Joke taken out of context

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wow. Apparently no one here has ever worked in advertising and everyone here has a stick up his/her ass. I agree you husband was a fool for getting stuck in the situation, but it doesn't really sound like a big deal to me based on the situation.

Uhhh..he asked a co-worker for nudes. LOL Not a big deal? LOL

NO HE DIDNT (I'm not OP or PP). I swear, people can't read.

You are right....he asked a colleague if she had any nude pics of the person they were hiring! Makes it so much better and more excusable.

Again, I'm not OP or PP, and the comment was stupid and immature, but he was obviously joking and not asking for actual pics. Do people really not get that?

I am not at all surprised that the woman didnt say anything directly to him (referring to OPs comment), and just because it's a joke doesn't mean its OK to say.

When I was young and new to the office environment, I was filing in a file cabinet that was very low to the ground. A much older, more senior male colleague "joked" about me being "on my knees, where a woman belongs". I half laughed at his comment because I was 20 and it took me totally by surprise, but I did go directly to HR and his supervisor. It made me so uncomfortable and was incredibly inappropriate. I actually have no idea what happened to him or what the consequences were, but the company took it very seriously as a sexual harassment case, even if he was "clearly joking and not asking me to actually give him a blow job".

not even close to the same thing. what you are describing is clearly harassment. what OP's husband did is not.

Bullpuckeys. Op's husband made an inappropriate sexual comment, and should be held accountable.

I don't know how to make it clearer. Tell me if you see the difference between these two situations:

a) Office discussion of how crazy it is that people send nude pics with job applications. Person A sends Person B a question about an applicant. Person B says "are there any nude pics? You know, like that crazy situation we were laughing about? Can you believe people do that?"

b) Male colleague asks female colleague for nude pics of herself.

c) Senior male colleague making comment about female intern on her knees "where women belong."

It seems that a) is closest to what happened.

+1,000.

In all likelihood he thought of a, she thought of b, but agree this is nowhere near the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is so, so, so stupid to have gotten himself into this but here we go...

Recently his office has changed into an "open plan" community esstentially having one long row of coworkers with no walls. Given the openness of the offices now there is constant banter between the team and given that it's advertising, it's normally not PG rated. Apparently there was a discussion recently that involved talking about nude pics accompanying resumes. Everyone participated in the discussion, was laughing and generally comfortable. A day or two later my husband was working at night and a coworker (female) skyped him to talk about a potential new hire. Given the recent discussion at the office he jokingly said- "Got any nude pics. Oops, sorry wrong chat. Jkjkjkjjkk" she never responded back and apparently went idle. No mention of the chat the next day and a month passes. Until my husband was called into HR. She reported him for sexual harassment over the message. They are now doing an investigation into the incident to determine next steps.

Sexual harassment is a serious offense. But I'm shocked that 1. She never directly mentioned to him or any other member of the team that it was offensive 2. A month passes before she decides to bring this up?

Can he be fired over this stupid joke???

the whole team should have known better. there should have been zero discussions about this in such a pubic area. I know your DH was just joking, but I wouldn't be surprised if they make him take sensitivity classes and watch him closely going forward. Depending on the company, it could be easier to just fire him and not risk the woman suing the company. cheaper to get rid of him.

Six pages and no one has caught this gem yet. People must be skimping on coffee

[Anonymous]

I don't know how to make it clearer. Tell me if you see the difference between these two situations:

a) Office discussion of how crazy it is that people send nude pics with job applications. Person A sends Person B a question about an applicant. Person B says "are there any nude pics? You know, like that crazy situation we were laughing about? Can you believe people do that?"


It seems that a) is closest to what happened.



+1,000.

In all likelihood he thought of a, she thought of b, but agree this is nowhere near the same thing.

Ahh, yes, but A is not at all what happened. OP's H said "Got any nude pics. Oops, sorry wrong chat. Jkjkjkjjkk". It was not a conversation or inquiry into what type of information accompanied the application/resume - and even if it was, it is inappropriate to ask if the applicant sent nude pictures. It was, in fact, a seriously inappropriate joke which does not belong in the workplace. In our company, you could either end up fired or in sexual harassment training plus performance plan, which is exactly what should happen when people make such inappropriate jokes at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, from a practical standpoint it depends on whether your husband is well regarded in terms of work, etc. If he is he will get by with a slap on the wrist, mandatory sensitivity training etc. If he is not, this may be used as an excuse to terminate him. This is the way it works in reality.

A few years ago, I had a female employee in my department who was on the phone with someone and as she ended the call - a call that obviously involved something that irritated/upset her - she said, "he can kiss my ass". Another male employee who was not liked was passing by, overheard her and said "I'd love to do that".

She reported it to her supervisor who brought it to my attention. The male employee was less than satisfactory at his work and not a particularly nice person . This incident provided me with sufficient reason to terminate him after consulting HR and the Legal department. He was escorted out at the end of the work day and given severance.

If the employee were a good worker or well regarded, I'd have handled it differently and probably just reprimanded him and sent him for some form of counseling.

So, I agree with those who say that what your husband did is not of itself grounds for termination but how they choose to proceed is to some extent a function of how he is regarded as an employee.

The only other thing that would possibly affect the outcome is if the company where your husband works has an issue with sexual harassment they may have less flexibility and feel a need to take strong action.

I work in HR. This is truth. If you are a good employee, they will work with you to help you understand how not to be an idiot in the future. If you are a bad employee they're not going to bother their asses.

Hope OP's husband is a good employee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the employee may have gone to HR sooner, but HR may have talked to management and conduct an informal investigation before informing your husband.

I also agree with 14:23. Sexual harassment is very serious and jokes of that nature should never be allowed. While some people in the team may have laughed, others may have felt extremely offended. Therefore, it's better to avoid conversations/jokes like this.

I agree with this. He assumes "everyone" enjoyed these jokes and that because he works in "advertising" harassment is OK. But there's a big difference between humor that is not PG (e.g. humor about drugs or drinking) and humor that makes women in the workplace uncomfortable. His very presentation of the facts of this case suggest to me that he's really very insensitive.

He needs to immediately apologize and own up to "immature humor" and "bad taste." He could volunteer to locate and take sensitivity training. This is 2014. I doubt he will get fired but this is very damaging to his ability to be promoted and, if he's the only one they have making these jokes in writing, he could be made an example.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised none has suggested it is possible this guy has harassed this woman before and now she finally had it with him or finally had "proof" from the chat.

Men suck.

One white male colleague recently made a comment about getting "a loan from guido."

[Anonymous]

Jesus people are so uptight. I hope your husband keeps his job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the joke was taken out of context. What he said was inappropriate.

+1 Yes, he could be fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus people are so uptight. I hope your husband keeps his job.

Are you from 1950

[Anonymous]

The key to harassment is whether or not it was unwelcome. Clearly OP's DH's comment was unwelcome. Thus harassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised none has suggested it is possible this guy has harassed this woman before and now she finally had it with him or finally had "proof" from the chat.

Men suck.

One white male colleague recently made a comment about getting "a loan from guido."

Looks like one of the elements is frequency or pattern of behavior so this is relevant.

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised none has suggested it is possible this guy has harassed this woman before and now she finally had it with him or finally had "proof" from the chat.

Men suck.

One white male colleague recently made a comment about getting "a loan from guido."

Looks like one of the elements is frequency or pattern of behavior so this is relevant.

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm

Key seems to be the definition of serious isolated incidents if it was isolated. The earlier group discussion and the messaging may be enough to establish a pattern.

[Anonymous]

OMG this woman is ridiculous...

[Anonymous]

What happened, OP? I'm guessing he had his meeting. What did HR say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus people are so uptight. I hope your husband keeps his job.

Are you from 1950

I'm not from 1950 I am female and I know how to take a joke. How old was this woman that went to HR?