Facebook Post from Sheryl Sandberg on Dealing with Grief

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's weird that she's posting to the general public on Facebook about this. Your friends and family? OK. But I read her post after it was shared by a bazillion people on Facebook and it just struck me as odd. Good for her if it lets her work through her grief, though.

This is what I thought exactly. Beautiful but a bit strange to share beyond friends and family.

Why? What's wrong with sharing your grief and thoughts about grieving? Death isn't a "bad thing"; it's part of everyone's life. We don't have to pretend like each of us isn't affected by it and that it deeply affects us forever. I think it's great she's sharing this and normalizing something that each of us will grapple with eventually.

Also, to PPs who are accusing Sandberg of being a neglectful wife, what makes you say that? And more to the point, if a male CEO or COO or corporate big wig lost their wife, would there be open questions as to his level of attentiveness and affection? Successful women are demonized at every turn.

Because sharing the personal with the world cheapens it, and it goes from personal thoughts to personal aggrandizement.

Talking about your mom sleeping in bed with you to fill the empty space left by your spouse did not need to be shared. What guy would ever say that?


It's okay for people to express and say out loud what they think and feel about lost loved ones - especially in Dave Sandberg's case since he was a well-known person in his own right. Nothing cheap about talking about the person you love and your sense of loss. Unless your a heartless cynic, that is.

No, no harm at all, it's the over sharing that turns me off. You are free to feel differently, but turning to insults really isn't persuasive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For some people writing can be very therapeutic when dealing with grief. I had a cousin that lost both of her parents while she was in high school. From time to time she would write long posts on facebook about how she was dealing with it and what she had learned.

I wonder about those who automatically rush to assume the worst in people.

This.

[Anonymous]

Very good read and some good advice IMHO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well worth the read, IMO.

https://www.facebook.com/sheryl/posts/10155617891025177:0

Way too long for facebook and I don't think she understands how to use her own product.

You sure? It's gone viral. I've seen it circulating like crazy. Seems pretty effective to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's weird that she's posting to the general public on Facebook about this. Your friends and family? OK. But I read her post after it was shared by a bazillion people on Facebook and it just struck me as odd. Good for her if it lets her work through her grief, though.

This is what I thought exactly. Beautiful but a bit strange to share beyond friends and family.

Why? What's wrong with sharing your grief and thoughts about grieving? Death isn't a "bad thing"; it's part of everyone's life. We don't have to pretend like each of us isn't affected by it and that it deeply affects us forever. I think it's great she's sharing this and normalizing something that each of us will grapple with eventually.

Also, to PPs who are accusing Sandberg of being a neglectful wife, what makes you say that? And more to the point, if a male CEO or COO or corporate big wig lost their wife, would there be open questions as to his level of attentiveness and affection? Successful women are demonized at every turn.

The misogynist who hate on Sandberg will never answer this question. They simply are rendered speechless and carry on with their insults because that is all they can contribute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest for her.

+1. Honestly the insecurity and nastiness of some of the women on this board is remarkable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest for her.

+1. Honestly the insecurity and nastiness of some of the women on this board is remarkable.

Another +1 - the vitriol directed towards this woman is sad to see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She just doesn't inspire any feeling in me. Everything that comes out of her seems assembled by a team of experts and vetted by her publicist for maximum effect on the masses. The post is at once too personal and too canned.

THIS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's weird that she's posting to the general public on Facebook about this. Your friends and family? OK. But I read her post after it was shared by a bazillion people on Facebook and it just struck me as odd. Good for her if it lets her work through her grief, though.

agreed! Its like reality tv

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

so she is honest when she says what you want her to say. interesting.

[Anonymous]

I think what she wrote was amazing and touching and real. I believe that she had a great marriage and loving and close family.

I am surprised by how some posters are doubting her sincerity and relationship with her husband.

I do not think it is because they believe in her work philosophy of "Leaning In" or not. I did not lean in and I am a happy SAHM.

I think those women who have a loving relationship with their husbands identify with her sentiments about the loss of her husband, those that are unhappily married are tearing her apart now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what she wrote was amazing and touching and real. I believe that she had a great marriage and loving and close family.

I am surprised by how some posters are doubting her sincerity and relationship with her husband.

I do not think it is because they believe in her work philosophy of "Leaning In" or not. I did not lean in and I am a happy SAHM.

I think those women who have a loving relationship with their husbands identify with her sentiments about the loss of her husband, those that are unhappily married are tearing her apart now.

Whose tearing her apart? Most of the discussion has been whether people find her piece touching, and whether it's a piece that maybe should not have broadcast globally (as opposed to her closest friends/family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think what she wrote was amazing and touching and real. I believe that she had a great marriage and loving and close family.

I am surprised by how some posters are doubting her sincerity and relationship with her husband.

I do not think it is because they believe in her work philosophy of "Leaning In" or not. I did not lean in and I am a happy SAHM.

I think those women who have a loving relationship with their husbands identify with her sentiments about the loss of her husband, those that are unhappily married are tearing her apart now.

Whose tearing her apart? Most of the discussion has been whether people find her piece touching, and whether it's a piece that maybe should not have broadcast globally (as opposed to her closest friends/family.

Why is that any concern of yours? Maybe because she is well known globally, people are interested in her. Perhaps for someone like you, sharing with your closest friends would make sense, because no one knows who you are.

The fact remains that none of us know what her relationship with her husband was like. To be so critical of her at this time shows a lack of humanity and empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have your credit cards ready. Her book about how to grieve in an overachieving way comes out next spring!

Quickly followed by "how to lean in as a single parent".

This. The post was lovely, and had a lot of truth, but she want the first to speak that truth and she can still shove her leaning in where the sun doesn't shine. You know what would be amazing? Her saying maybe I should have spent so,e extra time with the man I loved and leaned a little less hard. Now THAT would be some honest talk.

Maybe that would be your honest talk, but it clearly wasn't for her. Why shove your perspective onto her? Don't want to read Lean In? Don't. Don't want to actually "lean in?" Don't. But for crying out loud don't also tell the woman what's honest for her.

+1. Honestly the insecurity and nastiness of some of the women on this board is remarkable.

Umm hi. I've actually read Lean In. I've also spent 15 years climbing the ladder at a Fortune 25 company. When you say she only encouraged women to be more strategic about their career in that book you're wrong. The entire book was her shoving HER perspective on me, on every woman that read it: "I did it this way, that's why you should too!" It was classist and insinuated the only reason someone might choose to leave their careers behind was because they didn't act enough like men. Guess what! I'm not a man. I'm a mom. I pumped in closets, and cars and stored milk in half-assed hotel room fridges. I missed precious time with my babies. I strained my marriage and I missed moments I will never get back. But those were my choices - they were mine to make just like Sheryl made hets. i fervently believe everyone should do what's right for them. However, It's not a joke, the saying, that no one ever in the history of time, has said "I wish I spent more time at the office" on their death beds.

The post was heartfelt - I am certain she's in immense amounts of pain for her and her children. But it was also startegic. That's sheryl's MO as far as I can tell.