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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Moms Who Won't Get Their Kids Dx, Won't Get Therapy
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Anonymous
does your "normal" 5yo folds up your laundry geometrically perfectly separating by person and color? I can't imagine how beautiful your playroom is... 8) |
Anonymous
he watches one's behavior and copies it. that's why the "interest" in doing the laundry. if you give him legos he'll sort them in color, shape, size... he cannot build anything. he can copy any word but he doesn't know the alphabet or the numbers... he imitates behavior. the mom does the laundry and he copies her when she's folding it. you should see what a work of art he does with the socks!!! do you people really think it's normal? |
and other boys lining up cars and jumping on each other. If you just let preschool boys do whatever came naturally to them (and didn't intervene all the time), you are going to see a lot of hitting, pushing, wrestling. What we terms these days as aggression. I think most parents are able to distinguish between "boyish" behaviors and real issues.
Anonymous
| I wish my son lined up his cars in neat little rows-instead, he throws them everywhere! How can I teach him to be neat and tidy??? |
Anonymous
the "clean up" song and a happy mommy pushing them around always helps 
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Anonymous
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I think the OP is overly critical, probably a Negative Nancy type.
Her arm chair sampling of "friends" with children who have massive problems that need drugs to correct seems to have an abnormal amount of troubled children. I am a SAHM as well and have quite large network of friends, I see some kids with better behavior than others. Maybe one child might have a serious problem. How does the OP have SOOOOOO many friends who's boys have problems? Most boys & girls I know who are a bit over the top have either weak parents, or they are just extremely strong willed. Thank goodness my sister was not born today, but instead in the early 80s. She would not hug my mom or dad, never seek or even enjoy physical affection, would not make eye contact, spent a massive amount of time in her room painting weird & morbid pictures, and did not talk until she was 4 years old. She has always been extremely introverted and would have surely without a doubt been DX's autistic. Turns out she is simply introverted (an artistic type) and has worked hard over the last few years as a young adult to try to get out of her comfort zone and meet new people and make connections. She is a college graduate, holds down a good job, is engaged to a nice guy, and has a small handful of girlfriends. We talk openly about how life was growing up and she said as long as she remembers she has never been comfortable with a lot of physical contact. We often jokingly talk about how if she were a child in today’s world she surely would have been labeled “special needs”. I think we are wayyyy to eager to label our children if they do not fit a perfect cookie cutter. Luckily, my son "fits the mold", but I'm sure if he did not, I would probably be a little too tolerant of his eccentricities for the likes of the OP and her ilk. |
Anonymous
| What is normal? |
Anonymous
No, but if he did I'd be jumping for joy, not trying to fix him like he had some kind of problem. Everyone is different. If he is OCD and that means he folds laundry neatly -- where's the problem??? I seriously don't get it. It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round. |
Anonymous
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As I'm reading these anecdotes about the laundry boy, the artistic introverted girl, the scratchy clothes boy, I keep having the same thought: it's fantastic that they're all functioning, and some of the time really happy.
But why is it so wrong to think they could live an even happier life, with the assistance of highly competent medical professionals? Kind of like the person who has powerful seasonal allergies - sure you can make it through the day, a day punctuated by happy moments, while your head is killing you and your eyes are swelling shut. But why wouldn't you seek out an allergist who diagnoses you with a severe allergy to ragweed and recommends a course of treatment (including medication and behavioral changes) that alleviates your compulsion -- yes, compulsion -- to sort laundry; scream at a 1x1 inch tag, or hide in your room unable to engage with people? |
Anonymous
Or you could simply cut the labels out of the clothes or dump on the floor some laundry that needs sorting. |
Anonymous
So did my son when he was a toddler. Goodness, for months he was moving our living room furniture into formation over and over again. Just thought it was boy fun. He's a preteen now, not autistic. He's generally described as well-behaved, thoughtful, and kind. Go figure. |
Anonymous
oh yeah... and what would you do if your child who sorts the laundry "neatly" by color cannot learn to write or count? he copies letters, words.. but he has no ability to build the words himself. he sorts legos but he cannot build anything with it. yes, he functions as a machine. let's put him to sort paperwork at office, right? do you think him or his mom are really happy? come on.... |
Anonymous
okay, but this is an extreme. most of the posts here aren't referring to this kind of extreme behavior. we're talking about the broad range of "normal" quirks in children. obviously this child's issues seem to be impeding his ability to function in the world. i don't really think it's an appropriate example if you're trying to defend OP's post. OP seems to have a large group of friends, all with boys who have autistic tendencies, all with parents in denial... something rings false here. |
Anonymous
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Again, lets try to have a civil discussion without the jabs and put downs and insults and sarcasm. I want to keep this an intelligent and civil discussion because it really isn't a fake post.
I am not dx'ing people's children. I suggested that parents may be avoiding getting their kids looked at by a professional when their kids behavior might warrant a visit to a child development expert. I've seen a dozen child experts for my own SON (yes, I do have a son) and learned some things. I'm sharing and applying what I've learned from 2 years of visits to various professionals. What is the harm in suggesting that moms have these 'quirks' looked at by a professional? What does one lose? To the poster who said she suspected her child might have some issues but could not afford therapy, I totally understand and sympathize with you and anyone whose insurance does not cover for therapy. I'm not faulting you at all. You tried to get your child therapy. And to the posters who said I must be a terrible friend if I suggested to my friends they should get their boys dx. I never said I suggested they get their children dx. I said the subject of 'quirk's came up in our playgroup and a couple of moms said they would not spend the money to get their children therapy. I did not bring this subject up. I did not suggest their children get therapy. I know this is a sensitive subject so of course I will not bring it up to my friends to their face and I will not suggest therapy or ask them to seek a dx. But this is an anonymous web site, and the anonymity makes for a less intimate avenue to discuss subjects more openly and hopefully without such so much sensitivity. |
Anonymous
| Op here again. To add, I am really against giving meds to young children for autism or special needs issues. |
Anonymous
| I have contributed several tongue-in-cheek posts here, but I will say that when my DS first started preschool, I thought all the other kids had developmental problems or their parents must not be doing a good job as parents. I didn't realize how wild or just plain weird normal preschoolers can be. Now I know better. |