Do you really wish your ex well?

[Anonymous]

It means that you still have feelings for him. I didn't wish anything negative to my ex. I wanted him to be happy, and I knew I couldn't make him happy. I didn't love him. The opposite of love isn't hate it's indifference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It means that you still have feelings for him. I didn't wish anything negative to my ex. I wanted him to be happy, and I knew I couldn't make him happy. I didn't love him. The opposite of love isn't hate it's indifference.

People who say this shit piss me off. It's absolute and utter nonsense. I'm the PP whose ex beat her, cut her face up, and nearly killed her. I have NO feelings for my ex, but yes, I hate him and wish him the worst. I will never be indifferent towards the guy who disfigured me and nearly took my life. So don't even think about insinuating that I have feelings for him or that I'm not over him, as I have every right to harbor hate for him.

[Anonymous]

If you have a run of the mill breakup (i.e. No abuse or anything extreme) I think harboring hatred for an ex afterwards is immature.

[Anonymous]

I don't really wish my ex anything. As in, I really don't care or think about him one way or another and view him as a stranger, because that's what he is at this point.

[Anonymous]

I wish him away...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It means that you still have feelings for him. I didn't wish anything negative to my ex. I wanted him to be happy, and I knew I couldn't make him happy. I didn't love him. The opposite of love isn't hate it's indifference.

Thanks, Doormat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have a run of the mill breakup (i.e. No abuse or anything extreme) I think harboring hatred for an ex afterwards is immature.

What is a" run of the mill" breakup? I don't know anyone who divorces unless there are serious issues. Otherwise, people tend to stay together for their kids.

I'm always amazed that people on DCUM break up for run-of-the-mill issues, and everything is just peachy keen as children's lives are changed forever, assets are split - usually very unevenly, everything that was normal once is gone. Divorce is NOT easy for emotionally mature and responsible people, and they tend to have very strong feelings about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a run of the mill breakup (i.e. No abuse or anything extreme) I think harboring hatred for an ex afterwards is immature.

What is a" run of the mill" breakup? I don't know anyone who divorces unless there are serious issues. Otherwise, people tend to stay together for their kids.

I'm always amazed that people on DCUM break up for run-of-the-mill issues, and everything is just peachy keen as children's lives are changed forever, assets are split - usually very unevenly, everything that was normal once is gone. Divorce is NOT easy for emotionally mature and responsible people, and they tend to have very strong feelings about it.

Ma'am, you need to stop taking reaponses to OP's post so personally. An ex can be an ex-boyfriend as well as an ex-husband. Not everyone who gets divorced has kids. If you have some things to get off your chest regarding your divorce you can start a post about it, or if you are the OP, identify yourself as such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a run of the mill breakup (i.e. No abuse or anything extreme) I think harboring hatred for an ex afterwards is immature.

What is a" run of the mill" breakup? I don't know anyone who divorces unless there are serious issues. Otherwise, people tend to stay together for their kids.

I'm always amazed that people on DCUM break up for run-of-the-mill issues, and everything is just peachy keen as children's lives are changed forever, assets are split - usually very unevenly, everything that was normal once is gone. Divorce is NOT easy for emotionally mature and responsible people, and they tend to have very strong feelings about it.

Ma'am, you need to stop taking reaponses to OP's post so personally. An ex can be an ex-boyfriend as well as an ex-husband. Not everyone who gets divorced has kids. If you have some things to get off your chest regarding your divorce you can start a post about it, or if you are the OP, identify yourself as such.

Bizarre.

[Anonymous]

I believe I told my ex I hoped he got whatever he earned. Good, not good.. whatever.

20 years later he has what he earned. HIV.

I can honestly say I didn't harbor hatred. He was of no interest to me at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have a run of the mill breakup (i.e. No abuse or anything extreme) I think harboring hatred for an ex afterwards is immature.

What is a" run of the mill" breakup? I don't know anyone who divorces unless there are serious issues. Otherwise, people tend to stay together for their kids.

I'm always amazed that people on DCUM break up for run-of-the-mill issues, and everything is just peachy keen as children's lives are changed forever, assets are split - usually very unevenly, everything that was normal once is gone. Divorce is NOT easy for emotionally mature and responsible people, and they tend to have very strong feelings about it.

So do you think it's healthy to have strong feelings about your divorce and your ex forever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe I told my ex I hoped he got whatever he earned. Good, not good.. whatever.

20 years later he has what he earned. HIV.

I can honestly say I didn't harbor hatred. He was of no interest to me at all.

Shit...where'd he get HIV? Drugs? Hookers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means that you still have feelings for him. I didn't wish anything negative to my ex. I wanted him to be happy, and I knew I couldn't make him happy. I didn't love him. The opposite of love isn't hate it's indifference.

Thanks, Doormat.

I have the same attitude towards my former exes. I'd really like them to be happy. There's someone for everyone. It seems silly to harbor malice for someone you like, but don't make a good match in the romance department.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe I told my ex I hoped he got whatever he earned. Good, not good.. whatever.

20 years later he has what he earned. HIV.

I can honestly say I didn't harbor hatred. He was of no interest to me at all.

That's pretty cold. HIV is no joke. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I wouldn't think it was something that anyone "earned."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't. I wish nothing but unhappiness and horrible things to happen to him. Does this mean I don't really love him because I don't want him to be happy even if it means he's not with me? Does this mean I'm awful and immature?

I just want him to be as unhappy as he's made me. I want what he did to me to happen to him.

PLEASE just give me some honest answers

Then, try to find a way to be happy. Do you that his happiness depends on yours? Or is this asymmetric?