Judgemental DC parents

[Anonymous]

Yesterday we celebrated father's day in the AM with my DH and then he had work to do so I took the kids out and we stopped for dinner on the way home. The kids were hungry, and mainly for the benefit of fellow diners, to keep the calm until the food arrived, I put my iphone on the table with the volume down and a movie.

The woman at the table next me there with her husband and her two kids watched me do it and then turned to her husband and made a comment about using the iphone and I could see the superiority and judgement just dripping off her.

Honestly - is raising children such a competition now that we have lost all our graces and we audibly comment about people's parenting while they are sitting right in front of them?

I did not say anything because my kids and I had a nice time at the zoo and I did not want to make a scene. The whole weekend we were busy with outdoor activities and frankly I do not have a problem with a little screen time if it means that my kids are quiet and don't disturb others. After the food arrived we put the phone away and chatted and went home and caught fireflies and ended on a nice note.

I am still offended though and I am posting this in the hopes that she may read it and know what an ass I think she is.

[Anonymous]

Here's what I figure when this happens. People for whom it is so important to always be right and show their superiority, in general, are not very happy people. They have some type of inferiority complex in some aspect of their lives so they need to have an outlet in some other area where they can prove how awesome they are.

I usually ignore them, although sometimes I do make a comment back to them just to put them in their place a bit. But overall I feel sorry for them. Feeling good about yourself by putting other people down is a sign of a miserable life.

p.s. my family all lives in a nice Midwestern town and this kind of thing happens there too. It's not just a DC thing.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a fun weekend, OP! Don't let the haters get you down.

[Anonymous]

It's totally not just a DC thing. I've encountered rude, judgmental people everywhere, with and without kids. I can see saying something if the movie was audible--it is really rude to play a movie in public with the sound on. But in that case, she should have just asked you to turn the sound off.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you had a lovely weekend, OP. Try to focus on that and don't give the nasty lady anymore of your brain space.

[Anonymous]

What was her comment? I'd love to know...

[Anonymous]

Using the iPhone is not a problem, but it's inconsiderate to play an audio device within earshot of others. Use earphones or have them play a game that does not require audio.

[Anonymous]

She was trying to make a snide remark to fend of the begging stares from her own children who would have liked to be watching a video, too.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Not sure what she said. She watched me pull out the phone and as soon as I put the phone down, she started whispering in her husband's ear as she was staring at the phone on the table and he then turned to look at it, so I can be 100% sure that is what she was talking about.

Just a bummer and frankly are we all teaching our kids to be nasty and judgmental too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Using the iPhone is not a problem, but it's inconsiderate to play an audio device within earshot of others. Use earphones or have them play a game that does not require audio.

The volume was down very low. We were sitting outside with traffic passing. I could hardly hear it. I guarantee she could not hear anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I can be 100% sure that is what she was talking about.

You're too sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not sure what she said. She watched me pull out the phone and as soon as I put the phone down, she started whispering in her husband's ear as she was staring at the phone on the table and he then turned to look at it, so I can be 100% sure that is what she was talking about.

Just a bummer and frankly are we all teaching our kids to be nasty and judgmental too?

Wait, so you didn't even hear her say anything? Sorry, but you're the problem OP. For all you know, she was whispering "Oh, man, I hope the kids don't see that and ask us to get out the Iphone." Because some people are trying to cut down on their kids' screen time. Big deal.
Or you were playing it too loud and they thought that was rude, and they talked about it in a whispered conversation between husband and wife. Who cares? Sounds like you're looking to be offended.

[Anonymous]

Totally not a DC thing. I also think it's really poor form for a woman who had her husband there to judge your coping techniques while you had the kids on your own. I learned a lot when my husband went on travel for a month - many of the things we don't do as a family I'm able to pull off because my husband and I do it together. I wouldn't be able to practice the same type of parenting on my own - it's not about philosophical preferences, it's just practicality at a certain point.

I'm sure that woman would have judged you either way - if your kids had made noise, she also would have given you the side eye. You can't win with these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not sure what she said. She watched me pull out the phone and as soon as I put the phone down, she started whispering in her husband's ear as she was staring at the phone on the table and he then turned to look at it, so I can be 100% sure that is what she was talking about.

Just a bummer and frankly are we all teaching our kids to be nasty and judgmental too?

Wait, so you didn't even hear her say anything? Sorry, but you're the problem OP. For all you know, she was whispering "Oh, man, I hope the kids don't see that and ask us to get out the Iphone." Because some people are trying to cut down on their kids' screen time. Big deal.
Or you were playing it too loud and they thought that was rude, and they talked about it in a whispered conversation between husband and wife. Who cares? Sounds like you're looking to be offended.

a) it was not too loud, b) I am 100% sure that she was making a nasty comment. I could see her face and I could see her body language even if I could not hear the words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally not a DC thing. I also think it's really poor form for a woman who had her husband there to judge your coping techniques while you had the kids on your own. I learned a lot when my husband went on travel for a month - many of the things we don't do as a family I'm able to pull off because my husband and I do it together. I wouldn't be able to practice the same type of parenting on my own - it's not about philosophical preferences, it's just practicality at a certain point.

I'm sure that woman would have judged you either way - if your kids had made noise, she also would have given you the side eye. You can't win with these people.

Did you see OP's confession that she didn't even hear what the woman said? She is actually the judgmental one. Sounds like pretty insecure, too.