Moms Who Won't Get Their Kids Dx, Won't Get Therapy

[Anonymous]

NP here. I am not a drug rep or a clinician trolling for clients.

I agree with OP on some points, as I too have a few friends who have kids with issues. Issues that should at *least* be evaluated. And I know for a fact the kids have not been checked out.

In one family, dad is a software genius with only enough people skills to make it through the phone interview to be hired for his one-of-a-kind software skills. Their 5 yr old still can't answer a direct question unless you count simply parroting the question. He spends his time running into walls and, yes, lining up cars. And shoving you out of the way if you touch his cars. But hey, his dad is gainfully employed!

This is how his parents think. It's kind of an unusual feeling to watch this, actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- most parents will take their lead from the preschool teachers on this one. I think most parents won't think to take a child for treatment and certainly not expensive therapy unless the kids are having significant trouble in preschool or daycare -- like, the kids are being threatened with dismissal if they don't shape up. THAT motivates the parents to start looking for reasons why their child can't behave -- which leads to a diagnosis and some therapy, etc.

So if you are seeing a lot of this, and your armchair diagnosis is correct that there are a bunch of buys with untreated neurological disorders out there -- chances are that it is the preschool teachers who are seeing this activity (licking doorknobs, you mentioned....or throwing tantrums) as behavior problems, not neurological ones. They might be the ones to talk to, if they are all at your kid's school. Maybe offer to host a parent education night or something, and invite the teachers.

I know you're right. You basicaly hit the nail on the head. But I'm curious - why aren't our preschool teachers saying anything to the parents? Is it because they don't know what auditory processing disorder is how sensory integration disorder can manifest itself in many different behaviors? Do they teach things like that in early education?

[Anonymous]

Why do you know so much about these issues? And is it your understanding that auditory processing and sensory integration equals autism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a therapist or an expert in childhood development? Or are you making these assumptions from a 2-minute observation based on circumstantial evidence?

And what makes you think that the parents are doing "nothing" about it? Perhaps they want to keep family matters personal and private and, right now, it could be work in progress.

...plus, maybe the kids are just total whiny brats and the parents are the one who need "help".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you know so much about these issues? And is it your understanding that auditory processing and sensory integration equals autism?

Why do you ask? Is my motivation for the post at question here?

Re your second question, absolutely not. Auditory processing and sensory integration does not equal autism. Many many autistic kids will have sensory issues and auditory proc issues. But not all sensory kids have autism. Not all auditory proc kids have autism.

[Anonymous]

just pure curiosity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a therapist or an expert in childhood development? Or are you making these assumptions from a 2-minute observation based on circumstantial evidence?

And what makes you think that the parents are doing "nothing" about it? Perhaps they want to keep family matters personal and private and, right now, it could be work in progress.

...plus, maybe the kids are just total whiny brats and the parents are the one who need "help".

I am not a therapist or expert in childhood development. These are my friends, so they are not 2 min observations.

Maybe the parents are keeping family matters private and maybe they did get a dx or are getting therapy. But I said I didn't believe that was the case because I've seen a steady deterioration in these children over the years. Plus some of the mothers have stated to me they will not get therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:just pure curiosity.

My child has some issues, not enough to categorize him as special needs though. He has some sensory issues. He has no auditory proc issues. He is not autistic. I've read a little bit on it and he was in therapy for about 2 yrs. Now he no longer needs therapy with an OT, just home based OT occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:just pure curiosity.

My child has some issues, not enough to categorize him as special needs though. He has some sensory issues. He has no auditory proc issues. He is not autistic. I've read a little bit on it and he was in therapy for about 2 yrs. Now he no longer needs therapy with an OT, just home based OT occasionally.

My son is like this as well plus he has very strong personality, we did OT for 2 years, that helped tremendously. He seems to be thriving now, but he will always be a sensitive & oppositional (relative to my daughter who is just so easy) child and require very strong parenting skills from us. I've had to work very hard to learn how to parent him--but the rewards are just so tremendous. As for your friends and their husbands...I can completely empathize with them. My husband had a very hard time "accepting" or "admitting" our son's issues and frankly, I just carried out the diagnoses, therapies without his complete buy-in (boy did we have some big arguments). But looking back, quite simply, for some parents its scary to think that your child has some real problems. But, I also strongly believe that many preschool boys are very active, play act for domineering behaviors and take longer than most (but not all) girls to develop the gross and fine motor skills that are demanded of them from a very young age. It can take a cohort of boys, even without any developmental, sensory or other issues, up to age 10-12 to get to the same developmental stage and many schools are not geared to deal with that.... btw, many of these types of boys do much better at all-boys schools that know how to deal with active boys.

[Anonymous]

My son exhibited some sensory issues and as a parent, I didn't ignore it. I went through Child Find who said my son's issues were "bad enough" to be a part of their program. So I tried the private therapy route but at over $100 per one hour session, I just couldn't afford even weekly OT visits. So, OP, have you ever considered that there are parents like me out there whose sons aren't "bad enough" for the county program and can't afford private OT for SPD? Many early childhood teachers don't know anything about sensory issues. They think the child is being willful and defiant when he won't sit next to other kids during circle time and he hits another child when he is touched (that was my son). He has tactile issues but the school's teachers and admin thought he was just a behavior issue.

[Anonymous]

PP poster here. Need to proofread before I post. My son DID NOT qualify for services through the county.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP poster here. Need to proofread before I post. My son DID NOT qualify for services through the county.

If the child is brderline autism spectrum or asperger's with average to really high iq's then many schools will not provide them with access to academics as per non-discrimination under section 505. Fairfax County has a strong history of dumping into ED centers which have academics tailored for those who have trouble passing state minimum competency tests. That is why parents have difficulty . ED classes also have gang members, drugs, etc. Google "perfect Victim" essay by Ami Klin at yale.

[Anonymous]

I got the feeling after talking to the county person that they didn't really think sensory disorders were "real." She asked me many questions about my parenting but seemed at a loss as to what to do for my son's tactile defensiveness. She asked if I worked and was he like that as a baby (No to both). She recommended parenting classes and sent me on my way. Nice. They are going to have to deal w/ it sooner or later since he will be in K next year. His issues haven't gone away but he has learned to deal w/ them a bit (sits on his own in groups so he won't be touched or bumped, etc).

[Anonymous]

How is it possible that OP knows so many boys with all of these issues? Makes me wonder if she's looking for these "quirks", etc in each child she meets. I have met a great number of preschool-aged boys through my son, and maybe one or two kids has mild issues that the parents are concerned about so it seems strange that OP knows so many affected children and that all of the parents are in denial. I think that there is a broad range of "normal" in the preschool years and many children go through different quirks, etc that they grow out of as they mature. I don't deny that there are many children on the spectrum or with SPD that need treatment because they aren't able to function in the school setting... but I see an opposite phenomenon amongst my friends-- Everyone is so paranoid about their kids development that they are very quick to have them evaluated, only to find that everything is okay. I just can't imagine that OP isn't exaggerating the number of boys she observes who have this list of issues.

[Anonymous]

btw lots of kids are sensitive and noise sensitive or emotional without having SPD or being Bipolar. If the children OP refers to truly exhibit all of these symptoms at the same time (sensitivities, licking, tantrums, etc) I can't imagine that preschool would treat it as merely behavioral.