Guys... What makes you put s ring on it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women who don't give Me the kind of sex I want would never be marriage material. I won't play that lottery.

That said, some women stop doing shit as soon as marriage happens. Once you've lived that, the next woman who say, "No honey, I won't stop doing that after marriage" will just seem like a statistic.

But I give sex. I've never refused. I put out, and by all accounts give stellar "benefits".

So the fact I clean, do laundry, etc. before marriage penalizes me because I might stop later?

If you're putting out, doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc., then you're marriage material. If you're with a guy that doesn't appreciate that in these times, you're with the wrong guy.

[Anonymous]

Don't know if you're the same OP of this thread, but it has some similar discussions

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/472144.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Age: On the brink of 40. In what's a "happy" long term relationship. But he'lll never marry me, and I know that.

Yes, part of my sadness is partly hitting a milestone birthday.

I just wonder what makes some women the marrying type, and others not. I've been had others before who didn't ask me either. I have a friend who has been married 3 times, and she's

Why won't he ever marry you? Does he have some kind of opposition to marriage? If so, do you trust him that you're in a committed, life-long relationship anyway? Or does he believe in marriage, but it's always something for later on down the road, and you get the sense that he's not 100% committed to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry.. "Friend" who has been married 3 times, and she's difficult. Co-worker who is about to be on her fourth... Doesn't seem to be any shining star either. She's a negative, miserable human being and has had almost 4 husbands. Her new partner can't wait to marry her.

I guess I'm the milk giving cow. And it just sucks.

Do you have any information that the friend and coworker aren't "milk giving cows"? They don't have sex before marriage, don't live with someone before marriage and cook and clean, or in some way are holding out on something until after marriage? Maybe the difficult friend is just extremely blunt and honest, with herself and others, and the negative coworker is too, and that is part of their appeal. I don't think you should necessarily envy them being married so many times, by the way. And the men may leave some qualities to be desired.

[Anonymous]

OP so you dated him for a while and he married the next girl?

I think guys want to marry when they get to a certain age or spot in their life and will marry the girl they are with at that time. OR If they think they can date you forever they will. I told my now DH of 10 years when we were dating about 3 months in the relationship that he needed to know if he wanted to marry me or not after the first year of dating. He proposed to me after 6 months. Before me he was dating someone for 5 years.

Don't try so hard OP. The guy has to be right for you and vise versa. I also agree with the PP about sex and guys wanting to marry what kind of sex they like. This plays a large part of things as well.

[Anonymous]

Seven men asked me to marry them before I was 26 and I was foolishly insulted. Wasn't I fun? Why did they all want to lock me down and put me in a kitchen. This was my thinking then. I stopped dating for a long while and when I got back out there NO ONE was interested in a serious relationship. Now, in my 40s, I'm back to seeming "wifely." What changed? I haven't the faintest idea.

Maybe it was confidence? I was pretty damn fearless as I entered adulthood. Same now that I'm in my 40s. I didn't care then and I most certainly don't care about marriage now. Maybe that's what men picked up on, what got them interested? When I was open to a serious relationship and marriage, it eluded me something awful. It was only when I fiercely guarded against being locked down that I received that kind of attention.

Dunno.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women who don't give Me the kind of sex I want would never be marriage material. I won't play that lottery.

That said, some women stop doing shit as soon as marriage happens. Once you've lived that, the next woman who say, "No honey, I won't stop doing that after marriage" will just seem like a statistic.

What kind of sex are you looking for? Maybe your type of kink is not marriage material for a woman?

[Anonymous]

Look and carry yourself as much like a playboy playmate as you can. Guys will kill themselves to lock you down .

[Anonymous]

I think it's jarring to a guy to lose a longtime relationship. When he finds someone else he grabs and holds on - "puts a ring on it".

When you are young and have all the time in the world to make these big decisions (like marriage, kids) it's easy to just put that off and continue to live in the moment and do what is making you happy today. And there is a certain wisdom to establishing your own self first before legally committing to another. Problems arise when one person wants to set things in stone before the other thinks it's necessary. What was once a source of happiness becomes a source of pressure/unhappiness/whining/complaining. It becomes easy to disengage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex matters.

Guy spends close to decade with woman who won't give oral or anal or whatever and he tries to convince himself that he loves her (and might actually love her), but is not willing to never have oral and anal... A very real reason to not marry a woman. Sorry.

Then he gets with th next woman who is an oral/anal fiend and he marries her to keep that sex (which doesn't always work out either).

But yeah, no... No ring for the "only vaginal sex" women, as far as I'm concerned.

Damn, then why do all these foolish women agree to marry men who can't even make them orgasm?! High standards, PP, since I'm betting from your immature tone that you don't know shit about how to make a woman feel good.

And thus, an example of a woman who is so worried about her own pleasure, she ignores the pleasure of Men. Or, in other words, a woman who wouldn't get a ring (except by a henpecked male who forgoes his pleasure for hers).

[Anonymous]

You should get to know my dad. He's about to walk down the aisle with his fourth. I'm sure if you got to know him, he'd propose to you too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should get to know my dad. He's about to walk down the aisle with his fourth. I'm sure if you got to know him, he'd propose to you too.

Ha!!

[Anonymous]

Don't blame yourself, except for the fact that you stayed too long. Set some boundaries and stick to them. If you want to get married be honest and love yourself enough to let him know. I mean life is moving on... Men will do whatever you allow them to do for as long as you allow them to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex matters.

Guy spends close to decade with woman who won't give oral or anal or whatever and he tries to convince himself that he loves her (and might actually love her), but is not willing to never have oral and anal... A very real reason to not marry a woman. Sorry.

Then he gets with th next woman who is an oral/anal fiend and he marries her to keep that sex (which doesn't always work out either).

But yeah, no... No ring for the "only vaginal sex" women, as far as I'm concerned.

Damn, then why do all these foolish women agree to marry men who can't even make them orgasm?! High standards, PP, since I'm betting from your immature tone that you don't know shit about how to make a woman feel good.

And thus, an example of a woman who is so worried about her own pleasure, she ignores the pleasure of Men. Or, in other words, a woman who wouldn't get a ring (except by a henpecked male who forgoes his pleasure for hers).

Men plural?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP so you dated him for a while and he married the next girl?

I think guys want to marry when they get to a certain age or spot in their life and will marry the girl they are with at that time. OR If they think they can date you forever they will. I told my now DH of 10 years when we were dating about 3 months in the relationship that he needed to know if he wanted to marry me or not after the first year of dating. He proposed to me after 6 months. Before me he was dating someone for 5 years.

Don't try so hard OP. The guy has to be right for you and vise versa. I also agree with the PP about sex and guys wanting to marry what kind of sex they like. This plays a large part of things as well.

Agree with this post at least in part. I dated for marriage and only dated men who did the same. That narrowed the pool considerably of course. But I wanted marriage and family and did not want to waste my time with men who didn't share my priorities, no matter how fun they might be. And I did not move in with my now-husband until we were engaged.