Long-term unemployment; Mild case of affluenza/Keeping up with the Jonses-itis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reality check: your late 20s and early 30s are prime earning years.

For men your prime earning years are your mid 40s to mid 50s. But as a woman I can understand why you have that limited perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More than anything else you just sound like you've got a chip on your shoulder.

OP here - The affluence I see around here does give me a chip on my shoulder. I'm not from this area, and it blows my mind.

Get over it. Move on, support your family.

There will always be people who have more than you. So what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here - In terms of school I mean something more vocational like radiology, nursing, or welding. Getting a Master's would just pile M.ore S.hit onto the B.ull S.hit I already have. I would cash flow it, no debt.

You don't want to hear this, but you are at a critical moment in your life, which is spiraling out of control. You're about to anchor yourself to this toxic, abusive, horrible woman both financially and emotionally for the rest of your life. If you continue to be married to your wife, your life will be destroyed. Can you comprehend this?

I would NEVER date a woman with a checkered past like your wife's and THIS IS WHY. The issue here is not your unemployment, which it is partially. This is about flushing your life down the toilet.

Do not take my words lightly. You can save your life right now if you make good decisions, and the first one to make is divorcing your wife. You don't want to hear it, but it's the only way for you to re-take control of your life.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If there is one thing that I have learned from DCUM, it is that deep-down, despite all the feminist progress, women are still largely money-grubbing hoes who judge men mostly by their income.

OP, if you don't like being judged for not having a job, then go gay and marry an old sugar daddy. That's just the way it goes with women.

I agree, despite the selectivity . In the morning they argue about equality of the sexes and equal pay, but by the evening, they are frustrated if the roles have switched and they have a stay at home husband...smh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it very difficult not to be envious of all the wealth around us in this area. But that only happens when I look in one direction. If I look behind me, I see a lot of poverty, extreme, horrible poverty and everything in between. Most of the world is not doing very well. Most people are struggling to keep their lives together, living paycheck to paycheck and barely making it. Lots of people are NOT making it. Look around, and you will see these people everywhere. And there are a lot more of them than the very wealthy folk that populate your's and your wife's minds.

My DH struggled for a very long time to find a job, and he wasn't even unemployed. In certain fields, there are not any jobs, and when there are openings, there are hundreds of applicants, so employers can be extremely picky and choose the applicant with exactly the experience they want, leaving the other 499 well-qualified applicants out in the cold.

OP knows he needs a job. He's taking steps to find one, and to train for a more lucrative position. What he needs now is to figure out how to get his wife to stop comparing their situation to others. Of course what she's doing is complaining about OP's lack of a job, which he hates. There's not much he can do about that except find work, and perhaps the complaining will stop.

OP, I suggest that you simply ignore your wife's negative comments. Don't argue, just ignore. And say positive things about your lives together right now. Keep it to the facts, and don't mention anyone else. It's so easy to get caught up in your wife's complaining if you have a chip on your shoulder as well, but if you want her b**ching to stop, you've got to change your behavior right now.

Good luck finding work, OP. It sounds like you have a plan and are moving in the right direction. I hope you find work you enjoy.

Ignore?! Divorce solves a lifetime of disaster.

Good luck to OP if he doesn't spot the signs early. If I were in his shoe, I would be single by daylight, and go find me a more stable partner who sees beyond my material potential, and appreciates me for who I am as a person!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Ignore?! Divorce solves a lifetime of disaster.

Good luck to OP if he doesn't spot the signs early. If I were in his shoe, I would be single by daylight, and go find me a more stable partner who sees beyond my material potential, and appreciates me for who I am as a person!

Bingo.

[Anonymous]

OP just proves that women deep down find men to be nothing more than ATMs and a vehicle for their own selfish desires and wants.

[Anonymous]

Please OP is the freeloader. It's the wife who should be running.

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the people who say divorce your wife. That will not help. Talk to her. Insist that she go to counseling with you, even if she doesn't see the point.

Nowhere have I seen it indicated that she is abusive, toxic or horrible. Negative and maybe materialistic, but I don't think it's unreasonable to be concerned if your spouse is out of work for more than a year. I also don't see anything wrong with being upset that the life you wanted, worked for and planned for is out of reach due to such unemployment. The hing that makes it unreasonable is how you respond to those things.

Oh and poster who says that his problem is a wife whose family is messed up, you have no idea what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here - In terms of school I mean something more vocational like radiology, nursing, or welding. Getting a Master's would just pile M.ore S.hit onto the B.ull S.hit I already have. I would cash flow it, no debt.

You don't want to hear this, but you are at a critical moment in your life, which is spiraling out of control. You're about to anchor yourself to this toxic, abusive, horrible woman both financially and emotionally for the rest of your life. If you continue to be married to your wife, your life will be destroyed. Can you comprehend this?

I would NEVER date a woman with a checkered past like your wife's and THIS IS WHY. The issue here is not your unemployment, which it is partially. This is about flushing your life down the toilet.

Do not take my words lightly. You can save your life right now if you make good decisions, and the first one to make is divorcing your wife. You don't want to hear it, but it's the only way for you to re-take control of your life.

Good luck.

A checkered past because her father was a deadbeat? That's one of the most ridiculous and sexist things I've ever heard. Yes she sounds like she might have gotten caught up in the DC tendency to compare lifestyles, but that can be addressed.

My dad was a deadbeat and we haven't spoken in years. Guess my past is checkered too. Never mind that I'm a functional adult with several degrees, a good job, a strong marriage, and an adorable child. Kids shouldn't be punished or judged for the sins of their parents. Yes maybe those of us from broken homes may have some extra things to work through, but we can overcome it. I will just add that growing up without a dad was really sad and jerks like you don't need to make us feel less than.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there is one thing that I have learned from DCUM, it is that deep-down, despite all the feminist progress, women are still largely money-grubbing hoes who judge men mostly by their income.

OP, if you don't like being judged for not having a job, then go gay and marry an old sugar daddy. That's just the way it goes with women.

I agree, despite the selectivity . In the morning they argue about equality of the sexes and equal pay, but by the evening, they are frustrated if the roles have switched and they have a stay at home husband...smh

Equal pay for the same work.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
A checkered past because her father was a deadbeat? That's one of the most ridiculous and sexist things I've ever heard. Yes she sounds like she might have gotten caught up in the DC tendency to compare lifestyles, but that can be addressed.

My dad was a deadbeat and we haven't spoken in years. Guess my past is checkered too. Never mind that I'm a functional adult with several degrees, a good job, a strong marriage, and an adorable child. Kids shouldn't be punished or judged for the sins of their parents. Yes maybe those of us from broken homes may have some extra things to work through, but we can overcome it. I will just add that growing up without a dad was really sad and jerks like you don't need to make us feel less than.

Yeah, you forgot the part that included her parents (nasty divorce; mom remarried a drunk)being fucking nuts and putting his wife through 18 years of emotional abuse. Major red flags.

I'd pump and dump a woman like that, but I'd NEVER procreate with her. And I don't give a shit about your lovey dovey "Kids shouldn't be punished or judged for the sins of their parents." Too fucking bad, I do and they deserve it. Past heredity performance is a great indicator of future results.

Pull your head out of your ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A checkered past because her father was a deadbeat? That's one of the most ridiculous and sexist things I've ever heard. Yes she sounds like she might have gotten caught up in the DC tendency to compare lifestyles, but that can be addressed.

My dad was a deadbeat and we haven't spoken in years. Guess my past is checkered too. Never mind that I'm a functional adult with several degrees, a good job, a strong marriage, and an adorable child. Kids shouldn't be punished or judged for the sins of their parents. Yes maybe those of us from broken homes may have some extra things to work through, but we can overcome it. I will just add that growing up without a dad was really sad and jerks like you don't need to make us feel less than.

Yeah, you forgot the part that included her parents (nasty divorce; mom remarried a drunk)being fucking nuts and putting his wife through 18 years of emotional abuse. Major red flags.

I'd pump and dump a woman like that, but I'd NEVER procreate with her. And I don't give a shit about your lovey dovey "Kids shouldn't be punished or judged for the sins of their parents." Too fucking bad, I do and they deserve it. Past heredity performance is a great indicator of future results.

Pull your head out of your ass.

Wow. You're awfully hostile and judgmental about someone you don't know from Eve. Is this triggering for you? From which of your parents did you inherit this nasty attitude?

- poster with checkered past, happily married, well adjusted

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the people who say divorce your wife. That will not help. Talk to her. Insist that she go to counseling with you, even if she doesn't see the point.

Nowhere have I seen it indicated that she is abusive, toxic or horrible. Negative and maybe materialistic, but I don't think it's unreasonable to be concerned if your spouse is out of work for more than a year. I also don't see anything wrong with being upset that the life you wanted, worked for and planned for is out of reach due to such unemployment. The hing that makes it unreasonable is how you respond to those things.

Oh and poster who says that his problem is a wife whose family is messed up, you have no idea what you're talking about.




THIS. People back off! Get a job while u pursue vocational job. Stop listening to all these people telling you to run! This is a workable situation