Why would you date a person who you would never marry because of their race?

[Anonymous]

I've seen this a lot in terms of Jewish men who really want to marry Jewish women and consider it a prerequisite, but somehow only manage to date non-Jews.

These are men who SAY they are looking to settle down, and SAY that marrying a Jewish woman is imperative, but only date Christians who are not interested in conversion.

[Anonymous]

This is where many women need to change and raise the bar. If a woman wants a life partner she needs to not have sex until there's a commitment. Don't have sex with the guy on the 2nd or 7th date for that matter. Have you met his family? Do you really know him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:White people and Koreans -- lots of racists on both sides there.

This. All of the people I know who are Asian that had issues, it was the Koreans who broke it off, usually because of their parents. I know a Korean boy who broke up with his high school sweetheart after 6 years of dating because his mother told him he could never marry a Chinese girl. I know a Korean girl who broke up with her boyfriend because he was Jewish and family said they'd disown her. Another Korean girl with an AA man, her parents threatened to cut her off. Etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't date a couple guys because of their race. One guy was basically a stranger, another was a friend. I didn't tell him the real reason but at least I didn't get involved with him and then try to dump him later. I think if you can date them, you could marry them. I know it appears racist, but it's a personal choice what kind of children you want to have. I think the guy would probably date her just to use her, unfortunately.

Clarify? Are you talking about how you want to raise your kids in terms of language, religion, and such? Or do you think that children of different ethnic appearances are "different kinds" of kids?

I absolutely understand not wanting to marry someone from a different country or vastly different culture-- coming from the same background can make raising kids a lot easier. That's not racism at all. (I happen to be married to someone of a different race from a different country, but I don't think it's racism that most people from his culture don't marry people from different backgrounds, although the idea of having to marry within one's own "caste" to me is a similarly prejudiced idea, less about real differences between human beings than perceived and culturally-invented differences, like race itself.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:White people and Koreans -- lots of racists on both sides there.

This. All of the people I know who are Asian that had issues, it was the Koreans who broke it off, usually because of their parents. I know a Korean boy who broke up with his high school sweetheart after 6 years of dating because his mother told him he could never marry a Chinese girl. I know a Korean girl who broke up with her boyfriend because he was Jewish and family said they'd disown her. Another Korean girl with an AA man, her parents threatened to cut her off. Etc.

All those things can certainly be true, but I have never seen that much systematic racism as that practiced by AA families.

Just look up marriage statistics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is racist and likely due to his upbringing. I bet he either has not introduced her to his family or very minimally brings her around the family. He sounds like an arrogant asshole who enjoys the passive kind nature of Asian women; but has a lack of respect for her due to his racist upbringing, thus will not marry her. For her sake, I hope they never marry or have kids.

Do you know any Korean women? "Passive" is not an adjective I would ever use to describe them.

[Anonymous]

same reason jewish guys mess around with non-Jews -- break-up reason ready to go at any point! Oops, you're not Jewish, gotta go, thanks for the couple years.

second reason, it's just so fun, so sexy and good for the ego.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Co worker, age 29, white guy, dating Korean American woman, 29 or so.
He says that he would never marry her because she is Korean.
He likes her company now, but has made up his mind that he will end the relationship by fall to look for a white woman. And he is serious about this.
I asked him if she knows that he will be breaking it up, and the real reason. He said that she knows...I think not, but what ever.
Why do people do this to themselves and each other?

Your co-worker is a selfish, immature jerk.
Dating someone you sense you will never marry or never truly love is just a biding time tactic. Selfish, immature, imagine if she was your daughter and he was the "type" to do just that. Guess she'll learn what he is the hard way.

[Anonymous]

I dated a woman with a tattoo for the great sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Co worker, age 29, white guy, dating Korean American woman, 29 or so.
He says that he would never marry her because she is Korean.
He likes her company now, but has made up his mind that he will end the relationship by fall to look for a white woman. And he is serious about this.
I asked him if she knows that he will be breaking it up, and the real reason. He said that she knows...I think not, but what ever.
Why do people do this to themselves and each other?

Your co-worker is a selfish, immature jerk.
Dating someone you sense you will never marry or never truly love is just a biding time tactic. Selfish, immature, imagine if she was your daughter and he was the "type" to do just that. Guess she'll learn what he is the hard way.

I knew a few guys like this and the women got pregnant, appears they had their own plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:same reason jewish guys mess around with non-Jews -- break-up reason ready to go at any point! Oops, you're not Jewish, gotta go, thanks for the couple years.

second reason, it's just so fun, so sexy and good for the ego.

or they get pregnant knowing their child will be well taken care of by the Jewish family. I used to work in family court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A guy I was seeing told me this. After we'd been seeing each other for awhile and had been physically intimate. I was unprepared when he told me. He had had a fair amount to drink, I'm not sure he meant to actually say it out loud to me.

Same thing happenned to me many years ago. I'm a white woman and I was dating an Indian American (Brahmin) medical student. He said that he had to marry another Brahmin or his parents would be very upset. He was also studying medicine even though he hated it because his parents made him. The guy had no backbone and it also pissed me off that he didn't consider me good enough to marry so I dumped him. He actually seemed surprised.

I never met his parents but they sounded like total snobs and nightmare inlaws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a name for it. Expiration dating.

If she is Ok with it, I think you should be too OP.

I hope you meant experiential or experimental, anyway, it is only OK if the other party knows.

Nope I meant expiration, as in the relationship has a known end date. You can even google the term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an African woman and I dated a few white men who I knew I would never marry because I didn't want a white husband, white in laws, or half-white kids. I had a couple of years-long relationships with white men, but never brought them home and told them an intro to the family was out of the question. I don't think whites are used to being found unsuitable, so each one was in denial until I broke up with them.

As a black women, I think this is weird. You might have some psychosocial issues. You don't repeatedly date someone of a race, you don't want to marry, for years just for fun. I can understand short term flings but for years and then tell yourself it's normal. It's a either a fetish thing or maybe deep down wanted to marry a white man.

Okay, well, I'm glad my post gave you a chance to practice psychology. I don't see what is weird about dating who is around me while knowing I will ultimately marry someone who fits into my family. Many people of minority cultures do this. Africans are less than 2% of the black US population. Maybe what makes sense to you is for all of us in predominantly white surroundings to stay single and date no one until it is time to marry, but that doesn't make sense to us.

Unfortunately in the "African American" race better know as Blacks, there is a tendency to look the other way on black males dating/marrying out of their race but the expectation of black women is to only date and marry in their race. I think as an "African" you thoughts and view on interracial dating maybe different from what Blacks experience. I think in your country marrying outside your race is still very taboo.

Africans always come home. That is just how we are. We are not impressed by people who do not share our culture no matter how much the media might try to brainwash us. My brother dated white women, including one for six years, but at the end of the day, he married a woman from our tribe and country. The only Africans I can think of who don't come back to their people to marry are those who can't because their families have bad reputations, they were raised abroad and don't understand their culture, or they are otherwise likely to be judged harshly by other Africans.

Thankfully some think outside the herd, and long ago got off the farm.

I don't think anyone is losing sleep over whatever you are doing. Good luck on the plantation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is racist and likely due to his upbringing. I bet he either has not introduced her to his family or very minimally brings her around the family. He sounds like an arrogant asshole who enjoys the passive kind nature of Asian women; but has a lack of respect for her due to his racist upbringing, thus will not marry her. For her sake, I hope they never marry or have kids.

Do you know any Korean women? "Passive" is not an adjective I would ever use to describe them.

I was just thinking I don't know any passive Korean women.