Judgemental DC parents

[Anonymous]

Just want to agree with the others who said it's not just D.C. It's universal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's so much judgement in DC, it makes me ill. I don't about other areas, as I've lived since '91 and didn't have children at the time, but in 2014, there's plenty of judgement in DC - it's everywhere you turn. Goes beyond parenting - you're judged by your home and then your neighborhood, your vehicle and then the age of your vehicle, what school your children attend, what activities your children are into and then if you're over or under scheduling activities, your job, your income - the list is fucking endless.

People may be judging me by my home, car, children's school, children's activities, job, and income -- but if they are, they're being extremely discreet about it. Or I'm extremely good at denial. One way or the other, it's working for me.

Is this your first time on DCUM? You will be crying soon if you stay. You know what your mom told you growing up, that nobody notices but you? They notice. And they post here. Good luck.

Oh, please. You get what you give in this world, and trust me, normal people don't notice half the stuff that people complain about on here. There are plenty of nice normal people in the real world, and they're easy to find.

[Anonymous]

OP look up Karen Horney. She was a psychoanalytic theorist who developed one of the best known theories of neurosis. She believed that neurosis resulted from basic anxiety caused by interpersonal relationships. Her theory proposes that strategies used to cope with anxiety can be overused, causing them to take on the appearance of needs.

Sounds like you've got #1 - The Neurotic Need for Affection and Approval.

This need includes the desires to be liked, to please other people, and meet the expectations of others. People with this type of need are extremely sensitive to rejection and criticism and fear the anger or hostility of others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's so much judgement in DC, it makes me ill. I don't about other areas, as I've lived since '91 and didn't have children at the time, but in 2014, there's plenty of judgement in DC - it's everywhere you turn. Goes beyond parenting - you're judged by your home and then your neighborhood, your vehicle and then the age of your vehicle, what school your children attend, what activities your children are into and then if you're over or under scheduling activities, your job, your income - the list is fucking endless.

People may be judging me by my home, car, children's school, children's activities, job, and income -- but if they are, they're being extremely discreet about it. Or I'm extremely good at denial. One way or the other, it's working for me.

Is this your first time on DCUM? You will be crying soon if you stay. You know what your mom told you growing up, that nobody notices but you? They notice. And they post here. Good luck.

Oh, please. You get what you give in this world, and trust me, normal people don't notice half the stuff that people complain about on here. There are plenty of nice normal people in the real world, and they're easy to find.

And they're not testy humblebraggers like you either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's so much judgement in DC, it makes me ill. I don't about other areas, as I've lived since '91 and didn't have children at the time, but in 2014, there's plenty of judgement in DC - it's everywhere you turn. Goes beyond parenting - you're judged by your home and then your neighborhood, your vehicle and then the age of your vehicle, what school your children attend, what activities your children are into and then if you're over or under scheduling activities, your job, your income - the list is fucking endless.

People may be judging me by my home, car, children's school, children's activities, job, and income -- but if they are, they're being extremely discreet about it. Or I'm extremely good at denial. One way or the other, it's working for me.

Is this your first time on DCUM? You will be crying soon if you stay. You know what your mom told you growing up, that nobody notices but you? They notice. And they post here. Good luck.

Oh, please. You get what you give in this world, and trust me, normal people don't notice half the stuff that people complain about on here. There are plenty of nice normal people in the real world, and they're easy to find.

And they're not testy humblebraggers like you either.

Humblebrag about knowing normal people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP look up Karen Horney. She was a psychoanalytic theorist who developed one of the best known theories of neurosis. She believed that neurosis resulted from basic anxiety caused by interpersonal relationships. Her theory proposes that strategies used to cope with anxiety can be overused, causing them to take on the appearance of needs.

Sounds like you've got #1 - The Neurotic Need for Affection and Approval.

This need includes the desires to be liked, to please other people, and meet the expectations of others. People with this type of need are extremely sensitive to rejection and criticism and fear the anger or hostility of others.

OP here. Honestly - you can think I have thin skin, or you can think I should just not care what other people are thinking, and you can even say that I read more into this than what it is, but really, who do you think you are that you are going to read the few posts I read and feel able to analyze me.

I haven't said I need to be approved. I found it rude that a stranger thought it was ok to obviously say something about me based on a pretty benign parenting choice.

There are those on this thread who agreed with my assessment and those who did not. Fine. Even those who suggested bitch resting face, about which I was previously unaware.

You however suggest some psycho babble BS based on your in analytic powers so strong you do not have to even meet a person to make a diagnosis.

Feel free to fuck off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP look up Karen Horney. She was a psychoanalytic theorist who developed one of the best known theories of neurosis. She believed that neurosis resulted from basic anxiety caused by interpersonal relationships. Her theory proposes that strategies used to cope with anxiety can be overused, causing them to take on the appearance of needs.

Sounds like you've got #1 - The Neurotic Need for Affection and Approval.

This need includes the desires to be liked, to please other people, and meet the expectations of others. People with this type of need are extremely sensitive to rejection and criticism and fear the anger or hostility of others.

OP here. Honestly - you can think I have thin skin, or you can think I should just not care what other people are thinking, and you can even say that I read more into this than what it is, but really, who do you think you are that you are going to read the few posts I read and feel able to analyze me.

I haven't said I need to be approved. I found it rude that a stranger thought it was ok to obviously say something about me based on a pretty benign parenting choice.

There are those on this thread who agreed with my assessment and those who did not. Fine. Even those who suggested bitch resting face, about which I was previously unaware.

You however suggest some psycho babble BS based on your in analytic powers so strong you do not have to even meet a person to make a diagnosis.

Feel free to fuck off.

PS - it is strange that I have no need for you to like me or to meet your expectations!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's so much judgement in DC, it makes me ill. I don't about other areas, as I've lived since '91 and didn't have children at the time, but in 2014, there's plenty of judgement in DC - it's everywhere you turn. Goes beyond parenting - you're judged by your home and then your neighborhood, your vehicle and then the age of your vehicle, what school your children attend, what activities your children are into and then if you're over or under scheduling activities, your job, your income - the list is fucking endless.

People may be judging me by my home, car, children's school, children's activities, job, and income -- but if they are, they're being extremely discreet about it. Or I'm extremely good at denial. One way or the other, it's working for me.

Is this your first time on DCUM? You will be crying soon if you stay. You know what your mom told you growing up, that nobody notices but you? They notice. And they post here. Good luck.

I meant in real life, as distinct (very distinct) from DCUM. Everything I do is wrong, according to DCUM. And yet somehow I manage to go on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's so much judgement in DC, it makes me ill. I don't about other areas, as I've lived since '91 and didn't have children at the time, but in 2014, there's plenty of judgement in DC - it's everywhere you turn. Goes beyond parenting - you're judged by your home and then your neighborhood, your vehicle and then the age of your vehicle, what school your children attend, what activities your children are into and then if you're over or under scheduling activities, your job, your income - the list is fucking endless.

People may be judging me by my home, car, children's school, children's activities, job, and income -- but if they are, they're being extremely discreet about it. Or I'm extremely good at denial. One way or the other, it's working for me.

Is this your first time on DCUM? You will be crying soon if you stay. You know what your mom told you growing up, that nobody notices but you? They notice. And they post here. Good luck.

I meant in real life, as distinct (very distinct) from DCUM. Everything I do is wrong, according to DCUM. And yet somehow I manage to go on.

The posters on DCUM are from real life. They just don't say it out loud IRL. FYI....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP look up Karen Horney. She was a psychoanalytic theorist who developed one of the best known theories of neurosis. She believed that neurosis resulted from basic anxiety caused by interpersonal relationships. Her theory proposes that strategies used to cope with anxiety can be overused, causing them to take on the appearance of needs.

Sounds like you've got #1 - The Neurotic Need for Affection and Approval.

This need includes the desires to be liked, to please other people, and meet the expectations of others. People with this type of need are extremely sensitive to rejection and criticism and fear the anger or hostility of others.

OP here. Honestly - you can think I have thin skin, or you can think I should just not care what other people are thinking, and you can even say that I read more into this than what it is, but really, who do you think you are that you are going to read the few posts I read and feel able to analyze me.

I haven't said I need to be approved. I found it rude that a stranger thought it was ok to obviously say something about me based on a pretty benign parenting choice.

There are those on this thread who agreed with my assessment and those who did not. Fine. Even those who suggested bitch resting face, about which I was previously unaware.

You however suggest some psycho babble BS based on your in analytic powers so strong you do not have to even meet a person to make a diagnosis.

Feel free to fuck off.

PS - it is strange that I have no need for you to like me or to meet your expectations!

OP, don't bother. They are toying with you.

I'm with you -- that would have upset me too. I would have shot a look or made a comment to the other mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP look up Karen Horney. She was a psychoanalytic theorist who developed one of the best known theories of neurosis. She believed that neurosis resulted from basic anxiety caused by interpersonal relationships. Her theory proposes that strategies used to cope with anxiety can be overused, causing them to take on the appearance of needs.

Sounds like you've got #1 - The Neurotic Need for Affection and Approval.

This need includes the desires to be liked, to please other people, and meet the expectations of others. People with this type of need are extremely sensitive to rejection and criticism and fear the anger or hostility of others.

OP here. Honestly - you can think I have thin skin, or you can think I should just not care what other people are thinking, and you can even say that I read more into this than what it is, but really, who do you think you are that you are going to read the few posts I read and feel able to analyze me.

I haven't said I need to be approved. I found it rude that a stranger thought it was ok to obviously say something about me based on a pretty benign parenting choice.

There are those on this thread who agreed with my assessment and those who did not. Fine. Even those who suggested bitch resting face, about which I was previously unaware.

You however suggest some psycho babble BS based on your in analytic powers so strong you do not have to even meet a person to make a diagnosis.

Feel free to fuck off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's so much judgement in DC, it makes me ill. I don't about other areas, as I've lived since '91 and didn't have children at the time, but in 2014, there's plenty of judgement in DC - it's everywhere you turn. Goes beyond parenting - you're judged by your home and then your neighborhood, your vehicle and then the age of your vehicle, what school your children attend, what activities your children are into and then if you're over or under scheduling activities, your job, your income - the list is fucking endless.

People may be judging me by my home, car, children's school, children's activities, job, and income -- but if they are, they're being extremely discreet about it. Or I'm extremely good at denial. One way or the other, it's working for me.

Is this your first time on DCUM? You will be crying soon if you stay. You know what your mom told you growing up, that nobody notices but you? They notice. And they post here. Good luck.

I meant in real life, as distinct (very distinct) from DCUM. Everything I do is wrong, according to DCUM. And yet somehow I manage to go on.

The posters on DCUM are from real life. They just don't say it out loud IRL. FYI....

I don't think they're from my real life, actually. But even if they are, why would I care what they think of me? I mean that in all seriousness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's so much judgement in DC, it makes me ill. I don't about other areas, as I've lived since '91 and didn't have children at the time, but in 2014, there's plenty of judgement in DC - it's everywhere you turn. Goes beyond parenting - you're judged by your home and then your neighborhood, your vehicle and then the age of your vehicle, what school your children attend, what activities your children are into and then if you're over or under scheduling activities, your job, your income - the list is fucking endless.

People may be judging me by my home, car, children's school, children's activities, job, and income -- but if they are, they're being extremely discreet about it. Or I'm extremely good at denial. One way or the other, it's working for me.

Is this your first time on DCUM? You will be crying soon if you stay. You know what your mom told you growing up, that nobody notices but you? They notice. And they post here. Good luck.

I meant in real life, as distinct (very distinct) from DCUM. Everything I do is wrong, according to DCUM. And yet somehow I manage to go on.

The posters on DCUM are from real life. They just don't say it out loud IRL. FYI....

I don't think they're from my real life, actually. But even if they are, why would I care what they think of me? I mean that in all seriousness.

Because you are human. Nice try though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not sure what she said. She watched me pull out the phone and as soon as I put the phone down, she started whispering in her husband's ear as she was staring at the phone on the table and he then turned to look at it, so I can be 100% sure that is what she was talking about.

Just a bummer and frankly are we all teaching our kids to be nasty and judgmental too?

Wait, so you didn't even hear her say anything? Sorry, but you're the problem OP. For all you know, she was whispering "Oh, man, I hope the kids don't see that and ask us to get out the Iphone." Because some people are trying to cut down on their kids' screen time. Big deal.
Or you were playing it too loud and they thought that was rude, and they talked about it in a whispered conversation between husband and wife. Who cares? Sounds like you're looking to be offended.

That could have been me, 'cause oh shit, my Larla gets to play with her BFF's mom's iPhone at Snowflake's house but not at home and if she starts thinking this is normal I'll never get her to stop whining about it...she also probably thinks you're divorced, taking the kids out without Dad on Father's Day.

[Anonymous]

Human beings are judgmental, whether they admit it or not. This whole thread seems silly -- wherever you live, people judge you by how you look, the choices you make, etc. However, most people are discreet enough to avoid publicly commenting on what they think of you.

I would imagine this woman was either just being rude in expressing how she felt about your choice to show a movie, or your movie was actually louder than you admit. There is nothing more annoying than having to listen to a kids' movie in a public space -- it is polite to use earphones. I would guess that this was the issue -- you were being impolite, and she was commenting on it.