Foreign-born SIL bashing Americans

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend is married to a Greek, and I was appalled to hear their opinions about the US, the Americans, school system, etc. yet, no one is going back to Greece.
It's just a normal part of immigrant behavior. Americans living in other countries are also guilty of it.

This. And some Americans also self segregate in expat communities abroad too. What's the point in going over to a foreign country if you only want to be amongst Americans and live like you still live in America?

As an expat living abroad, I have to agree with this.

I disagree with you. I was an expat for 6 years in the Netherlands. Despite the # of Americans living in Amsterdam, most of our friends from that time are Dutch.

Wow, you are so cool! Do you speak Netherese?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many foreigners are jealous and resentful because they realize their countries and peoples are dirty, smelly, and inferior.

You slay me with your troll humor.

[Anonymous]

You must insist that your brother divorces her. Take away her child and make sure that she is not enriched in any way- so that she is at par with American school kids.

Fitting in is so important!

And, if your brother protests, make sure that you get your friend married to him. One foreigner is pretty much the same as another foreigner!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must insist that your brother divorces her. Take away her child and make sure that she is not enriched in any way- so that she is at par with American school kids.

Fitting in is so important!

And, if your brother protests, make sure that you get your friend married to him. One foreigner is pretty much the same as another foreigner!

Very sage advice OP. Hope you are listening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you going to talk to her about? You are just stirring up drama. Enough. Who cares if she hates Americans, hates the US, etc.

Lol, imagine OP going over to SIL and schooling SIL to love Americans and the US. "I said you better like Americans and this country!!! Or else!!!!"

+2. OP's "friend" sounds like a gossipy backstabby person. Why would you call someone up to tell them that their sister in law doesn't like America? That is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend is married to a Greek, and I was appalled to hear their opinions about the US, the Americans, school system, etc. yet, no one is going back to Greece.
It's just a normal part of immigrant behavior. Americans living in other countries are also guilty of it.

This. And some Americans also self segregate in expat communities abroad too. What's the point in going over to a foreign country if you only want to be amongst Americans and live like you still live in America?

+1000

Americans live in other countries and complain about all sorts of things with regards to their host country. That doesn't mean they don't like parts of the country, but other things they do dislike. How is this different from immigrants here?

We talk criticize parts of our own country here too. We talk about the education system, the politics, the postal service, the feds, etc. Should we just move out too if we don't particularly like the way some things are governed here.

Your honestly being way to touchy about this.

Don't forget one of the best things about this country- Freedom of Speech.

[Anonymous]

You should shoot her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, by the way you are relating to her, OP, I would not be surprised if she isn't comfortable around you. Have some compassion for immigrants and cultural differences.

OP: and how am I relating to her? I include her in all family activities, I introduce her to our friends, I don't snub her. Her daughter is always invited to playdates but since she barely speaks the language, it's really hard for our kids to play together. But at least they try.

PP here. It's your tone of voice and general inability to see things from her perspective - there is a not-so-subtle disdain for immigrants in your post. You also refer to her as a "girl." And for the record, there is truly nothing wrong with the fact that her kid does not speak English very well - she will learn in time and probably be fluent by kindergarten/1st grade. If you were an American living abroad, can't you imagine teaching your child English as a first language and hanging out with other American expats? It is only natural. And as other PPs have mentioned, complaining about your new country is often a part of the acculturation process.

Now, if you genuinely have an issue w/ the way SIL is relating to you or your brother and your families, that's another story. But all I heard was hearsay based upon what your friend told you. And I imagine your friend is much more settled in the US, no? So sometimes that can make immigrants turn away from their home cultures. Just things to think about before jumping to conclusions...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are born here and speak poorly of the country -- who cares?
Now, if she was speaking poorly of your family -- THEN you have problems.

OP: she wasn't speaking poorly of OUR family, she was lumping it all together. Schools are horrible, people are uncultured, etc.

Sorry to break it to you, Americans, but that is nothing but the truth.
I have lived in many (developed) countries, and that is the opinion of every. single. one of them!

The underlying amazement and envy here is: Why would a country placing such poor value on education achieve so much? This is actually an excellent question which can only be answered by research into the history of industrialization, trade routes, the 2 world wars, the cold war, etc... Be aware that the USA's superpower status is well on its way to being compromised by industrious Asian countries, and that this should affect the way we parent our children, since they will be the first generation to enter the job market during this transition.

OP, your SIL was probably quite rude and ungrateful. You can't however say anything since she did not related anything to you directly. One more thing - you described your family as "jocks". She was perhaps raised in a more genteel environment, and that is maybe part of her culture shock as well. Bear in mind that none of the above mean that she does not like you!

A little perspective is what is needed here.

Yes, the elementary system in the US is fairly poor, compared to European schools. However, university education in the US is excellent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend is married to a Greek, and I was appalled to hear their opinions about the US, the Americans, school system, etc. yet, no one is going back to Greece.
It's just a normal part of immigrant behavior. Americans living in other countries are also guilty of it.

Yep. Let it go. Your SIL was probably venting to your friend because she assumed she'd found a sympathetic ear. Most immigrants and ex-pats have lots of complaints about the country they live in, but at the same time, there are positives about that country that keep them there. SIL just wanted to focus on the negative that day . . . let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are born here and speak poorly of the country -- who cares?
Now, if she was speaking poorly of your family -- THEN you have problems.

OP: she wasn't speaking poorly of OUR family, she was lumping it all together. Schools are horrible, people are uncultured, etc.

Sorry to break it to you, Americans, but that is nothing but the truth.
I have lived in many (developed) countries, and that is the opinion of every. single. one of them!

The underlying amazement and envy here is: Why would a country placing such poor value on education achieve so much? This is actually an excellent question which can only be answered by research into the history of industrialization, trade routes, the 2 world wars, the cold war, etc... Be aware that the USA's superpower status is well on its way to being compromised by industrious Asian countries, and that this should affect the way we parent our children, since they will be the first generation to enter the job market during this transition.

OP, your SIL was probably quite rude and ungrateful. You can't however say anything since she did not related anything to you directly. One more thing - you described your family as "jocks". She was perhaps raised in a more genteel environment, and that is maybe part of her culture shock as well. Bear in mind that none of the above mean that she does not like you!

A little perspective is what is needed here.

Yes, the elementary system in the US is fairly poor, compared to European schools. However, university education in the US is excellent.

yes, if you can spend hundreds of thousands of dollars. my dad graduated from medical school with no debts, tuition was minimal, like $100 a year, and has been a surgeon for 40 years now. I went to law school in one of the best and oldest law schools in Europe and the tuition was again about $150 (now is around 1000 euros and people are outraged by the high cost).

[Anonymous]

OP, let me see if I understand. a friend comes to you and bash one of your family members to you behind her back and you not only do not defend her or bother to hear your SIL's side of the story, you take it as the truth and actually wonder if you should talk to your brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend is married to a Greek, and I was appalled to hear their opinions about the US, the Americans, school system, etc. yet, no one is going back to Greece.
It's just a normal part of immigrant behavior. Americans living in other countries are also guilty of it.

This. And some Americans also self segregate in expat communities abroad too. What's the point in going over to a foreign country if you only want to be amongst Americans and live like you still live in America?

As an expat living abroad, I have to agree with this.

I disagree with you. I was an expat for 6 years in the Netherlands. Despite the # of Americans living in Amsterdam, most of our friends from that time are Dutch.

And most of my friends are citizens of the country where I currently live. This is not the norm. Most expats gravitate towards similar circles, hangout spots, etc. Particularly outside of Western Europe.

[Anonymous]

Please, if you don't like our country, LEAVE!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

If your tuition is only $150 per year which realistically pays for just about nothing, who is keeping the best European universities afloat? Is it taxes, endowment?