Reply to Facebook Post from Sheryl Sandberg on Dealing with Grief

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have your credit cards ready.  Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring![/quote]

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent". [/quote]

This.  The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing?  Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk. [/quote]

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest [i]for her.[/i][/quote]

+1. Honestly the insecurity and nastiness of some of the women on this board is remarkable. [/quote]

Umm hi. I've actually read Lean In.  I've also spent 15 years climbing the ladder at a Fortune 25 company. When you say she only encouraged women to be more strategic about their career in that book you're wrong. The entire book was her shoving HER perspective on me, on every woman that read it: "I did it this way, that's why you should too!"  It was classist and insinuated the only reason someone might choose to leave their careers behind was because they didn't act enough like men. Guess what!  I'm not a man.  I'm a mom. I pumped in closets, and cars and stored milk in half-assed hotel room fridges.  I missed precious time with my babies. I strained my marriage and I missed moments I will never get back.   But those were my choices - they were mine to make just like Sheryl made hets.  i fervently believe everyone should do what's right for them. However, It's not a joke, the saying, that no one ever in the history of time, has said "I wish I spent more time at the office" on their death beds.

The post was heartfelt - I am certain she's in immense amounts of pain for her and her children. But it was also startegic. That's sheryl's MO as far as I can tell.  [/quote]

My grandmother was a WOHM for a big manufacturing company during the 1950s and continuing onward. She's now 96, still sharp as a tack, and it is not exaggerating to say that she cherishes the time she spent at her job. She broke down a lot of barriers (was the first WOHM ever hired for her position), put up with crap that I can't even imagine, funded her own lengthy retirement at a time when women weren't always even allowed into the company pension plans, and still had (and has) a warm and close relationship with her kids and eventually grandkids. She's proud of what she did, all these years later, justifiably so. She is fortunately not on her deathbed, so I suppose there is still room for her develop regrets, but I sure haven't heard any yet, and I talk with her all the time.

I'm sorry you have regrets. But you're wrong to believe that all working moms feel the same way or should feel the way you do. [/quote]

You missed pp's point. [/quote]

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