Caught my child drinking at a Parent sanctioned party… WYD

[Anonymous]

To the OP: So you walk into the house, see the partying going on.....Do you just grab your kid and go? Did you say something to the parents? Did you call other kid's parents?

[Anonymous]

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/09/how-helicopter-parents-cause-binge-drinking/492722/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could have called the police, OP. What they did was illegal and dangerous, even if the parents thought they had a handle on things. What idiots.

I have never liked that sort of party, even as an adolescent, so you can imagine how I feel about them now!

As a French person, wine is part of mealtimes, and my children have tasted alcohol at home. I don't plan on hosting any teen parties, or serving alcohol at any other time than at dinner time, to the guests I have invited.

Oh, please don't start the "Europeans are more sophisticated with alcohol" trope. That's bullshit.

+1 There is more vomit on the streets of Paris than in any other city I have ever been in.

You guys are really xenophobic! Every time a foreigner comes on here and describes what usually happens in their home country (vomit in the street doesn't come from high schoolers in Paris! I know, I'm Parisian), you immediately feel defensive and dump on that poster.
Calm down for heaven's sake. Is it Trump that has you all riled up and ready to attack? Hopefully you will calm down after the election.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A private home during non-school hours. Why in hell does the school need to be involved? Unless it was during school hours, on school property or during a school function, the school has NOTHING to do with this incident.

Because as a parent at the school, you agree to certain rules of the community to ensure that children are kept safe. It's in our parent agreement, to which we have to sign and agree in order to enroll our children. If you as a parent with a child at the school knowingly serve alcohol to minors, you have violated the rules that we agree to as a community. If you don't agree, you don't have to send your kid to the private school. No one is forcing you to send your kid there. You voluntarily agree to the school and its values.

Who said anything about private school? While I don't condone the behavior, what happens outside of school is certainly none of the school's damn business. I won't fuck with what teachers do in school as long as they respect they have zero say out of school. My child is not a ward of the state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I am fine with my child attending these types of parties. I fo expect the parents to be at home and to intervene when kids start throwing up. That's when the kids need to learn that they are drinking too much, learn where their limits are. A little slurring is not a problem, the kids are learning.

I would call the police about a party with no parents or one that has kids who will be driving themselves immediately after alchohol consumption.

Otherwise, I would stick to your policy for your child and stay out of it.

Holy crap.

My thoughts exactly...

Mine, too. Slurring is always, always a problem. Boy I hope my child doesn't hang out with yours.

I'm actually with the first poster here - it will happen better to have some control. The kids of the uptight parents often go off the rails the most!

The Atlantic just had an article with research showing the opposite.

Yes, the research is unequivocal--kids with parents who strongly discourage drinking and drug use have kids who are less likely to drink and use drugs. Anecdotally, this is certainly what I've observed in our community. And parents who like to party themselves send a clear message to their kids that drinking to excess is how to have a good time. I think that's part of what drives the "kids are going to do it anyway" narrative. Well, yes, if your kid regularly sees you tying one on at the neighborhood barbecue, they are probably going to do so as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am fine with my child attending these types of parties. I fo expect the parents to be at home and to intervene when kids start throwing up. That's when the kids need to learn that they are drinking too much, learn where their limits are. A little slurring is not a problem, the kids are learning.

I would call the police about a party with no parents or one that has kids who will be driving themselves immediately after alchohol consumption.

Otherwise, I would stick to your policy for your child and stay out of it.

Holy crap.

My thoughts exactly...

Mine, too. Slurring is always, always a problem. Boy I hope my child doesn't hang out with yours.

I'm actually with the first poster here - it will happen better to have some control. The kids of the uptight parents often go off the rails the most!

Yep, I saw it when I was in college. Ended up having to take friends to the hospital and have them treated for alcohol poisoning. Actually pulled guys off two of my friends. I was the one who volunteered to be the designated driver a lot. I was also the one who had friends with great parents who taught us what would happen if we drank too much and provided a safe space (but with more supervision than OP observed.) Better to learn at home (or a trusted friend's house) than learn at a frat.

That was me during college - I didn't drink much in high school for lots of reasons though but when I discovered it - whoa. Nearly derailed my life - made me wish I had started slower in a more mellow environment. Not that there aren't still issues at the high school age.

Again, research does not support this hypothesis.

[Anonymous]

I would have called the cops in a hot minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A private home during non-school hours. Why in hell does the school need to be involved? Unless it was during school hours, on school property or during a school function, the school has NOTHING to do with this incident.

Hitting a little too close to home for you?

[Anonymous]

Patenting teens would be so much easier if other parents would PARENT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/09/how-helicopter-parents-cause-binge-drinking/492722/

Spot fucking on.

[Anonymous]

There is no earthly reason why "they're going to do it anyway" and "denying them now will cause binge drinking later" would lead parents to go to the opposite extreme and let children be barfing drunk at their home. Some of these kids can go into comas. Some of them will not be prevented from driving drunk .There is an unspeakable amount of risk here that ignorant adults should never take.

The best way to prevent binge drinking is to teach self-control and moderation in all things. And that's harder than what these parents are prepared to do for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Two of my kids have graduated from college and two are tweens. I let my kids drink alcohol. Not when they have friends over, and they never got their own glass until they were in college. But if they asked to taste whatever I or my boyfriend are drinking, we say yes.

My son got drunk once in college. My daughter has never gotten drunk. They self-regulate. You have to let other parents know because not all kids CAN self-regulate. I don't see why you would tell the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two of my kids have graduated from college and two are tweens. I let my kids drink alcohol. Not when they have friends over, and they never got their own glass until they were in college. But if they asked to taste whatever I or my boyfriend are drinking, we say yes.

My son got drunk once in college. My daughter has never gotten drunk. They self-regulate. You have to let other parents know because not all kids CAN self-regulate. I don't see why you would tell the school.

Sure they haven't.

[Anonymous]

I would let it go, talk to my child about it and tell him about limits aka self regulation. Hope for the best.

[Anonymous]

I would be LIVID if I found out the parents were at the party and condoned this.