Facebook Post from Sheryl Sandberg on Dealing with Grief

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what she wrote was amazing and touching and real. I believe that she had a great marriage and loving and close family.

I am surprised by how some posters are doubting her sincerity and relationship with her husband.

I do not think it is because they believe in her work philosophy of "Leaning In" or not. I did not lean in and I am a happy SAHM.

I think those women who have a loving relationship with their husbands identify with her sentiments about the loss of her husband, those that are unhappily married are tearing her apart now.

Whose tearing her apart? Most of the discussion has been whether people find her piece touching, and whether it's a piece that maybe should not have broadcast globally (as opposed to her closest friends/family.

Why is that any concern of yours? Maybe because she is well known globally, people are interested in her. Perhaps for someone like you, sharing with your closest friends would make sense, because no one knows who you are.




Again, ninety percent of the comments have nothing to do with the nature of the relationship with her husband. And big surprise, when you publish something to the world, people have opinions on it, negative and positive. Sheryl is most definitely aware of this, given the reaction to her book. Since she chose to share her piece with the world, people are certainly entitled to have opinions about it. If you think she chose to publish it without hoping for a particular type of reaction, you are hopelessly naive.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for sharing, OP. It was definitely vulnerable and resonated with me. I'm one of those people that don't know what to say to someone in grief. I can see myself in her colleagues and the parents of her kids' classmates. Wanting to say something encouraging, but too worried I'll offend.

[Anonymous]

Curious to know if anyone posting on this thread has experienced life altering tragedy and the gut-wrenching grief that comes with it. It is a horrible, horrible thing. Too awful to really even describe in words, especially when you're only 30 days out like Sheryl. It is probably all she can do to breathe in and out each day. She has to, because she has two kids and a huge career.

I believe she wrote the post because it was cathartic, because she is trying to find some meaning in this tragedy by hoping her words will touch someone else, and as a love letter to her husband. When she described the deep void that you fall into in grief--- you have no idea how deep and how vast and how paralyzing and crushing that void is unless you've experienced it.

So, while I hope no one on this thread has been so unlucky, and while I hope those posting are spared tragedy in their lives, I think everyone disparaging this woman at this darkest period of her life should try to have some compassion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest for her.

+1. Honestly the insecurity and nastiness of some of the women on this board is remarkable.

Umm hi. I've actually read Lean In. I've also spent 15 years climbing the ladder at a Fortune 25 company. When you say she only encouraged women to be more strategic about their career in that book you're wrong. The entire book was her shoving HER perspective on me, on every woman that read it: "I did it this way, that's why you should too!" It was classist and insinuated the only reason someone might choose to leave their careers behind was because they didn't act enough like men. Guess what! I'm not a man. I'm a mom. I pumped in closets, and cars and stored milk in half-assed hotel room fridges. I missed precious time with my babies. I strained my marriage and I missed moments I will never get back. But those were my choices - they were mine to make just like Sheryl made hets. i fervently believe everyone should do what's right for them. However, It's not a joke, the saying, that no one ever in the history of time, has said "I wish I spent more time at the office" on their death beds.

The post was heartfelt - I am certain she's in immense amounts of pain for her and her children. But it was also startegic. That's sheryl's MO as far as I can tell.

My grandmother was a WOHM for a big manufacturing company during the 1950s and continuing onward. She's now 96, still sharp as a tack, and it is not exaggerating to say that she cherishes the time she spent at her job. She broke down a lot of barriers (was the first WOHM ever hired for her position), put up with crap that I can't even imagine, funded her own lengthy retirement at a time when women weren't always even allowed into the company pension plans, and still had (and has) a warm and close relationship with her kids and eventually grandkids. She's proud of what she did, all these years later, justifiably so. She is fortunately not on her deathbed, so I suppose there is still room for her develop regrets, but I sure haven't heard any yet, and I talk with her all the time.

I'm sorry you have regrets. But you're wrong to believe that all working moms feel the same way or should feel the way you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest for her.

+1. Honestly the insecurity and nastiness of some of the women on this board is remarkable.

Umm hi. I've actually read Lean In. I've also spent 15 years climbing the ladder at a Fortune 25 company. When you say she only encouraged women to be more strategic about their career in that book you're wrong. The entire book was her shoving HER perspective on me, on every woman that read it: "I did it this way, that's why you should too!" It was classist and insinuated the only reason someone might choose to leave their careers behind was because they didn't act enough like men. Guess what! I'm not a man. I'm a mom. I pumped in closets, and cars and stored milk in half-assed hotel room fridges. I missed precious time with my babies. I strained my marriage and I missed moments I will never get back. But those were my choices - they were mine to make just like Sheryl made hets. i fervently believe everyone should do what's right for them. However, It's not a joke, the saying, that no one ever in the history of time, has said "I wish I spent more time at the office" on their death beds.

The post was heartfelt - I am certain she's in immense amounts of pain for her and her children. But it was also startegic. That's sheryl's MO as far as I can tell.

My grandmother was a WOHM for a big manufacturing company during the 1950s and continuing onward. She's now 96, still sharp as a tack, and it is not exaggerating to say that she cherishes the time she spent at her job. She broke down a lot of barriers (was the first WOHM ever hired for her position), put up with crap that I can't even imagine, funded her own lengthy retirement at a time when women weren't always even allowed into the company pension plans, and still had (and has) a warm and close relationship with her kids and eventually grandkids. She's proud of what she did, all these years later, justifiably so. She is fortunately not on her deathbed, so I suppose there is still room for her develop regrets, but I sure haven't heard any yet, and I talk with her all the time.

I'm sorry you have regrets. But you're wrong to believe that all working moms feel the same way or should feel the way you do.

You missed pp's point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious to know if anyone posting on this thread has experienced life altering tragedy and the gut-wrenching grief that comes with it. It is a horrible, horrible thing. Too awful to really even describe in words, especially when you're only 30 days out like Sheryl. It is probably all she can do to breathe in and out each day. She has to, because she has two kids and a huge career.

I believe she wrote the post because it was cathartic, because she is trying to find some meaning in this tragedy by hoping her words will touch someone else, and as a love letter to her husband. When she described the deep void that you fall into in grief--- you have no idea how deep and how vast and how paralyzing and crushing that void is unless you've experienced it.

So, while I hope no one on this thread has been so unlucky, and while I hope those posting are spared tragedy in their lives, I think everyone disparaging this woman at this darkest period of her life should try to have some compassion.

Yup. Painful, incredible, searing loss - just like you OP. I can still come to the conclusion that Sheryl's post was strategic in its own way. I'm not saying she doesn't deserve the catharsis or shouldn't share her experience, but a dozen of my friends who haven't lost like we have shared this post to their threads and I'm only lamenting that she doesn't speak of her regrets at any point. But then she's only 30 days out right? You know they're there as well as I. I own my regrets. I wear them like a coat, in an effort not to produce any more, so that I can hopefully spare others the same types of regrets. Sheryl apparently doesn't care to share her regrets, and that's fine - again, HER choice. But for me, honesty is always a double sided coin and I've never seen her flip side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The post was heartfelt - I am certain she's in immense amounts of pain for her and her children. But it was also startegic. That's sheryl's MO as far as I can tell.

NP here. Perfect way to put it. I was extremely moved while reading the post (which I read before coming here, a friend shared it). And after reading it, as I sat there reflecting... I felt like I'd been set up for another book, that it was a very strategic post, that I was being set up for Lean In with a twist (which is to say, a preachy book that doesn't address the reality of most women in white collar jobs making a small fraction of what she makes and hiding all the hired help it takes her to do what she does).

[Anonymous]

I loved the post and so did many women on my news feed who shared it and discussed. I so admire Sheryl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest for her.

+1. Honestly the insecurity and nastiness of some of the women on this board is remarkable.

Umm hi. I've actually read Lean In. I've also spent 15 years climbing the ladder at a Fortune 25 company. When you say she only encouraged women to be more strategic about their career in that book you're wrong. The entire book was her shoving HER perspective on me, on every woman that read it: "I did it this way, that's why you should too!" It was classist and insinuated the only reason someone might choose to leave their careers behind was because they didn't act enough like men. Guess what! I'm not a man. I'm a mom. I pumped in closets, and cars and stored milk in half-assed hotel room fridges. I missed precious time with my babies. I strained my marriage and I missed moments I will never get back. But those were my choices - they were mine to make just like Sheryl made hets. i fervently believe everyone should do what's right for them. However, It's not a joke, the saying, that no one ever in the history of time, has said "I wish I spent more time at the office" on their death beds.

The post was heartfelt - I am certain she's in immense amounts of pain for her and her children. But it was also startegic. That's sheryl's MO as far as I can tell.

Good god lady, put the book down then and walk away. I can't fathom how anyone MADE you read the book. No one shoved her perspective on you - you CHOSE to read her book. If it didn't speak to you, put it down and say, "wow, not how I experienced things. Oh well, that's going to sit on a shelf." It's really that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest for her.

+1. Honestly the insecurity and nastiness of some of the women on this board is remarkable.

Umm hi. I've actually read Lean In. I've also spent 15 years climbing the ladder at a Fortune 25 company. When you say she only encouraged women to be more strategic about their career in that book you're wrong. The entire book was her shoving HER perspective on me, on every woman that read it: "I did it this way, that's why you should too!" It was classist and insinuated the only reason someone might choose to leave their careers behind was because they didn't act enough like men. Guess what! I'm not a man. I'm a mom. I pumped in closets, and cars and stored milk in half-assed hotel room fridges. I missed precious time with my babies. I strained my marriage and I missed moments I will never get back. But those were my choices - they were mine to make just like Sheryl made hets. i fervently believe everyone should do what's right for them. However, It's not a joke, the saying, that no one ever in the history of time, has said "I wish I spent more time at the office" on their death beds.

The post was heartfelt - I am certain she's in immense amounts of pain for her and her children. But it was also startegic. That's sheryl's MO as far as I can tell.

My grandmother was a WOHM for a big manufacturing company during the 1950s and continuing onward. She's now 96, still sharp as a tack, and it is not exaggerating to say that she cherishes the time she spent at her job. She broke down a lot of barriers (was the first WOHM ever hired for her position), put up with crap that I can't even imagine, funded her own lengthy retirement at a time when women weren't always even allowed into the company pension plans, and still had (and has) a warm and close relationship with her kids and eventually grandkids. She's proud of what she did, all these years later, justifiably so. She is fortunately not on her deathbed, so I suppose there is still room for her develop regrets, but I sure haven't heard any yet, and I talk with her all the time.

I'm sorry you have regrets. But you're wrong to believe that all working moms feel the same way or should feel the way you do.

You missed pp's point.

No, I didn't. PP's point was that Sheryl's book shoved Sheryl's perspective down PP's throat (which, okay, that's a really weird thing to say about a book, of which the point presumably is to lay out the author's perspective and which PP presumably had a choice to read but leaving that weirdness aside), PP claimed that Sheryl would only be "honest" if she laid out all her regrets because she must have them, because I guess Sheryl didn't live her life the way PP think she should have. And then she dragged out the line about not wanting more time in the office on her deathbed to bolster her claim that Sheryl's post wasn't "honest talk." The fact is that a lot of WOHMs live their entire lives without the regrets that PP claims Sheryl must have and "has" to be honest about, my grandmother among them. It sounds like PP has a lot of regrets about her life, and that may be the case, but that doesn't translate into a universal truth for WOHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's weird that she's posting to the general public on Facebook about this. Your friends and family? OK. But I read her post after it was shared by a bazillion people on Facebook and it just struck me as odd. Good for her if it lets her work through her grief, though.

This is what I thought exactly. Beautiful but a bit strange to share beyond friends and family.

Why? What's wrong with sharing your grief and thoughts about grieving? Death isn't a "bad thing"; it's part of everyone's life. We don't have to pretend like each of us isn't affected by it and that it deeply affects us forever. I think it's great she's sharing this and normalizing something that each of us will grapple with eventually.

Also, to PPs who are accusing Sandberg of being a neglectful wife, what makes you say that? And more to the point, if a male CEO or COO or corporate big wig lost their wife, would there be open questions as to his level of attentiveness and affection? Successful women are demonized at every turn.

Because sharing the personal with the world cheapens it, and it goes from personal thoughts to personal aggrandizement.

+1 it come across as an overt act to bolster you "personal brand". It reminded by of something oprah would just love to do a show on.

I totally agree with the bolded part above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest for her.

+1. Honestly the insecurity and nastiness of some of the women on this board is remarkable.

Umm hi. I've actually read Lean In. I've also spent 15 years climbing the ladder at a Fortune 25 company. When you say she only encouraged women to be more strategic about their career in that book you're wrong. The entire book was her shoving HER perspective on me, on every woman that read it: "I did it this way, that's why you should too!" It was classist and insinuated the only reason someone might choose to leave their careers behind was because they didn't act enough like men. Guess what! I'm not a man. I'm a mom. I pumped in closets, and cars and stored milk in half-assed hotel room fridges. I missed precious time with my babies. I strained my marriage and I missed moments I will never get back. But those were my choices - they were mine to make just like Sheryl made hets. i fervently believe everyone should do what's right for them. However, It's not a joke, the saying, that no one ever in the history of time, has said "I wish I spent more time at the office" on their death beds.

The post was heartfelt - I am certain she's in immense amounts of pain for her and her children. But it was also startegic. That's sheryl's MO as far as I can tell.

My grandmother was a WOHM for a big manufacturing company during the 1950s and continuing onward. She's now 96, still sharp as a tack, and it is not exaggerating to say that she cherishes the time she spent at her job. She broke down a lot of barriers (was the first WOHM ever hired for her position), put up with crap that I can't even imagine, funded her own lengthy retirement at a time when women weren't always even allowed into the company pension plans, and still had (and has) a warm and close relationship with her kids and eventually grandkids. She's proud of what she did, all these years later, justifiably so. She is fortunately not on her deathbed, so I suppose there is still room for her develop regrets, but I sure haven't heard any yet, and I talk with her all the time.

I'm sorry you have regrets. But you're wrong to believe that all working moms feel the same way or should feel the way you do.

You missed pp's point.

No, I didn't. PP's point was that Sheryl's book shoved Sheryl's perspective down PP's throat (which, okay, that's a really weird thing to say about a book, of which the point presumably is to lay out the author's perspective and which PP presumably had a choice to read but leaving that weirdness aside), PP claimed that Sheryl would only be "honest" if she laid out all her regrets because she must have them, because I guess Sheryl didn't live her life the way PP think she should have. And then she dragged out the line about not wanting more time in the office on her deathbed to bolster her claim that Sheryl's post wasn't "honest talk." The fact is that a lot of WOHMs live their entire lives without the regrets that PP claims Sheryl must have and "has" to be honest about, my grandmother among them. It sounds like PP has a lot of regrets about her life, and that may be the case, but that doesn't translate into a universal truth for WOHMs.

Not pp, but yes, you do continue to miss her point. Nearly everything Sheryl "writes" publicly has an agenda, no value judgment as to whether it is a good or bad agenda, but it is a common trail through her work. This piece is no different. Do I think the emotions are rare and genuine in this particular piece? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean there wasn't a purpose it was shared so publicly. Catharsis doesn't require oversharing.

Like most busy public figures, Sheryl had a ghost writer for Lean In, one whom she didn't regularly credit. Her Facebook posts, in the ordinary course, are drafted by others for her review (again, not surprising, she has better uses for her work time). The grief post was a highly polished piece as well-- I"m sure the emotions are very genuine but the piece represents more than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest for her.

+1. Honestly the insecurity and nastiness of some of the women on this board is remarkable.

Umm hi. I've actually read Lean In. I've also spent 15 years climbing the ladder at a Fortune 25 company. When you say she only encouraged women to be more strategic about their career in that book you're wrong. The entire book was her shoving HER perspective on me, on every woman that read it: "I did it this way, that's why you should too!" It was classist and insinuated the only reason someone might choose to leave their careers behind was because they didn't act enough like men. Guess what! I'm not a man. I'm a mom. I pumped in closets, and cars and stored milk in half-assed hotel room fridges. I missed precious time with my babies. I strained my marriage and I missed moments I will never get back. But those were my choices - they were mine to make just like Sheryl made hets. i fervently believe everyone should do what's right for them. However, It's not a joke, the saying, that no one ever in the history of time, has said "I wish I spent more time at the office" on their death beds.

The post was heartfelt - I am certain she's in immense amounts of pain for her and her children. But it was also startegic. That's sheryl's MO as far as I can tell.

My grandmother was a WOHM for a big manufacturing company during the 1950s and continuing onward. She's now 96, still sharp as a tack, and it is not exaggerating to say that she cherishes the time she spent at her job. She broke down a lot of barriers (was the first WOHM ever hired for her position), put up with crap that I can't even imagine, funded her own lengthy retirement at a time when women weren't always even allowed into the company pension plans, and still had (and has) a warm and close relationship with her kids and eventually grandkids. She's proud of what she did, all these years later, justifiably so. She is fortunately not on her deathbed, so I suppose there is still room for her develop regrets, but I sure haven't heard any yet, and I talk with her all the time.

I'm sorry you have regrets. But you're wrong to believe that all working moms feel the same way or should feel the way you do.

You missed pp's point.

No, I didn't. PP's point was that Sheryl's book shoved Sheryl's perspective down PP's throat (which, okay, that's a really weird thing to say about a book, of which the point presumably is to lay out the author's perspective and which PP presumably had a choice to read but leaving that weirdness aside), PP claimed that Sheryl would only be "honest" if she laid out all her regrets because she must have them, because I guess Sheryl didn't live her life the way PP think she should have. And then she dragged out the line about not wanting more time in the office on her deathbed to bolster her claim that Sheryl's post wasn't "honest talk." The fact is that a lot of WOHMs live their entire lives without the regrets that PP claims Sheryl must have and "has" to be honest about, my grandmother among them. It sounds like PP has a lot of regrets about her life, and that may be the case, but that doesn't translate into a universal truth for WOHMs.

Not pp, but yes, you do continue to miss her point. Nearly everything Sheryl "writes" publicly has an agenda, no value judgment as to whether it is a good or bad agenda, but it is a common trail through her work. This piece is no different. Do I think the emotions are rare and genuine in this particular piece? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean there wasn't a purpose it was shared so publicly. Catharsis doesn't require oversharing.

Like most busy public figures, Sheryl had a ghost writer for Lean In, one whom she didn't regularly credit. Her Facebook posts, in the ordinary course, are drafted by others for her review (again, not surprising, she has better uses for her work time). The grief post was a highly polished piece as well-- I"m sure the emotions are very genuine but the piece represents more than that.

That wasn't PP's point at all. Her point was that Sheryl wasn't being "honest" to PP's satisfaction.

Putting all that aside, I have no problem with ghost writers; isn't ghost writing a well-known thing? Or do you regularly criticize male writers of all stripes who use ghost writers? I assume you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest for her.

+1. Honestly the insecurity and nastiness of some of the women on this board is remarkable.

Umm hi. I've actually read Lean In. I've also spent 15 years climbing the ladder at a Fortune 25 company. When you say she only encouraged women to be more strategic about their career in that book you're wrong. The entire book was her shoving HER perspective on me, on every woman that read it: "I did it this way, that's why you should too!" It was classist and insinuated the only reason someone might choose to leave their careers behind was because they didn't act enough like men. Guess what! I'm not a man. I'm a mom. I pumped in closets, and cars and stored milk in half-assed hotel room fridges. I missed precious time with my babies. I strained my marriage and I missed moments I will never get back. But those were my choices - they were mine to make just like Sheryl made hets. i fervently believe everyone should do what's right for them. However, It's not a joke, the saying, that no one ever in the history of time, has said "I wish I spent more time at the office" on their death beds.

The post was heartfelt - I am certain she's in immense amounts of pain for her and her children. But it was also startegic. That's sheryl's MO as far as I can tell.

My grandmother was a WOHM for a big manufacturing company during the 1950s and continuing onward. She's now 96, still sharp as a tack, and it is not exaggerating to say that she cherishes the time she spent at her job. She broke down a lot of barriers (was the first WOHM ever hired for her position), put up with crap that I can't even imagine, funded her own lengthy retirement at a time when women weren't always even allowed into the company pension plans, and still had (and has) a warm and close relationship with her kids and eventually grandkids. She's proud of what she did, all these years later, justifiably so. She is fortunately not on her deathbed, so I suppose there is still room for her develop regrets, but I sure haven't heard any yet, and I talk with her all the time.

I'm sorry you have regrets. But you're wrong to believe that all working moms feel the same way or should feel the way you do.

You missed pp's point.

No, I didn't. PP's point was that Sheryl's book shoved Sheryl's perspective down PP's throat (which, okay, that's a really weird thing to say about a book, of which the point presumably is to lay out the author's perspective and which PP presumably had a choice to read but leaving that weirdness aside), PP claimed that Sheryl would only be "honest" if she laid out all her regrets because she must have them, because I guess Sheryl didn't live her life the way PP think she should have. And then she dragged out the line about not wanting more time in the office on her deathbed to bolster her claim that Sheryl's post wasn't "honest talk." The fact is that a lot of WOHMs live their entire lives without the regrets that PP claims Sheryl must have and "has" to be honest about, my grandmother among them. It sounds like PP has a lot of regrets about her life, and that may be the case, but that doesn't translate into a universal truth for WOHMs.

Not pp, but yes, you do continue to miss her point. Nearly everything Sheryl "writes" publicly has an agenda, no value judgment as to whether it is a good or bad agenda, but it is a common trail through her work. This piece is no different. Do I think the emotions are rare and genuine in this particular piece? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean there wasn't a purpose it was shared so publicly. Catharsis doesn't require oversharing.

Like most busy public figures, Sheryl had a ghost writer for Lean In, one whom she didn't regularly credit. Her Facebook posts, in the ordinary course, are drafted by others for her review (again, not surprising, she has better uses for her work time). The grief post was a highly polished piece as well-- I"m sure the emotions are very genuine but the piece represents more than that.

That wasn't PP's point at all. Her point was that Sheryl wasn't being "honest" to PP's satisfaction.

Putting all that aside, I have no problem with ghost writers; isn't ghost writing a well-known thing? Or do you regularly criticize male writers of all stripes who use ghost writers? I assume you do.

We will have to agree to disagree about pp's point, because I disagree with your interpretation as does at least one other poster on this thread.

You also miss my point entirely, It certainly isn't that ghost writing is bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loved the post and so did many women on my news feed who shared it and discussed. I so admire Sheryl.

Mission accomplished then.