High school senior daughter asked me "What's the point of all this?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no point. Sounds like your daughter is smarter than most of the people on this thread.

+1

See the Excellent Sheep book about "elite" college students: http://www.excellentsheep.com/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - not everyone is cut out intellectually and personality-wise for the top ticket. Your DD sounds like someone who simply is not cut out for the elite schools. She'll be happier and will do fine, as others have said, at "Average State U". Not everyone is meant for top tier.

How on earth do you come to this conclusion based on the OP?

This whole thread, much like the Brown/Michigan thread, shows a really ugly side of elite college grads. I went to an elite college and grad school and knew my share of neurotic bitches, but it seems like things have really deteriorated since my day. It's sad that people feel this way, and worse that they are willing to say cruel things about 17-22 year old students. How would you feel if you were the OPs daughter coming across this thread. Or a Michigan student, or a Brown student.

My sense is that there are 1 or 2 people on both threads being deliberately provocative. I hope so anyway!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - not everyone is cut out intellectually and personality-wise for the top ticket. Your DD sounds like someone who simply is not cut out for the elite schools. She'll be happier and will do fine, as others have said, at "Average State U". Not everyone is meant for top tier.

How on earth do you come to this conclusion based on the OP?

This whole thread, much like the Brown/Michigan thread, shows a really ugly side of elite college grads. I went to an elite college and grad school and knew my share of neurotic bitches, but it seems like things have really deteriorated since my day. It's sad that people feel this way, and worse that they are willing to say cruel things about 17-22 year old students. How would you feel if you were the OPs daughter coming across this thread. Or a Michigan student, or a Brown student.

Eh. I went to Michigan and plenty of kids oooked down on Michigan State kids who looked down on Western Michigan kids who looked down on Wayne State kids who looked down on community college kids. People just suck.

It's one thing to experience that from others. It's a whole other thing to teach it to your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Eh. I went to Michigan and plenty of kids oooked down on Michigan State kids who looked down on Western Michigan kids who looked down on Wayne State kids who looked down on community college kids. People just suck.

Georgetown kids certainly look down on George Washington kids. My husband went to Harvard and mocks the 'lesser' Ivies. He considers Cornell-Northwestern-Duke safeties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Eh. I went to Michigan and plenty of kids oooked down on Michigan State kids who looked down on Western Michigan kids who looked down on Wayne State kids who looked down on community college kids. People just suck.

Georgetown kids certainly look down on George Washington kids. My husband went to Harvard and mocks the 'lesser' Ivies. He considers Cornell-Northwestern-Duke safeties.

I hope your kids can live up to that. It sounds like unless they went to/go to Harvard he will think less of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Eh. I went to Michigan and plenty of kids oooked down on Michigan State kids who looked down on Western Michigan kids who looked down on Wayne State kids who looked down on community college kids. People just suck.

Georgetown kids certainly look down on George Washington kids. My husband went to Harvard and mocks the 'lesser' Ivies. He considers Cornell-Northwestern-Duke safeties.

I hope your kids can live up to that. It sounds like unless they went to/go to Harvard he will think less of them.

And more of himself, which is what he wants.

Guy is an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Eh. I went to Michigan and plenty of kids oooked down on Michigan State kids who looked down on Western Michigan kids who looked down on Wayne State kids who looked down on community college kids. People just suck.

Georgetown kids certainly look down on George Washington kids. My husband went to Harvard and mocks the 'lesser' Ivies. He considers Cornell-Northwestern-Duke safeties.

Fascinating.

Based on the limited amount of information you've provided, I consider your husband a jackass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no point. Sounds like your daughter is smarter than most of the people on this thread.

+1

We all end up dead. But I imagine you don't want to hammer home that point with your kid.

There are happy people and unhappy people of all walks of life. Nothing is guaranteed.

Good point. I've spent a lot of time around big law, hedge fund, etc. people (the vast majority of whom graduated from "elite" schools) and I wouldn't exactly call them beacons of happiness. Beacons of alcohol and workaholicism and affairs, maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I wonder about the "keep your options open" mantra for a couple of reasons. One is that it can be a means of endlessly deferring gratification and/or articulating a goal.

Why do people act like smart ambitious kids are all miserable? As if every state school slacker is happy go lucky and walks on clouds all day. Give me a break. My daughter's friends are mostly 4.0 kids, super involved, popular, athletes and musicians, full schedules. They're not psycho tiger cubs who are secretly depressed, they're just competitive and get joy from learning, accomplishing goals, making an impact in the community.

If this is true for your child then consider yourself lucky. I assure you it is not true for a large segment of this population.

signed,

mental health professional working at an "elite" college counseling center

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I wonder about the "keep your options open" mantra for a couple of reasons. One is that it can be a means of endlessly deferring gratification and/or articulating a goal.

Why do people act like smart ambitious kids are all miserable? As if every state school slacker is happy go lucky and walks on clouds all day. Give me a break. My daughter's friends are mostly 4.0 kids, super involved, popular, athletes and musicians, full schedules. They're not psycho tiger cubs who are secretly depressed, they're just competitive and get joy from learning, accomplishing goals, making an impact in the community.

If this is true for your child then consider yourself lucky. I assure you it is not true for a large segment of this population.

signed,

mental health professional working at an "elite" college counseling center

. . . yeah, nobody is depressed or suffering from anxiety at tailgate states. Any pop in the data is likely because smart kids are smart enough and driven enough and responsible enough to go seek help, versus dummies who lack maturity and probably don't comprehend how a health professional can help them work through and overcome the issues they're experiencing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Eh. I went to Michigan and plenty of kids oooked down on Michigan State kids who looked down on Western Michigan kids who looked down on Wayne State kids who looked down on community college kids. People just suck.

Georgetown kids certainly look down on George Washington kids. My husband went to Harvard and mocks the 'lesser' Ivies. He considers Cornell-Northwestern-Duke safeties.

I hope your kids can live up to that. It sounds like unless they went to/go to Harvard he will think less of them.

No. He understands 5% acceptance rates at HYPS makes those colleges pretty impossible these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I wonder about the "keep your options open" mantra for a couple of reasons. One is that it can be a means of endlessly deferring gratification and/or articulating a goal.

Why do people act like smart ambitious kids are all miserable? As if every state school slacker is happy go lucky and walks on clouds all day. Give me a break. My daughter's friends are mostly 4.0 kids, super involved, popular, athletes and musicians, full schedules. They're not psycho tiger cubs who are secretly depressed, they're just competitive and get joy from learning, accomplishing goals, making an impact in the community.

If this is true for your child then consider yourself lucky. I assure you it is not true for a large segment of this population.

signed,

mental health professional working at an "elite" college counseling center

. . . yeah, nobody is depressed or suffering from anxiety at tailgate states. Any pop in the data is likely because smart kids are smart enough and driven enough and responsible enough to go seek help, versus dummies who lack maturity and probably don't comprehend how a health professional can help them work through and overcome the issues they're experiencing.

PP clearly wasn't implying that there are no non-elite students who are unhappy. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Do you work, OP?

I've noticed a lot of girls and young adult women with perpetual stay at home moms lack direction. Why study hard when you want to play tennis all morning?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Eh. I went to Michigan and plenty of kids oooked down on Michigan State kids who looked down on Western Michigan kids who looked down on Wayne State kids who looked down on community college kids. People just suck.

Georgetown kids certainly look down on George Washington kids. My husband went to Harvard and mocks the 'lesser' Ivies. He considers Cornell-Northwestern-Duke safeties.

Fascinating.

Based on the limited amount of information you've provided, I consider your husband a jackass.

I was just going to post this so +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the point?

To secure a high-status job in a top tier city, a quality social circle, and a smart & rich spouse who you can produce bright offspring with.

So that in 30 years she can log on to DCUM and secretly complain about her loveless marriage and messed-up kids and then put other people down to try and feel better about herself.