Guys... What makes you put s ring on it?

[Anonymous]

You are getting some idiotic advice in this thread. You are not married because the guy you have wasted your life with doesn't want to marry you, okay? It's that simple. You should have left as soon as that was clear, instead of compromising your life goal for him.

Before I got married, I dated men who wouldn't quite commit. The key is to throw the garbage in the bin, instead of trying to hold on. One guy I dated for four months and when he still kept his silly little games, I stopped returning his calls. Another guy I really, really liked and he seemed perfect in every way, but he kept saying negative things about marriage and had a history of cheating on his girlfriends. As hard as it was, I dropped him too in a matter of months. The last guy I dated before I met my now DH worked very long hours and used them as an excuse why we didn't see each other all that much. I was really into him and when we saw each other, he was really into me. But he did not give me the attention I needed. I dumped him too after three months. A month later, I met my current husband and he was just wild about me. He would have died on the cross for me and HE begged me to marry him. That's what I'm talking about.

See, it's not that other women don't meet commitmentphobes and other time wasters. It's not that we're prettier or better or give up anal sex (as some repulsive beast suggested earlier in the thread). It is that we know how to move on to the next quickly until we find the guy who fits us and adores us exactly as we need.
pl

[Anonymous]

PP here. By the way, years later, I randomly learned that the guy I dated right before my DH had been dating two other girls in addition to me. That is why he was so busy. I didn't know he was juggling me with others when I decided to dump him, but I didn't need that information. All I needed to know to move on was that he didn't give me the time I deserved. If you learn how to cut your losses, you'll never go wrong.

[Anonymous]

You are getting some idiotic advice in this thread. You are not married because the guy you have wasted your life with doesn't want to marry you, okay? It's that simple. You should have left as soon as that was clear, instead of compromising your life goal for him.

Before I got married, I dated men who wouldn't quite commit. The key is to throw the garbage in the bin, instead of trying to hold on. One guy I dated for four months and when he still kept his silly little games, I stopped returning his calls. Another guy I really, really liked and he seemed perfect in every way, but he kept saying negative things about marriage and had a history of cheating on his girlfriends. As hard as it was, I dropped him too in a matter of months. The last guy I dated before I met my now DH worked very long hours and used them as an excuse why we didn't see each other all that much. I was really into him and when we saw each other, he was really into me. But he did not give me the attention I needed. I dumped him too after three months. A month later, I met my current husband and he was just wild about me. He would have died on the cross for me and HE begged me to marry him. That's what I'm talking about.

See, it's not that other women don't meet commitmentphobes and other time wasters. It's not that we're prettier or better or give up anal sex (as some repulsive beast suggested earlier in the thread). It is that we know how to move on to the next quickly until we find the guy who fits us and adores us exactly as we need.

1+. Simple answer is always the best one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are getting some idiotic advice in this thread. You are not married because the guy you have wasted your life with doesn't want to marry you, okay? It's that simple. You should have left as soon as that was clear, instead of compromising your life goal for him.

Before I got married, I dated men who wouldn't quite commit. The key is to throw the garbage in the bin, instead of trying to hold on. One guy I dated for four months and when he still kept his silly little games, I stopped returning his calls. Another guy I really, really liked and he seemed perfect in every way, but he kept saying negative things about marriage and had a history of cheating on his girlfriends. As hard as it was, I dropped him too in a matter of months. The last guy I dated before I met my now DH worked very long hours and used them as an excuse why we didn't see each other all that much. I was really into him and when we saw each other, he was really into me. But he did not give me the attention I needed. I dumped him too after three months. A month later, I met my current husband and he was just wild about me. He would have died on the cross for me and HE begged me to marry him. That's what I'm talking about.

See, it's not that other women don't meet commitmentphobes and other time wasters. It's not that we're prettier or better or give up anal sex (as some repulsive beast suggested earlier in the thread). It is that we know how to move on to the next quickly until we find the guy who fits us and adores us exactly as we need.
pl

I can see dumping someone after only a few months due to incompatibility issues. But dumping them after just a few months because they are not ready to talk marriage yet? No. I'm a woman and that would have been WAY too early for me too. Some of us just take longer to think marriage. I don't think that makes us defective or commitment phobes. Just really careful.

Now the folks who obviously are happier single/unhitched and have no desire to be exclusive with anyone - yeah, with them you just have to see the writing on the wall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are getting some idiotic advice in this thread. You are not married because the guy you have wasted your life with doesn't want to marry you, okay? It's that simple. You should have left as soon as that was clear, instead of compromising your life goal for him.

Before I got married, I dated men who wouldn't quite commit. The key is to throw the garbage in the bin, instead of trying to hold on. One guy I dated for four months and when he still kept his silly little games, I stopped returning his calls. Another guy I really, really liked and he seemed perfect in every way, but he kept saying negative things about marriage and had a history of cheating on his girlfriends. As hard as it was, I dropped him too in a matter of months. The last guy I dated before I met my now DH worked very long hours and used them as an excuse why we didn't see each other all that much. I was really into him and when we saw each other, he was really into me. But he did not give me the attention I needed. I dumped him too after three months. A month later, I met my current husband and he was just wild about me. He would have died on the cross for me and HE begged me to marry him. That's what I'm talking about.

See, it's not that other women don't meet commitmentphobes and other time wasters. It's not that we're prettier or better or give up anal sex (as some repulsive beast suggested earlier in the thread). It is that we know how to move on to the next quickly until we find the guy who fits us and adores us exactly as we need.
pl

I can see dumping someone after only a few months due to incompatibility issues. But dumping them after just a few months because they are not ready to talk marriage yet? No. I'm a woman and that would have been WAY too early for me too. Some of us just take longer to think marriage. I don't think that makes us defective or commitment phobes. Just really careful.

Now the folks who obviously are happier single/unhitched and have no desire to be exclusive with anyone - yeah, with them you just have to see the writing on the wall.

PP here. You misread my post. It was not that he was not ready to "talk" marriage. He had plenty to say about marriage and none of it was good. Women need to really hear a man and take what he is saying seriously. A man who has negative, selfish views on marriage is not going to suddenly become better because you wasted years on him. You might've waited before dumping that guy, but you would've been wasting your own time as many women do. It is almost 10 years later now and that guy is still not married. He has been in multiple long-term relationships with women who have tried everything and driven themselves nuts trying to marry him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are getting some idiotic advice in this thread. You are not married because the guy you have wasted your life with doesn't want to marry you, okay? It's that simple. You should have left as soon as that was clear, instead of compromising your life goal for him.

Before I got married, I dated men who wouldn't quite commit. The key is to throw the garbage in the bin, instead of trying to hold on. One guy I dated for four months and when he still kept his silly little games, I stopped returning his calls. Another guy I really, really liked and he seemed perfect in every way, but he kept saying negative things about marriage and had a history of cheating on his girlfriends. As hard as it was, I dropped him too in a matter of months. The last guy I dated before I met my now DH worked very long hours and used them as an excuse why we didn't see each other all that much. I was really into him and when we saw each other, he was really into me. But he did not give me the attention I needed. I dumped him too after three months. A month later, I met my current husband and he was just wild about me. He would have died on the cross for me and HE begged me to marry him. That's what I'm talking about.

See, it's not that other women don't meet commitmentphobes and other time wasters. It's not that we're prettier or better or give up anal sex (as some repulsive beast suggested earlier in the thread). It is that we know how to move on to the next quickly until we find the guy who fits us and adores us exactly as we need.
pl

I can see dumping someone after only a few months due to incompatibility issues. But dumping them after just a few months because they are not ready to talk marriage yet? No. I'm a woman and that would have been WAY too early for me too. Some of us just take longer to think marriage. I don't think that makes us defective or commitment phobes. Just really careful.

Now the folks who obviously are happier single/unhitched and have no desire to be exclusive with anyone - yeah, with them you just have to see the writing on the wall.

PP here. You misread my post. It was not that he was not ready to "talk" marriage. He had plenty to say about marriage and none of it was good. Women need to really hear a man and take what he is saying seriously. A man who has negative, selfish views on marriage is not going to suddenly become better because you wasted years on him. You might've waited before dumping that guy, but you would've been wasting your own time as many women do. It is almost 10 years later now and that guy is still not married. He has been in multiple long-term relationships with women who have tried everything and driven themselves nuts trying to marry him.

I guess he just wasn't interested in get married period. Nothing you did or could have done. That wasn't what he wanted. Good that you walked when you did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are getting some idiotic advice in this thread. You are not married because the guy you have wasted your life with doesn't want to marry you, okay? It's that simple. You should have left as soon as that was clear, instead of compromising your life goal for him.

Before I got married, I dated men who wouldn't quite commit. The key is to throw the garbage in the bin, instead of trying to hold on. One guy I dated for four months and when he still kept his silly little games, I stopped returning his calls. Another guy I really, really liked and he seemed perfect in every way, but he kept saying negative things about marriage and had a history of cheating on his girlfriends. As hard as it was, I dropped him too in a matter of months. The last guy I dated before I met my now DH worked very long hours and used them as an excuse why we didn't see each other all that much. I was really into him and when we saw each other, he was really into me. But he did not give me the attention I needed. I dumped him too after three months. A month later, I met my current husband and he was just wild about me. He would have died on the cross for me and HE begged me to marry him. That's what I'm talking about.

See, it's not that other women don't meet commitmentphobes and other time wasters. It's not that we're prettier or better or give up anal sex (as some repulsive beast suggested earlier in the thread). It is that we know how to move on to the next quickly until we find the guy who fits us and adores us exactly as we need.
pl

I can see dumping someone after only a few months due to incompatibility issues. But dumping them after just a few months because they are not ready to talk marriage yet? No. I'm a woman and that would have been WAY too early for me too. Some of us just take longer to think marriage. I don't think that makes us defective or commitment phobes. Just really careful.

Now the folks who obviously are happier single/unhitched and have no desire to be exclusive with anyone - yeah, with them you just have to see the writing on the wall.

PP here. You misread my post. It was not that he was not ready to "talk" marriage. He had plenty to say about marriage and none of it was good. Women need to really hear a man and take what he is saying seriously. A man who has negative, selfish views on marriage is not going to suddenly become better because you wasted years on him. You might've waited before dumping that guy, but you would've been wasting your own time as many women do. It is almost 10 years later now and that guy is still not married. He has been in multiple long-term relationships with women who have tried everything and driven themselves nuts trying to marry him.

I guess he just wasn't interested in get married period. Nothing you did or could have done. That wasn't what he wanted. Good that you walked when you did.

PP here. To hear him tell it, he wants to get married at "the right time." Now, that maybe true or it might be false. A smart woman will not sit around waiting to find out. He clearly was not going to want to get married on my schedule and in my life, my schedule is what matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are getting some idiotic advice in this thread. You are not married because the guy you have wasted your life with doesn't want to marry you, okay? It's that simple. You should have left as soon as that was clear, instead of compromising your life goal for him.

Before I got married, I dated men who wouldn't quite commit. The key is to throw the garbage in the bin, instead of trying to hold on. One guy I dated for four months and when he still kept his silly little games, I stopped returning his calls. Another guy I really, really liked and he seemed perfect in every way, but he kept saying negative things about marriage and had a history of cheating on his girlfriends. As hard as it was, I dropped him too in a matter of months. The last guy I dated before I met my now DH worked very long hours and used them as an excuse why we didn't see each other all that much. I was really into him and when we saw each other, he was really into me. But he did not give me the attention I needed. I dumped him too after three months. A month later, I met my current husband and he was just wild about me. He would have died on the cross for me and HE begged me to marry him. That's what I'm talking about.

See, it's not that other women don't meet commitmentphobes and other time wasters. It's not that we're prettier or better or give up anal sex (as some repulsive beast suggested earlier in the thread). It is that we know how to move on to the next quickly until we find the guy who fits us and adores us exactly as we need.
pl

I can see dumping someone after only a few months due to incompatibility issues. But dumping them after just a few months because they are not ready to talk marriage yet? No. I'm a woman and that would have been WAY too early for me too. Some of us just take longer to think marriage. I don't think that makes us defective or commitment phobes. Just really careful.

Now the folks who obviously are happier single/unhitched and have no desire to be exclusive with anyone - yeah, with them you just have to see the writing on the wall.

PP here. You misread my post. It was not that he was not ready to "talk" marriage. He had plenty to say about marriage and none of it was good. Women need to really hear a man and take what he is saying seriously. A man who has negative, selfish views on marriage is not going to suddenly become better because you wasted years on him. You might've waited before dumping that guy, but you would've been wasting your own time as many women do. It is almost 10 years later now and that guy is still not married. He has been in multiple long-term relationships with women who have tried everything and driven themselves nuts trying to marry him.

I guess he just wasn't interested in get married period. Nothing you did or could have done. That wasn't what he wanted. Good that you walked when you did.

PP here. To hear him tell it, he wants to get married at "the right time." Now, that maybe true or it might be false. A smart woman will not sit around waiting to find out. He clearly was not going to want to get married on my schedule and in my life, my schedule is what matters.

There was a time when I was not ready to get married to anyone. But "the right time" and the right person came along and it all came together for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
There was a time when I was not ready to get married to anyone. But "the right time" and the right person came along and it all came together for me.

PP here. That's great, but there's no reason why anyone should be sitting around waiting for someone else to be ready. If a woman is at her right time to get married and a man is not his right time, then the answer is for the woman to move on, not for her to wait on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There was a time when I was not ready to get married to anyone. But "the right time" and the right person came along and it all came together for me.

PP here. That's great, but there's no reason why anyone should be sitting around waiting for someone else to be ready. If a woman is at her right time to get married and a man is not his right time, then the answer is for the woman to move on, not for her to wait on him.

I met my husband at church and by definition, everyone was ready to be married. Our church does not believe is sex before marriage, so it made things easy.

[Anonymous]

I'm 28 and my bf of 2 years is 26. I feel like I'm ready for the next step in my life and I want to take I with him. We have talked marriage and kids for at least a year. Also, he keeps saying how he wants to spend his life with me. However he has made no moves to try to propose to me. I'm getting impatient. We're old enough, mature enough and earn enough - what's the wait for?

He says he needs time to plan a proper proposal for me and I should stop nagging him about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are getting some idiotic advice in this thread. You are not married because the guy you have wasted your life with doesn't want to marry you, okay? It's that simple. You should have left as soon as that was clear, instead of compromising your life goal for him.

Before I got married, I dated men who wouldn't quite commit. The key is to throw the garbage in the bin, instead of trying to hold on. One guy I dated for four months and when he still kept his silly little games, I stopped returning his calls. Another guy I really, really liked and he seemed perfect in every way, but he kept saying negative things about marriage and had a history of cheating on his girlfriends. As hard as it was, I dropped him too in a matter of months. The last guy I dated before I met my now DH worked very long hours and used them as an excuse why we didn't see each other all that much. I was really into him and when we saw each other, he was really into me. But he did not give me the attention I needed. I dumped him too after three months. A month later, I met my current husband and he was just wild about me. He would have died on the cross for me and HE begged me to marry him. That's what I'm talking about.

See, it's not that other women don't meet commitmentphobes and other time wasters. It's not that we're prettier or better or give up anal sex (as some repulsive beast suggested earlier in the thread). It is that we know how to move on to the next quickly until we find the guy who fits us and adores us exactly as we need.
pl

I can see dumping someone after only a few months due to incompatibility issues. But dumping them after just a few months because they are not ready to talk marriage yet? No. I'm a woman and that would have been WAY too early for me too. Some of us just take longer to think marriage. I don't think that makes us defective or commitment phobes. Just really careful.

Now the folks who obviously are happier single/unhitched and have no desire to be exclusive with anyone - yeah, with them you just have to see the writing on the wall.

PP here. You misread my post. It was not that he was not ready to "talk" marriage. He had plenty to say about marriage and none of it was good. Women need to really hear a man and take what he is saying seriously. A man who has negative, selfish views on marriage is not going to suddenly become better because you wasted years on him. You might've waited before dumping that guy, but you would've been wasting your own time as many women do. It is almost 10 years later now and that guy is still not married. He has been in multiple long-term relationships with women who have tried everything and driven themselves nuts trying to marry him.

This is probably the most emotionally healthy person who has posted on this thread. Listen to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 28 and my bf of 2 years is 26. I feel like I'm ready for the next step in my life and I want to take I with him. We have talked marriage and kids for at least a year. Also, he keeps saying how he wants to spend his life with me. However he has made no moves to try to propose to me. I'm getting impatient. We're old enough, mature enough and earn enough - what's the wait for?

He says he needs time to plan a proper proposal for me and I should stop nagging him about it.

Time to plan a proper proposal is nonsense. It takes about half a day to pick a proper time and place if it's something you want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 28 and my bf of 2 years is 26. I feel like I'm ready for the next step in my life and I want to take I with him. We have talked marriage and kids for at least a year. Also, he keeps saying how he wants to spend his life with me. However he has made no moves to try to propose to me. I'm getting impatient. We're old enough, mature enough and earn enough - what's the wait for?

He says he needs time to plan a proper proposal for me and I should stop nagging him about it.

Time to plan a proper proposal is nonsense. It takes about half a day to pick a proper time and place if it's something you want to do.

I talked to him on New Years this year about how I'd like for us to get engaged this year. He said okay. Now I think he's waiting until December to propose. I wish he'd do it sooner so that I can be done with this miserable waiting period. People poorer than us and younger than us have proposed and are getting married this year. So I just feel like he doesn't love me enough to seal the deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 28 and my bf of 2 years is 26. I feel like I'm ready for the next step in my life and I want to take I with him. We have talked marriage and kids for at least a year. Also, he keeps saying how he wants to spend his life with me. However he has made no moves to try to propose to me. I'm getting impatient. We're old enough, mature enough and earn enough - what's the wait for?

He says he needs time to plan a proper proposal for me and I should stop nagging him about it.

Time to plan a proper proposal is nonsense. It takes about half a day to pick a proper time and place if it's something you want to do.

I talked to him on New Years this year about how I'd like for us to get engaged this year. He said okay. Now I think he's waiting until December to propose. I wish he'd do it sooner so that I can be done with this miserable waiting period. People poorer than us and younger than us have proposed and are getting married this year. So I just feel like he doesn't love me enough to seal the deal.

He is dragging his feet on marrying you because he does not want to marry you. How is this not clear to you? You might be able to browbeat a ring and wedding out of him, but good luck with that marriage.