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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't. I wish nothing but unhappiness and horrible things to happen to him. Does this mean I don't really love him because I don't want him to be happy even if it means he's not with me? Does this mean I'm awful and immature?

I just want him to be as unhappy as he's made me. I want what he did to me to happen to him.

PLEASE just give me some honest answers[/quote]

[b]You are mad and most likely not very happy with yourself[/b] if this is your reaction.  I totally get why you are reacting like that and I think it can be a fairly common reaction.  You are hurt and want him to feel the pain that you are feeling.

However, you don't have to be the victim.  You are NOT the victim.  You are a strong individual who can probably do many things and will have a lot of time to focus on yourself now to make yourself an even better person for whoever comes into your life next.  Take the high road and if he was truly that awful, karma will find it's way to him.  Stay strong and build yourself up and try to understand why you are so mad.  Learning to become self aware is a powerful tool.

Our ego is stronger than we realize, and I think if you were to sit back and look at this, you will see it's your ego and pride that is hurt.  I don't say that to be an a-hole, but only because I have been where you are.  We cannot control anyone but ourselves and our reactions to people and situations.

I wish you strength.  Be well.[/quote]

Who exactly do you think you are with this ridiculous judgement? You sound like you've been listening to too many self-help tapes or something. What makes you think you know anything about OP from her post?

OP, I don't know your story, but I don't know anyone who wishes their ex-husbands well immediately after a divorce - esp. if bad/hurtful/painful behavior caused the divorce. I can't speak for ex-boyfriends - those relationships are typically more shallow in every way, so they are different.

But time heals most hurtful feelings, and hopefully you won't care a bit about him in a few years!

Take care of yourself, go to therapy, go to the gym, take up a new hobby, surround yourself with friends, focus on your career. Keep busy, eat well, do lot of new stuff. You will do GREAT. And your ex might not deserve any nice feelings from you, but hopefully you won't even care about him soon.

ps: Don't force yourself to feel anything - if you feel bad thoughts, that's okay. It's normal and natural, and hopefully they will fade.

[/quote]

No judgement meant by that, just an observation.  OP, I meant no harm by that statement and I apologize if it came across as hurtful.  As I said, I e been in your shoes and was merely speaking from my point of view.  That is my advice, my opinion and I am sorry if anyone is offended by it.[/quote]

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