High school senior daughter asked me "What's the point of all this?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is correct.

There is no point to an elite college.... Unless your intention is to have rich friends.

The point to life is to be a good person, have good friends, be kind to strangers, give back to your community and (hopefully) have a close family.

A surgeon from Penn is no happier than a plumber, if you can afford a house, food, have close friends.

Once you have a certain amount of money, happiness does not increase with more money and eventually declines.

What? Or to have the kind of career that only an elite college can open for you? I work in finance and I know there are banks and money managers who will *only* recruit from the ivy league. They do that because they can, because they get SO many applicants that they can easily afford to be choosy. I know finance is not most people's idea of a good time so substitute any competitive career (journalism, magazines, book publishing, politics, museum curating, certain high profile tech companies) for what I just said.

Which just shows how ignorant the old school finance world is. Google did a study, after only hiring from elite schools. They changed their model and found student from elite schools were not better employees than students from state schools.

You need to educate yourself on the current trends in new business and hiring. advising your kids on knowledge that is 30 years old will not serve them well.

Different PP here. But those firms (law, finance, et cetera) that only recruit from Ivy Leagues *are* the rat race. If OP's daughter is exhausted by the rat race as a teenager, what makes you think she'll be happy in that world?

If the point in running the rat race as a teen is to gain entry to an adult rat race where the pressure is even higher and more cutthroat, then it doesn't seem worth it. I suspect that is OP's daughter's point. Her question isn't necessarily, "What is the point?" Her question is actually, "When does it end? When does it get better?"

I'm the PP who said if I had a child who seemed to have the aptitude/ability and interest in a trade, I'd advocate getting training and certification in a trade but also getting a bachelor's from a relatively ("relative" being the key word) inexpensive college just for the sake of having the piece of paper. That stems from figuring out what kind of career training will provide BOTH job security/stability AND work-life balance. I believe that finding a career that hits that sweet spot is probably the best recipe for a happy life.

I agree. Going to an elite so you can get a job at a top bank or consulting firm sounds like an awful life. You need to love money so much that you spend your life chasing it.

[Anonymous]

The game for women is to pretend to be a gunner, get into an elite undergrad, meet an ambitious boy destined for $, work a few years as a consultant (maybe even masters or law school), become a stay at home mom by your late 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is correct.

There is no point to an elite college.... Unless your intention is to have rich friends.

The point to life is to be a good person, have good friends, be kind to strangers, give back to your community and (hopefully) have a close family.

A surgeon from Penn is no happier than a plumber, if you can afford a house, food, have close friends.

Once you have a certain amount of money, happiness does not increase with more money and eventually declines.

What? Or to have the kind of career that only an elite college can open for you? I work in finance and I know there are banks and money managers who will *only* recruit from the ivy league. They do that because they can, because they get SO many applicants that they can easily afford to be choosy. I know finance is not most people's idea of a good time so substitute any competitive career (journalism, magazines, book publishing, politics, museum curating, certain high profile tech companies) for what I just said.

I went to high school with several people who work in finance,many of whom attended elite colleges & have done extremely well. My former classmate with most successful career in finance, however, went to the University of Delaware ( & didn't go to grad school). By the time she was in her late 20s, she was a VP for a major financial group (think JP Morgan, Cantor Fitzgerald, Merrill Lynch, etc) -- & her career trajectory has only continued to rise from there.

A degree from an elite school can certainly open doors but this is far from the only way to get in.

[Anonymous]

The point is to keep every door open for you. I went to an average state school and 25 years later I still wish I hadn't let my grades drop off. It was immature thinking that led me to believe it didn't matter. It matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous} The point is to keep every door open for you. I went to an average state school and 25 years later I still wish I hadn't let my grades drop off. It was immature thinking that led me to believe it didn't matter. It matters.[/quote wrote:

You have a valid point but students at competitive public & private high schools (& their parents) are probably at least as likely to overestimate the importance of attending an elite college as they are to underestimate it. Either can be quite detrimental.

[Anonymous]

"The point is that I'm not going to be your lifetime beneficiary so if you want food to eat clothes to wear and a roof over your head when you hit 18 then it's in your best interest to put yourself in a position to attain those things."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is correct.

There is no point to an elite college.... Unless your intention is to have rich friends.

The point to life is to be a good person, have good friends, be kind to strangers, give back to your community and (hopefully) have a close family.

A surgeon from Penn is no happier than a plumber, if you can afford a house, food, have close friends.

Once you have a certain amount of money, happiness does not increase with more money and eventually declines.

I totally agree, but I think your views are not that common in the DCUM area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"The point is that I'm not going to be your lifetime beneficiary so if you want food to eat clothes to wear and a roof over your head when you hit 18 then it's in your best interest to put yourself in a position to attain those things."

LMFAO. You realize that 70% of adults in the US don't even have a bachelor's degree or higher, much less one from a top 10 school? That is probably less than 1% of the population in the US. You really think that 99% of people over the age of 18 don't have food to eat, clothes to wear, or a roof over their head?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is correct.

There is no point to an elite college.... Unless your intention is to have rich friends.

The point to life is to be a good person, have good friends, be kind to strangers, give back to your community and (hopefully) have a close family.

A surgeon from Penn is no happier than a plumber, if you can afford a house, food, have close friends.

Once you have a certain amount of money, happiness does not increase with more money and eventually declines.

What? Or to have the kind of career that only an elite college can open for you? I work in finance and I know there are banks and money managers who will *only* recruit from the ivy league. They do that because they can, because they get SO many applicants that they can easily afford to be choosy. I know finance is not most people's idea of a good time so substitute any competitive career (journalism, magazines, book publishing, politics, museum curating, certain high profile tech companies) for what I just said.

I went to high school with several people who work in finance,many of whom attended elite colleges & have done extremely well. My former classmate with most successful career in finance, however, went to the University of Delaware ( & didn't go to grad school). By the time she was in her late 20s, she was a VP for a major financial group (think JP Morgan, Cantor Fitzgerald, Merrill Lynch, etc) -- & her career trajectory has only continued to rise from there.

A degree from an elite school can certainly open doors but this is far from the only way to get in.

I know a broad that went to Rutgers on an athletic scholarship. Works in finance and makes $Ms per year. Why? She's attractive and a former athlete. That's called an outlier, not a template.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"The point is that I'm not going to be your lifetime beneficiary so if you want food to eat clothes to wear and a roof over your head when you hit 18 then it's in your best interest to put yourself in a position to attain those things."

LMFAO. You realize that 70% of adults in the US don't even have a bachelor's degree or higher, much less one from a top 10 school? That is probably less than 1% of the population in the US. You really think that 99% of people over the age of 18 don't have food to eat, clothes to wear, or a roof over their head?

I'm not concerned with the 70% of flyover trash, Walmart employees, etc. I personally don't know any adults without a bachelors. DMV is the wealthiest and most educated region in the USA. The bar here is higher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"The point is that I'm not going to be your lifetime beneficiary so if you want food to eat clothes to wear and a roof over your head when you hit 18 then it's in your best interest to put yourself in a position to attain those things."

LMFAO. You realize that 70% of adults in the US don't even have a bachelor's degree or higher, much less one from a top 10 school? That is probably less than 1% of the population in the US. You really think that 99% of people over the age of 18 don't have food to eat, clothes to wear, or a roof over their head?

I'm not concerned with the 70% of flyover trash, Walmart employees, etc. I personally don't know any adults without a bachelors. DMV is the wealthiest and most educated region in the USA. The bar here is higher.

http://www.governing.com/blogs/by-the-numbers/graduate-professional-degrees-for-metro-areas.html
The majority of over-25 adults in the Washington DC metro area do not have bachelor's degrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is correct.

There is no point to an elite college.... Unless your intention is to have rich friends.

The point to life is to be a good person, have good friends, be kind to strangers, give back to your community and (hopefully) have a close family.

A surgeon from Penn is no happier than a plumber, if you can afford a house, food, have close friends.

Once you have a certain amount of money, happiness does not increase with more money and eventually declines.

What? Or to have the kind of career that only an elite college can open for you? I work in finance and I know there are banks and money managers who will *only* recruit from the ivy league. They do that because they can, because they get SO many applicants that they can easily afford to be choosy. I know finance is not most people's idea of a good time so substitute any competitive career (journalism, magazines, book publishing, politics, museum curating, certain high profile tech companies) for what I just said.

I went to high school with several people who work in finance,many of whom attended elite colleges & have done extremely well. My former classmate with most successful career in finance, however, went to the University of Delaware ( & didn't go to grad school). By the time she was in her late 20s, she was a VP for a major financial group (think JP Morgan, Cantor Fitzgerald, Merrill Lynch, etc) -- & her career trajectory has only continued to rise from there.

A degree from an elite school can certainly open doors but this is far from the only way to get in.

I know a broad that went to Rutgers on an athletic scholarship. Works in finance and makes $Ms per year. Why? She's attractive and a former athlete. That's called an outlier, not a template.

I guess I know a lot of outliers then as I know many highly successful people who attended second tier (or lower) colleges. I also know multiple people who attended elite colleges who have spent most of their adult lives underemployed &/or struggling to make ends meet.

[Anonymous]

I can speak to this, I think. I have one kid who went to Duke and one who attended Penn. Both had overall good experiences but both were pretty burned out by the time the got to college. It was a rat race. I have another kid applying to college now, and she's looking at schools with a 50% admission rate. Sure, she probably won't have the advantages of an elite school, however the application process is SO much less stressful! I think for her the rat race just wasn't the right choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"The point is that I'm not going to be your lifetime beneficiary so if you want food to eat clothes to wear and a roof over your head when you hit 18 then it's in your best interest to put yourself in a position to attain those things."

LMFAO. You realize that 70% of adults in the US don't even have a bachelor's degree or higher, much less one from a top 10 school? That is probably less than 1% of the population in the US. You really think that 99% of people over the age of 18 don't have food to eat, clothes to wear, or a roof over their head?

I'm not concerned with the 70% of flyover trash, Walmart employees, etc. I personally don't know any adults without a bachelors. DMV is the wealthiest and most educated region in the USA. The bar here is higher.

Even if my kids all graduate summa cumme laude from Harvard or Stanford & go on to have highly successful careers, I will have failed as a parent if any of them end up with the kind of elitist attitude, narrow worldview, & lack of respect for their fellow human demonstrated by this PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"The point is that I'm not going to be your lifetime beneficiary so if you want food to eat clothes to wear and a roof over your head when you hit 18 then it's in your best interest to put yourself in a position to attain those things."

LMFAO. You realize that 70% of adults in the US don't even have a bachelor's degree or higher, much less one from a top 10 school? That is probably less than 1% of the population in the US. You really think that 99% of people over the age of 18 don't have food to eat, clothes to wear, or a roof over their head?

I'm not concerned with the 70% of flyover trash, Walmart employees, etc. I personally don't know any adults without a bachelors. DMV is the wealthiest and most educated region in the USA. The bar here is higher.

Even if my kids all graduate summa cumme laude from Harvard or Stanford & go on to have highly successful careers, I will have failed as a parent if any of them end up with the kind of elitist attitude, narrow worldview, & lack of respect for their fellow human demonstrated by this PP.

+1000!