Joke taken out of context
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Anonymous
You are right....he asked a colleague if she had any nude pics of the person they were hiring! Makes it so much better and more excusable. 
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Anonymous
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Question for OP - maybe I missed it.
Was the woman who complained part of the original group joke? |
Anonymous
Again, I'm not OP or PP, and the comment was stupid and immature, but he was obviously joking and not asking for actual pics. Do people really not get that? |
Anonymous
Yes, that's what I said upstream. The group locker room bullshit was just inappropriate, but taking that into a one-on-one with a woman who obviously did not partake in that discussion (she probably just sat in uncomfortable silence wishing that they would just stop) then he crossed the line into harassment. If you have to draw a line, joke in a group setting where others are participating, but do not make sexual innuendo, gender jokes, nudity jokes, body jokes with a co-worker one-on-one unless you KNOW that they are open to such jokes. Leave questionable material for situations where no one can feel singled out or cornered. And creating a hostile work environment where if she doesn't participate in the sexual innuendo, nudity and gender jokes is as much sexual harassment as trying to blackmail someone into having a sexual encounter. Why is it so hard to understand that sexual or gender jokes, and sexual innuendo are just not appropriate for a workplace? I've been in the workforce for 27 years and never worked in an environment where that was acceptible in the work place. I've gone outside of work with coworkers and at happy hour down the street, etc, it's free game and everyone can voice those jokes if they want. But then people have a choice to participate or leave. They don't have that leeway in a work setting where they have to stay and complete their work. And for the record, I'm a guy and I find that attitude to be pretty offensive and fully consider it to be creating a hostile work environment and inappropriate for a professional setting. |
Anonymous
I am the PP who had to deal with these on a regular basis - do YOU get that "jokes" can be the basis for a sexual harrasment claim? It actually is not based on whether the comment was intended as a joke. It comes down to whether that comment/joke was inappropriate (it was), whether the recipient was uncomfortable with the joke (she was) and what impact the joke had on her work environment (unclear). Look, I do not think the guy should be fired and if I were him, I would strongly point out the context and group joking. But he will probably get a reprimand. |
Anonymous
I'm pp and I agree with everything you said. What I'm saying is that I don't think people understand that, inappropriate as it was, he was joking that they APPLICANT would have sent nudes per their conversation, not REQUESTING nudes from his colleague. Of course he should be reprimanded and he should understand that people who aren't participating can be made uncomfortable by workplace chatter (I posted that upthread). I do think there is a difference between joking about an applicant with a colleague (immature and inappropriate) and asking a colleague for nude pics (fire-able). That's all I'm saying. |
Anonymous
And of course he wasn't actually asking for or expecting nude pics of the applicant, hence my comment to the poster I originally responded to. I do think there's a difference. Misguided, stupid and immature joke vs harassment. |
Anonymous
| As a women in the workforce, I don't ever want to talk about nude pics. Ever. Ok? |
Anonymous
| OP, you haven't clarified - was this colleague present during the initial group conversation? |
Anonymous
| OP's husband needs to stop joking! |
Anonymous
It would be totally different if he was funny, but that doesn't seem to be the case. |
Anonymous
Say and do whatever you want with your friends. In the workplace, different rules and laws apply. OP's husband created a hostile workplace by legal definition. It is not ok to do what he and his colleagues did. They all need training. |
Anonymous
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You say the 'joke' was taken out of context? In what context was this not inappropriate?
And no one has brought this up yet, but the second incident was via computer chat, right? So there's a paper trail PROVING what he said and did, which is different then just general chatter (which is also highly inappropriate in a workplace) I have no idea if he's going to be fired or not, but if he were on my staff, I'd certainly think he's an insensitive idiot, and that's not really what you want your boss to think. |
Anonymous
| If this doofus worked for me, I would fire him in a new york minute. |
Anonymous
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Unfortunately people have to watch what they say, your husband may have been joking, it may OBVIOUSLY have been a joke, but companies take this very seriously.
At the best, your husband will have a reprimand. At the worst he may be fired. I remember in my first job there was an african american lady admin assistant that sent around an e-mail about race. She was the nicest person and I liked her, and I doubt she meant to create a hostile work environment. Someone complained and the next day her desk was empty. Companies take this thing very very seriously. |