When DH and I were dating we aborted a baby, now we are married and having our first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You were reckless, God have mercy on your family and soul

My husband changed his whole stance on abortion after our children (a fiance prior aborted a child of theirs). He didn't really care at the time. Now he hates her for doing that. He didn't feel that way until our first child was 18 months or so.

Wow. i didn't really care one way or another but once I actually went through a pregnancy, I became vehemently pro-choice.

Same. Except I had always been pro-choice. Pregnancy just made me more passionate about it.

It is opposite for me. I was very pro choice. Then saw my ultrasound at 8 weeks pregnant and became pro life instantly.

ditto. That is a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH really wanted kids and we got pregnant earlier than expected, literally honeymoon baby. I was gunning for a big promotion at work and the timing would very possibly have killed my career, so I wanted to end the pregnancy. He wanted the baby but was supportive.

We are now expecting #2 and the topic has honestly never come up. Neither of us resents it, although we are a few years older as parents than we would have been. I think now that we are happy with children it was the right decision and we are so happy there would be no value on dwelling on that time. I suppose had things not worked out (secondary infertility) it might have been harder but that is not the case for you.

I wouldn't dredge up the issue unless you think there is something to discuss. Timing your reproduction is a major part of modern life and is largely a good thing for familiies (in my opinion and it appears in yours too). Life isn't perfect but this is really not a problem in the scheme of things. Save your worries for your current pregnancy and hopefully, future child.

Sorry, to be clear, we now have one child (2) and are expecting #2 shortly. We've been married 7 years or so.

So you aborted your first child for a job promotion?

She did it for a promotion.

Holy shit, I knew that this area was full of selfish and self absorbed people but this is INSANE.

I can only imagine what crap parents you all make -- oh, let's find a nanny to raise our children and make sure there are plenty of sitters for the weekend and when I need to do my girl's weekends every month to get away from the hour or so a day I spend with my adorable children.



No. She did it so her future children could have better lives, supported by her career.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP -

The exact same thing happened to me. My then boyfriend and I got pregnant when I was 24 and we chose to have an abortion. It was a tough decision, but we couldn't have forseen that we would stay together and eventually marry.

We had a child together last year and talked about it a bit. I was also worried my husband would be angry or resentful, but he said everything he felt was laid out on that day. (I opted for a medical since it was early on, so most of the abortion happened at home.)

We both felt a little twinge of "what if" but that situation was too hard to call. I don't think we would have made it as a couple with the pressure of a child and I don't think we would have been in the position we are in life if we had chosen differently.

If you are concerned, talk to him about his feelings. Don't assume. Men need support after abortion as well and you really don't know what he is feeling.

And don't feel like you have to feel a certain way about it either. You can feel regret and sadness and relief and contentment all at the same time. For me, I terminated my pregnancy at 11 and a half weeks. I had my son 8 years later - I felt him move for the first time at 17 weeks.

Having gone through a pregnancy, I don't think I would want to have another abortion. (But who knows really?) But then again, if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change my decision.

[Anonymous]

It's the kind of thing that's so messed up you try not to think about it too much . You definately shouldn't talk about it much it doesn't lead anywhere good or healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A life is a life. You chose to take one for your own priorities which is a shame. You may want to consider counseling for the negative thinking pattern regarding your husband's perceived reaction. Wishing you all happiness with your new addition.

The would-be parents lives don't count for anything? Quality of life doesn't matter? A life is a life until that baby needs to eat and the parents cant take care of it; then everybody gets really quiet.

That's why there's adoption. It's true accountability and not for one's own self interest, which so many of us lack.

Well said. Seriously. Why is our society so screwed up that a woman feels like if she is pregnant she either has to abort or keep? We should have a campaign to support and adopt. It's a life. Everything about that baby is created when sperm meets egg and successfully implants. If women didn't feel the stigma of it. Although, I had one former friends who did not want to "ruin" her body yet. ugh.

If this were true, there would be no need for 40 weeks of gestation. Nor would it matter one bit if the mother drank or exercised or took prenatal vitamins or did drugs. It's a potential life, but it's not a person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A life is a life. You chose to take one for your own priorities which is a shame. You may want to consider counseling for the negative thinking pattern regarding your husband's perceived reaction. Wishing you all happiness with your new addition.

The would-be parents lives don't count for anything? Quality of life doesn't matter? A life is a life until that baby needs to eat and the parents cant take care of it; then everybody gets really quiet.

That's why there's adoption. It's true accountability and not for one's own self interest, which so many of us lack.

Well said. Seriously. Why is our society so screwed up that a woman feels like if she is pregnant she either has to abort or keep? We should have a campaign to support and adopt. It's a life. Everything about that baby is created when sperm meets egg and successfully implants. If women didn't feel the stigma of it. Although, I had one former friends who did not want to "ruin" her body yet. ugh.

Have you surrendered a baby for adoption yourself? If not, just shut the fuck up. Adoption is not the rainbows and roses you think it is. My mom gave up a child for adoption before she met my dad and every single day of her life from then to now she has cried. She worries about sister constantly and feels guilty every day. I, on the other hand, chose to terminate a pregnancy that I did not feel equipped to continue. I love babies and I'm sorry that the pregnancy did not happen at a time when I could have parented one well, but I have never regretted the choice I made. I cried about the unintended pregnancy but I have never cried about ending it. 22 years later I have a baby I adore and I nearly died from pre-eclampsia before his birth, which has had (so far) permanent effects on my body. I would not trade him for the works but I don't think any woman should be forced to risk her life to birth a child against her will. I wish that I could have had another child or two, but I have never regretted the termination of my first pregnancy.

Adoption is not just "selfless". For some people, it is ripping off a part of themselves and the wound never, ever heals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A life is a life. You chose to take one for your own priorities which is a shame. You may want to consider counseling for the negative thinking pattern regarding your husband's perceived reaction. Wishing you all happiness with your new addition.

The would-be parents lives don't count for anything? Quality of life doesn't matter? A life is a life until that baby needs to eat and the parents cant take care of it; then everybody gets really quiet.

That's why there's adoption. It's true accountability and not for one's own self interest, which so many of us lack.

Well said. Seriously. Why is our society so screwed up that a woman feels like if she is pregnant she either has to abort or keep? We should have a campaign to support and adopt. It's a life. Everything about that baby is created when sperm meets egg and successfully implants. If women didn't feel the stigma of it. Although, I had one former friends who did not want to "ruin" her body yet. ugh.

Have you surrendered a baby for adoption yourself? If not, just shut the fuck up. Adoption is not the rainbows and roses you think it is. My mom gave up a child for adoption before she met my dad and every single day of her life from then to now she has cried. She worries about sister constantly and feels guilty every day. I, on the other hand, chose to terminate a pregnancy that I did not feel equipped to continue. I love babies and I'm sorry that the pregnancy did not happen at a time when I could have parented one well, but I have never regretted the choice I made. I cried about the unintended pregnancy but I have never cried about ending it. 22 years later I have a baby I adore and I nearly died from pre-eclampsia before his birth, which has had (so far) permanent effects on my body. I would not trade him for the works but I don't think any woman should be forced to risk her life to birth a child against her will. I wish that I could have had another child or two, but I have never regretted the termination of my first pregnancy.

Adoption is not just "selfless". For some people, it is ripping off a part of themselves and the wound never, ever heals.

Very well said PP

[Anonymous]

Stop creating a problem where there is none.

I had an abortion while DH and I were dating. When we got pregnant after we were married the abortion never came up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop creating a problem where there is none.

I had an abortion while DH and I were dating. When we got pregnant after we were married the abortion never came up.

Best to keep deeply buried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A life is a life. You chose to take one for your own priorities which is a shame. You may want to consider counseling for the negative thinking pattern regarding your husband's perceived reaction. Wishing you all happiness with your new addition.

The would-be parents lives don't count for anything? Quality of life doesn't matter? A life is a life until that baby needs to eat and the parents cant take care of it; then everybody gets really quiet.

That's why there's adoption. It's true accountability and not for one's own self interest, which so many of us lack.

Well said. Seriously. Why is our society so screwed up that a woman feels like if she is pregnant she either has to abort or keep? We should have a campaign to support and adopt. It's a life. Everything about that baby is created when sperm meets egg and successfully implants. If women didn't feel the stigma of it. Although, I had one former friends who did not want to "ruin" her body yet. ugh.

Have you surrendered a baby for adoption yourself? If not, just shut the fuck up. Adoption is not the rainbows and roses you think it is. My mom gave up a child for adoption before she met my dad and every single day of her life from then to now she has cried. She worries about sister constantly and feels guilty every day. I, on the other hand, chose to terminate a pregnancy that I did not feel equipped to continue. I love babies and I'm sorry that the pregnancy did not happen at a time when I could have parented one well, but I have never regretted the choice I made. I cried about the unintended pregnancy but I have never cried about ending it. 22 years later I have a baby I adore and I nearly died from pre-eclampsia before his birth, which has had (so far) permanent effects on my body. I would not trade him for the works but I don't think any woman should be forced to risk her life to birth a child against her will. I wish that I could have had another child or two, but I have never regretted the termination of my first pregnancy.

Adoption is not just "selfless". For some people, it is ripping off a part of themselves and the wound never, ever heals.

Very well said PP

As a matter of fact I did. When in college. My parents were minimally supportive on the subject. It was an open adoption and my child lives in Calf with an amazing family. She is an amazing girl. I am glad that I did not kill/murder her. Yes, it was a tough period but it was 10 months. It is done.

Have you ever seen what an 11 week old baby does when an abortion is being performed? It tries to save itself. It is a person. I am sorry you all are so selfish.

As for the mothers talking about hard pregnancies and risks - it is pregnancy. Women and babies all the time die. It is a factor. Something not to be taken lightly.

I cringe at the realization that we fight for rights but don't take responsibility for our own bodies. If you don't want a child with a particular man then don't have sex with him. Or use multiple forms of birth control. Rarely is the abortion performed due to contraception failure. So murder of a baby because of selfish acts seems so reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A life is a life. You chose to take one for your own priorities which is a shame. You may want to consider counseling for the negative thinking pattern regarding your husband's perceived reaction. Wishing you all happiness with your new addition.

The would-be parents lives don't count for anything? Quality of life doesn't matter? A life is a life until that baby needs to eat and the parents cant take care of it; then everybody gets really quiet.

That's why there's adoption. It's true accountability and not for one's own self interest, which so many of us lack.

Well said. Seriously. Why is our society so screwed up that a woman feels like if she is pregnant she either has to abort or keep? We should have a campaign to support and adopt. It's a life. Everything about that baby is created when sperm meets egg and successfully implants. If women didn't feel the stigma of it. Although, I had one former friends who did not want to "ruin" her body yet. ugh.

Have you surrendered a baby for adoption yourself? If not, just shut the fuck up. Adoption is not the rainbows and roses you think it is. My mom gave up a child for adoption before she met my dad and every single day of her life from then to now she has cried. She worries about sister constantly and feels guilty every day. I, on the other hand, chose to terminate a pregnancy that I did not feel equipped to continue. I love babies and I'm sorry that the pregnancy did not happen at a time when I could have parented one well, but I have never regretted the choice I made. I cried about the unintended pregnancy but I have never cried about ending it. 22 years later I have a baby I adore and I nearly died from pre-eclampsia before his birth, which has had (so far) permanent effects on my body. I would not trade him for the works but I don't think any woman should be forced to risk her life to birth a child against her will. I wish that I could have had another child or two, but I have never regretted the termination of my first pregnancy.

Adoption is not just "selfless". For some people, it is ripping off a part of themselves and the wound never, ever heals.

But killing an innocent child who never hurt a soul is very selfless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A life is a life. You chose to take one for your own priorities which is a shame. You may want to consider counseling for the negative thinking pattern regarding your husband's perceived reaction. Wishing you all happiness with your new addition.

The would-be parents lives don't count for anything? Quality of life doesn't matter? A life is a life until that baby needs to eat and the parents cant take care of it; then everybody gets really quiet.

That's why there's adoption. It's true accountability and not for one's own self interest, which so many of us lack.

Well said. Seriously. Why is our society so screwed up that a woman feels like if she is pregnant she either has to abort or keep? We should have a campaign to support and adopt. It's a life. Everything about that baby is created when sperm meets egg and successfully implants. If women didn't feel the stigma of it. Although, I had one former friends who did not want to "ruin" her body yet. ugh.

Have you surrendered a baby for adoption yourself? If not, just shut the fuck up. Adoption is not the rainbows and roses you think it is. My mom gave up a child for adoption before she met my dad and every single day of her life from then to now she has cried. She worries about sister constantly and feels guilty every day. I, on the other hand, chose to terminate a pregnancy that I did not feel equipped to continue. I love babies and I'm sorry that the pregnancy did not happen at a time when I could have parented one well, but I have never regretted the choice I made. I cried about the unintended pregnancy but I have never cried about ending it. 22 years later I have a baby I adore and I nearly died from pre-eclampsia before his birth, which has had (so far) permanent effects on my body. I would not trade him for the works but I don't think any woman should be forced to risk her life to birth a child against her will. I wish that I could have had another child or two, but I have never regretted the termination of my first pregnancy.

Adoption is not just "selfless". For some people, it is ripping off a part of themselves and the wound never, ever heals.

Very well said PP

As a matter of fact I did. When in college. My parents were minimally supportive on the subject. It was an open adoption and my child lives in Calf with an amazing family. She is an amazing girl. I am glad that I did not kill/murder her. Yes, it was a tough period but it was 10 months. It is done.

Have you ever seen what an 11 week old baby does when an abortion is being performed? It tries to save itself. It is a person. I am sorry you all are so selfish.

As for the mothers talking about hard pregnancies and risks - it is pregnancy. Women and babies all the time die. It is a factor. Something not to be taken lightly.

I cringe at the realization that we fight for rights but don't take responsibility for our own bodies. If you don't want a child with a particular man then don't have sex with him. Or use multiple forms of birth control. Rarely is the abortion performed due to contraception failure. So murder of a baby because of selfish acts seems so reasonable.

It doesn't have a brain or higher cognitive functions. It isn't a person. It is an irritable bundle of tissue that reacts to stimulus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A life is a life. You chose to take one for your own priorities which is a shame. You may want to consider counseling for the negative thinking pattern regarding your husband's perceived reaction. Wishing you all happiness with your new addition.

The would-be parents lives don't count for anything? Quality of life doesn't matter? A life is a life until that baby needs to eat and the parents cant take care of it; then everybody gets really quiet.

That's why there's adoption. It's true accountability and not for one's own self interest, which so many of us lack.

Well said. Seriously. Why is our society so screwed up that a woman feels like if she is pregnant she either has to abort or keep? We should have a campaign to support and adopt. It's a life. Everything about that baby is created when sperm meets egg and successfully implants. If women didn't feel the stigma of it. Although, I had one former friends who did not want to "ruin" her body yet. ugh.

Have you surrendered a baby for adoption yourself? If not, just shut the fuck up. Adoption is not the rainbows and roses you think it is. My mom gave up a child for adoption before she met my dad and every single day of her life from then to now she has cried. She worries about sister constantly and feels guilty every day. I, on the other hand, chose to terminate a pregnancy that I did not feel equipped to continue. I love babies and I'm sorry that the pregnancy did not happen at a time when I could have parented one well, but I have never regretted the choice I made. I cried about the unintended pregnancy but I have never cried about ending it. 22 years later I have a baby I adore and I nearly died from pre-eclampsia before his birth, which has had (so far) permanent effects on my body. I would not trade him for the works but I don't think any woman should be forced to risk her life to birth a child against her will. I wish that I could have had another child or two, but I have never regretted the termination of my first pregnancy.

Adoption is not just "selfless". For some people, it is ripping off a part of themselves and the wound never, ever heals.

Very well said PP

As a matter of fact I did. When in college. My parents were minimally supportive on the subject. It was an open adoption and my child lives in Calf with an amazing family. She is an amazing girl. I am glad that I did not kill/murder her. Yes, it was a tough period but it was 10 months. It is done.

Have you ever seen what an 11 week old baby does when an abortion is being performed? It tries to save itself. It is a person. I am sorry you all are so selfish.

As for the mothers talking about hard pregnancies and risks - it is pregnancy. Women and babies all the time die. It is a factor. Something not to be taken lightly.

I cringe at the realization that we fight for rights but don't take responsibility for our own bodies. If you don't want a child with a particular man then don't have sex with him. Or use multiple forms of birth control. Rarely is the abortion performed due to contraception failure. So murder of a baby because of selfish acts seems so reasonable.

I am glad that you are happy with your choice. Other women make choose abortion because it is the right choice for them. Pregnancy, labor and delivery are dangerous. Women get hurt or dead during them, even if the pregnancy itself is healthy well past the point of allowable termination. That is a risk that women shouldn't have to take unless they choose to take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A life is a life. You chose to take one for your own priorities which is a shame. You may want to consider counseling for the negative thinking pattern regarding your husband's perceived reaction. Wishing you all happiness with your new addition.

The would-be parents lives don't count for anything? Quality of life doesn't matter? A life is a life until that baby needs to eat and the parents cant take care of it; then everybody gets really quiet.

That's why there's adoption. It's true accountability and not for one's own self interest, which so many of us lack.

Well said. Seriously. Why is our society so screwed up that a woman feels like if she is pregnant she either has to abort or keep? We should have a campaign to support and adopt. It's a life. Everything about that baby is created when sperm meets egg and successfully implants. If women didn't feel the stigma of it. Although, I had one former friends who did not want to "ruin" her body yet. ugh.

Have you surrendered a baby for adoption yourself? If not, just shut the fuck up. Adoption is not the rainbows and roses you think it is. My mom gave up a child for adoption before she met my dad and every single day of her life from then to now she has cried. She worries about sister constantly and feels guilty every day. I, on the other hand, chose to terminate a pregnancy that I did not feel equipped to continue. I love babies and I'm sorry that the pregnancy did not happen at a time when I could have parented one well, but I have never regretted the choice I made. I cried about the unintended pregnancy but I have never cried about ending it. 22 years later I have a baby I adore and I nearly died from pre-eclampsia before his birth, which has had (so far) permanent effects on my body. I would not trade him for the works but I don't think any woman should be forced to risk her life to birth a child against her will. I wish that I could have had another child or two, but I have never regretted the termination of my first pregnancy.

Adoption is not just "selfless". For some people, it is ripping off a part of themselves and the wound never, ever heals.

Very well said PP

As a matter of fact I did. When in college. My parents were minimally supportive on the subject. It was an open adoption and my child lives in Calf with an amazing family. She is an amazing girl. I am glad that I did not kill/murder her. Yes, it was a tough period but it was 10 months. It is done.

Have you ever seen what an 11 week old baby does when an abortion is being performed? It tries to save itself. It is a person. I am sorry you all are so selfish.

As for the mothers talking about hard pregnancies and risks - it is pregnancy. Women and babies all the time die. It is a factor. Something not to be taken lightly.

I cringe at the realization that we fight for rights but don't take responsibility for our own bodies. If you don't want a child with a particular man then don't have sex with him. Or use multiple forms of birth control. Rarely is the abortion performed due to contraception failure. So murder of a baby because of selfish acts seems so reasonable.

I agree with this. But you are never going to convince these women of this. They need to sleep at night. If they looked at their babies in front of them and realized that they chose to kill one they would not be able to live with themselves. So they say things like "potential life" or the baby would not have had a good existence at the time, etc. They are not strong people, nor selfless.

But they have to believe these things. If it was really the "right" choice it would not be so shameful. It would not be one of those things that is just never brought up again. In the end, they need to sleep at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A life is a life. You chose to take one for your own priorities which is a shame. You may want to consider counseling for the negative thinking pattern regarding your husband's perceived reaction. Wishing you all happiness with your new addition.

The would-be parents lives don't count for anything? Quality of life doesn't matter? A life is a life until that baby needs to eat and the parents cant take care of it; then everybody gets really quiet.

That's why there's adoption. It's true accountability and not for one's own self interest, which so many of us lack.

Well said. Seriously. Why is our society so screwed up that a woman feels like if she is pregnant she either has to abort or keep? We should have a campaign to support and adopt. It's a life. Everything about that baby is created when sperm meets egg and successfully implants. If women didn't feel the stigma of it. Although, I had one former friends who did not want to "ruin" her body yet. ugh.

Have you surrendered a baby for adoption yourself? If not, just shut the fuck up. Adoption is not the rainbows and roses you think it is. My mom gave up a child for adoption before she met my dad and every single day of her life from then to now she has cried. She worries about sister constantly and feels guilty every day. I, on the other hand, chose to terminate a pregnancy that I did not feel equipped to continue. I love babies and I'm sorry that the pregnancy did not happen at a time when I could have parented one well, but I have never regretted the choice I made. I cried about the unintended pregnancy but I have never cried about ending it. 22 years later I have a baby I adore and I nearly died from pre-eclampsia before his birth, which has had (so far) permanent effects on my body. I would not trade him for the works but I don't think any woman should be forced to risk her life to birth a child against her will. I wish that I could have had another child or two, but I have never regretted the termination of my first pregnancy.

Adoption is not just "selfless". For some people, it is ripping off a part of themselves and the wound never, ever heals.

Very well said PP

As a matter of fact I did. When in college. My parents were minimally supportive on the subject. It was an open adoption and my child lives in Calf with an amazing family. She is an amazing girl. I am glad that I did not kill/murder her. Yes, it was a tough period but it was 10 months. It is done.

Have you ever seen what an 11 week old baby does when an abortion is being performed? It tries to save itself. It is a person. I am sorry you all are so selfish.

As for the mothers talking about hard pregnancies and risks - it is pregnancy. Women and babies all the time die. It is a factor. Something not to be taken lightly.

I cringe at the realization that we fight for rights but don't take responsibility for our own bodies. If you don't want a child with a particular man then don't have sex with him. Or use multiple forms of birth control. Rarely is the abortion performed due to contraception failure. So murder of a baby because of selfish acts seems so reasonable.

It doesn't have a brain or higher cognitive functions. It isn't a person. It is an irritable bundle of tissue that reacts to stimulus.

and with every genetic/physical attribute created and mapped when sperm met egg - eyes, hair, laugh, brain, smile... It is a person. But unfortunately an inconvenience for its host and since it cannot live on its own it will be killed.