idea the hell he put me through. Judge all you want.

No need to judge. know you are a miserable person if you think HIV is some sort of karma. Get therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I believe I told my ex I hoped he got whatever he earned. Good, not good.. whatever.

20 years later he has what he earned. HIV.

I can honestly say I didn't harbor hatred. He was of no interest to me at all.

That's pretty cold. HIV is no joke. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I wouldn't think it was something that anyone "earned."

You sound naive with little experience of the world.

You sound hardened and embittered.

I'm the person you're discussing. He does not matter. You have no idea the hell he put me through. Judge all you want.

No need to judge. know you are a miserable person if you think HIV is some sort of karma. Get therapy.

I had to after I left him. I'm fine now.

When I wished him whatever he earned this never crossed my mind. Especially after this long. But when I heard this last year? No surprise. He made his choices and now he lives with the outcome. It isn't Karma. it's just life. I'm glad I left when I did.

[Anonymous]

My ex is my child's father and she lives with him 1/2 of the time. If he were to hit hard times she would suffer too. So I remind myself that I should wish him well.

That being said:
(A) I'm glad his wife got fat. He is a shallow asshole who started nagging me about my baby weight before I was even cleared to do stairs after my c section. Turns out the pounds melted right off when I left him. I know he must be pissed she's heavy. She's not nice enough for me to pity, though she's the best parent in that household.

And

(B) I wouldn't complain if he got hit by a bus. He's always criticizing our child. I wouldn't want her to have to deal with him being miserable but she'd actually be perfectly happy without him. It's unfortunate and I do bend over backward to encourage her to think well of him, but that's just how it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't. I wish nothing but unhappiness and horrible things to happen to him. Does this mean I don't really love him because I don't want him to be happy even if it means he's not with me? Does this mean I'm awful and immature?

I just want him to be as unhappy as he's made me. I want what he did to me to happen to him.

PLEASE just give me some honest answers

You are mad and most likely not very happy with yourself if this is your reaction. I totally get why you are reacting like that and I think it can be a fairly common reaction. You are hurt and want him to feel the pain that you are feeling.

However, you don't have to be the victim. You are NOT the victim. You are a strong individual who can probably do many things and will have a lot of time to focus on yourself now to make yourself an even better person for whoever comes into your life next. Take the high road and if he was truly that awful, karma will find it's way to him. Stay strong and build yourself up and try to understand why you are so mad. Learning to become self aware is a powerful tool.

Our ego is stronger than we realize, and I think if you were to sit back and look at this, you will see it's your ego and pride that is hurt. I don't say that to be an a-hole, but only because I have been where you are. We cannot control anyone but ourselves and our reactions to people and situations.

I wish you strength. Be well.

[Anonymous]

I generally wish him well, but I do kind of hope that Karma will come to bite him in the ass at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't. I wish nothing but unhappiness and horrible things to happen to him. Does this mean I don't really love him because I don't want him to be happy even if it means he's not with me? Does this mean I'm awful and immature?

I just want him to be as unhappy as he's made me. I want what he did to me to happen to him.

PLEASE just give me some honest answers

You are mad and most likely not very happy with yourself if this is your reaction. I totally get why you are reacting like that and I think it can be a fairly common reaction. You are hurt and want him to feel the pain that you are feeling.

However, you don't have to be the victim. You are NOT the victim. You are a strong individual who can probably do many things and will have a lot of time to focus on yourself now to make yourself an even better person for whoever comes into your life next. Take the high road and if he was truly that awful, karma will find it's way to him. Stay strong and build yourself up and try to understand why you are so mad. Learning to become self aware is a powerful tool.

Our ego is stronger than we realize, and I think if you were to sit back and look at this, you will see it's your ego and pride that is hurt. I don't say that to be an a-hole, but only because I have been where you are. We cannot control anyone but ourselves and our reactions to people and situations.

I wish you strength. Be well.

Who exactly do you think you are with this ridiculous judgement? You sound like you've been listening to too many self-help tapes or something. What makes you think you know anything about OP from her post?

OP, I don't know your story, but I don't know anyone who wishes their ex-husbands well immediately after a divorce - esp. if bad/hurtful/painful behavior caused the divorce. I can't speak for ex-boyfriends - those relationships are typically more shallow in every way, so they are different.

But time heals most hurtful feelings, and hopefully you won't care a bit about him in a few years!

Take care of yourself, go to therapy, go to the gym, take up a new hobby, surround yourself with friends, focus on your career. Keep busy, eat well, do lot of new stuff. You will do GREAT. And your ex might not deserve any nice feelings from you, but hopefully you won't even care about him soon.

ps: Don't force yourself to feel anything - if you feel bad thoughts, that's okay. It's normal and natural, and hopefully they will fade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't. I wish nothing but unhappiness and horrible things to happen to him. Does this mean I don't really love him because I don't want him to be happy even if it means he's not with me? Does this mean I'm awful and immature?

I just want him to be as unhappy as he's made me. I want what he did to me to happen to him.

PLEASE just give me some honest answers

You are mad and most likely not very happy with yourself if this is your reaction. I totally get why you are reacting like that and I think it can be a fairly common reaction. You are hurt and want him to feel the pain that you are feeling.

However, you don't have to be the victim. You are NOT the victim. You are a strong individual who can probably do many things and will have a lot of time to focus on yourself now to make yourself an even better person for whoever comes into your life next. Take the high road and if he was truly that awful, karma will find it's way to him. Stay strong and build yourself up and try to understand why you are so mad. Learning to become self aware is a powerful tool.

Our ego is stronger than we realize, and I think if you were to sit back and look at this, you will see it's your ego and pride that is hurt. I don't say that to be an a-hole, but only because I have been where you are. We cannot control anyone but ourselves and our reactions to people and situations.

I wish you strength. Be well.

Who exactly do you think you are with this ridiculous judgement? You sound like you've been listening to too many self-help tapes or something. What makes you think you know anything about OP from her post?

OP, I don't know your story, but I don't know anyone who wishes their ex-husbands well immediately after a divorce - esp. if bad/hurtful/painful behavior caused the divorce. I can't speak for ex-boyfriends - those relationships are typically more shallow in every way, so they are different.

But time heals most hurtful feelings, and hopefully you won't care a bit about him in a few years!

Take care of yourself, go to therapy, go to the gym, take up a new hobby, surround yourself with friends, focus on your career. Keep busy, eat well, do lot of new stuff. You will do GREAT. And your ex might not deserve any nice feelings from you, but hopefully you won't even care about him soon.

ps: Don't force yourself to feel anything - if you feel bad thoughts, that's okay. It's normal and natural, and hopefully they will fade.

No judgement meant by that, just an observation. OP, I meant no harm by that statement and I apologize if it came across as hurtful. As I said, I e been in your shoes and was merely speaking from my point of view. That is my advice, my opinion and I am sorry if anyone is offended by it.