Joke taken out of context

[Anonymous]

My husband is so, so, so stupid to have gotten himself into this but here we go...

Recently his office has changed into an "open plan" community esstentially having one long row of coworkers with no walls. Given the openness of the offices now there is constant banter between the team and given that it's advertising, it's normally not PG rated. Apparently there was a discussion recently that involved talking about nude pics accompanying resumes. Everyone participated in the discussion, was laughing and generally comfortable. A day or two later my husband was working at night and a coworker (female) skyped him to talk about a potential new hire. Given the recent discussion at the office he jokingly said- "Got any nude pics. Oops, sorry wrong chat. Jkjkjkjjkk" she never responded back and apparently went idle. No mention of the chat the next day and a month passes. Until my husband was called into HR. She reported him for sexual harassment over the message. They are now doing an investigation into the incident to determine next steps.

Sexual harassment is a serious offense. But I'm shocked that 1. She never directly mentioned to him or any other member of the team that it was offensive 2. A month passes before she decides to bring this up?

Can he be fired over this stupid joke???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is so, so, so stupid to have gotten himself into this but here we go...

Recently his office has changed into an "open plan" community esstentially having one long row of coworkers with no walls. Given the openness of the offices now there is constant banter between the team and given that it's advertising, it's normally not PG rated. Apparently there was a discussion recently that involved talking about nude pics accompanying resumes. Everyone participated in the discussion, was laughing and generally comfortable. A day or two later my husband was working at night and a coworker (female) skyped him to talk about a potential new hire. Given the recent discussion at the office he jokingly said- "Got any nude pics. Oops, sorry wrong chat. Jkjkjkjjkk" she never responded back and apparently went idle. No mention of the chat the next day and a month passes. Until my husband was called into HR. She reported him for sexual harassment over the message. They are now doing an investigation into the incident to determine next steps.

Sexual harassment is a serious offense. But I'm shocked that 1. She never directly mentioned to him or any other member of the team that it was offensive 2. A month passes before she decides to bring this up?

Can he be fired over this stupid joke???

This is an inappropriate work place. I'm open minded, but this kind of discussion doesn't belong anywhere in the workplace. I don't blame that woman for bringing it up to HR.

I don't think your DH will be fired, but if I were management I would send you all to a week long seminar on EEO and sexual discrimination. I was in an office that had a sexual harassment lawsuit and that's what happened to all of us.

[Anonymous]

I doubt he would be fired. But there will likely be some repercussions, of course.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the joke was taken out of context. What he said was inappropriate. She probably understood the context and had heard the prior joke. Both jokes were highly inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

OP, the employee may have gone to HR sooner, but HR may have talked to management and conduct an informal investigation before informing your husband.

I also agree with 14:23. Sexual harassment is very serious and jokes of that nature should never be allowed. While some people in the team may have laughed, others may have felt extremely offended. Therefore, it's better to avoid conversations/jokes like this.

[Anonymous]

HR person here. It was a totally inappropriate chat comment.

1. It's not the victim's job to confront the harasser. She did exactly what she should have -- took the matter directly to HR.

2. In all likelihood, the delay was caused by HR investigating the matter and determining next steps. This can take some time depending on how large/well-structured the company is.

Your DH isn't likely to be fired, IMO, but he probably will have to take some mandatory training and/or be on a probationary period.

P.S. Please remind your husband that he can be fired over "stupid jokes" if he is so tone-deaf as to think harassing behavior is a "joke."

[Anonymous]

Want to add that you seem to be focused on the one conversation but some in the office may well have been offended by the atmosphere you describe as the day-to-day. Just because your DH and his buddies were laughing doesn't mean everyone found the office joking funny. Some may well have been reporting to HR and it took time to put that "one joke" into a larger pattern of behavior. If I were your DH I would be worried, and be paying a lot more attention to my day to day conduct rather than focusing on one conversation.

[Anonymous]

He should be fired and maybe it's a wake up call to be more professional. I am surprised you as his wife wasn't upset at him discussing random naked women. Stop enabling him and stop being a doormat.

[Anonymous]

you can't assume everyone was comfortable. that is one of the first things in sexual harassment training - the person passing in the background is often the one offended, not the one you're joking with.

i don't think your husband meant anything by it and i don't think it sounds like he meant to harass her, but it's a wake-up call.

[Anonymous]

It is open season on white males in the workplace. Your husband needs to watch everything he says and does.

[Anonymous]

Your DH deserves whatever punishment he gets more, plus now. TOTALLY inappropriate for the workplace and I highly highly doubt that all coworkers were comfortable with the initial nude picture comments.

Were I in that woman's situation, I would have done the exact same thing: immediately gone silent on the chat and taken it to HR immediately and let them do their investigation. Shame on your DH (and you for not seeing the problem here. Nothing was taken out of context)

[Anonymous]

I doubt he will be fired, but the joke was in poor taste and he should not have made it, no matter what the general atmosphere at work is, it is work, and that type of humor doesn't belong there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is open season on white males in the workplace. Your husband needs to watch everything he says and does.

Sorry, MRA, the last person our workplace fired for harassment was a latina woman.

Harassment is serious and I think it's disgusting you'd try to use it as a pity-party excuse for MRAs instead of understanding it can seriously affect people trapped in harassing workplaces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is open season on white males in the workplace. Your husband needs to watch everything he says and does.

How do you know he's white?

[Anonymous]

trolls are all-knowing