How to tell my fiancé to stop always waking me up?

[Anonymous]

I had a friend whose husband would actually wake her up for sex. She needed her sleep and had a job she hated but had to get up early. I remember her complaining, and being very resentful. She told him not to do it, to stop...etc. The guy was a idiot, all about him but at least she refused and told him she would just sleep in the other room. It's amazing to me that someone tells a person in no uncertain terms...yet they refuse and continue to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend whose husband would actually wake her up for sex. She needed her sleep and had a job she hated but had to get up early. I remember her complaining, and being very resentful. She told him not to do it, to stop...etc. The guy was a idiot, all about him but at least she refused and told him she would just sleep in the other room. It's amazing to me that someone tells a person in no uncertain terms...yet they refuse and continue to do it.

I dunno, depends how unavailable she was for sex. If there were having sex once every 2 months and she was sleeping the days away what's the point of the relationship? It's a roommates situation. Obviously this isn't OP's situation.

[Anonymous]

My husband used to call me at 7 am every f ing morning to wake me up. Stopped that right then and there. Then he started doing it at 9 am. Stopped that too. Then he'd call me at noon. I finally said cut it out.

I blew up one time. I said don't ever call me during the day unless it's an emergency. If you're out of state, call after 5 pm.

We have no kids. Who gives a damn what time I get up, sleep till, go to bed. I'm grown and you ain't my fucking Daddy ! I also told him if he even thought about controlling my day, he could find another wife. If I'm sleeping, be quiet and find something to amuse yourself. I'll get up when I'm ready.

That was 20 years ago. He never woke me up after that.

[Anonymous]

I love and treasure my sleep time and would be so pissed off if someone repeatedly woke me up for no good reason.

It's completely selfish and inconsiderate of him to not respect your request. It's like what you ask for doesn't matter at all and that is simply not the truth.

[Anonymous]

My eleven year old has more self control than this. Dump the jerk.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't respect you or your wishes. If you want to be with somebody like this for the rest of your life, by all means, marry him.

[Anonymous]

Depriving someone of necessary sleep could actually be considered abusive.

[Anonymous]

Another example. This morning, he comes in from going to the gym early. He comes in the house at 6 am. I'm asleep. He comes into the room and starts asking me what do I want for breakfast. He shakes me awake to ask if i want cereal because we are out of milk. Basically he's asking if I would like for him to go pick up some milk. This is what I mean by he is a sweet caring guy who means well but he kind of misfires when it comes to being sweet.

[Anonymous]

Why is he still your fiancé when he can't even abide by the most basic and reasonable requests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another example. This morning, he comes in from going to the gym early. He comes in the house at 6 am. I'm asleep. He comes into the room and starts asking me what do I want for breakfast. He shakes me awake to ask if i want cereal because we are out of milk. Basically he's asking if I would like for him to go pick up some milk. This is what I mean by he is a sweet caring guy who means well but he kind of misfires when it comes to being sweet.

what did you tell him when he woke you up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband used to call me at 7 am every f ing morning to wake me up. Stopped that right then and there. Then he started doing it at 9 am. Stopped that too. Then he'd call me at noon. I finally said cut it out.

I blew up one time. I said don't ever call me during the day unless it's an emergency. If you're out of state, call after 5 pm.

We have no kids. Who gives a damn what time I get up, sleep till, go to bed. I'm grown and you ain't my fucking Daddy ! I also told him if he even thought about controlling my day, he could find another wife. If I'm sleeping, be quiet and find something to amuse yourself. I'll get up when I'm ready.

That was 20 years ago. He never woke me up after that.

You know, this sounds like the crazy nuclear option, but it does work. Married 8 years and my husband knows not to wake me up. Ever.

So I have to wonder, when your fiancée wakes you up to ask you a question, how do you respond? If you answer him, you are reinforcing his behavior. If you give him the screaming crazy bitch, I promise he won't do it again anytime soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another example. This morning, he comes in from going to the gym early. He comes in the house at 6 am. I'm asleep. He comes into the room and starts asking me what do I want for breakfast. He shakes me awake to ask if i want cereal because we are out of milk. Basically he's asking if I would like for him to go pick up some milk. This is what I mean by he is a sweet caring guy who means well but he kind of misfires when it comes to being sweet.

You give him too much credit. He woke you up as punishment for being out of milk and to make sure you don't let that happen again. He's terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My eleven year old has more self control than this. Dump the jerk.

+1000. He's a selfish asshole! My asshole fil does this to mil. It's so annoying and sad. But in all seriousness don't you want someone who will take care of you when you are sick? He seems to do the opposite. No empathy at all.

Good luck op!

[Anonymous]

My DH does this on workdays. He has to leave very early and he always wakes me up to say goodbye and give me a kiss. I don't want to be mean but damn. Stop waking me up!!! When I even hint that it's annoying he seems sad.

[Anonymous]

If you said, "As you know, I have a medical condition and need to sleep to be as healthy as I can be. Why do you wake me up for trivial things and things that can wait?"

What would he say?