Foreign-born SIL bashing Americans

[Anonymous]

Several years ago my brother married a girl from another country. They've been married now for a few years and have a child. Last weekend DH and I threw a party where we invited our family and friends. One of my friends is also from that country, so I thought they'd hit it off since SIL always seemed very shy around other Americans. Well, my friend called me last night and sounded somewhat upset. She said that throughout their conversation, SIL was calling other Americans derogatory names, bashing U.S. education systems and overall, and kept saying how superior kids from her home country are to American ones. My friend asked if we knew this was going on. We don't speak the language and neither does my brother, so we never know what she's talking about even with her kid. Why would you marry someone whose culture you find so distasteful? Most important - should I even mention anything to my brother?

FWIW, she had her green card for a few years now.

[Anonymous]

Americans can't face the truth of their fall from grace.

[Anonymous]

Eh. Some people are assholes. Whatever. Just apologize to your friend that her fun time at your party was overshadowed by your SIL, and move on.

[Anonymous]

OP, let me guess: your SIL is from Russia? 'cause those guys criticize this country's education ALL THE TIME.

[Anonymous]

SIL is probably right, and your friend's a narc. Not sure why she made her home here though.

[Anonymous]

You didn't hear the conversation yourself so you have no idea what your sister in law actually said.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is all hearsay
I would let it go.

[Anonymous]

I would feel bad that my SIL had made one of my invited guests uncomfortable, but at the same time the guest should have told the SIL in their mutual language something like "oh well, then why do you stay here?" SIL thought she had a sympathetic ear, and didn't. So I would apologize to the friend, but not much you can do about it unless you want to say to friend "if you're ever in the same place again, feel free to tell off SIL -- you won't hurt my feelings if you do".

[Anonymous]

OP: I'm thinking about talking to SIL first. Maybe she's really uncomfortable or maybe our rowdy family of jocks made her uneasy, I don't know. She's been here for several years now and you'd think she'd at least be somewhat at ease...

[Anonymous]

Honestly, by the way you are relating to her, OP, I would not be surprised if she isn't comfortable around you. Have some compassion for immigrants and cultural differences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, by the way you are relating to her, OP, I would not be surprised if she isn't comfortable around you. Have some compassion for immigrants and cultural differences.

OP: and how am I relating to her? I include her in all family activities, I introduce her to our friends, I don't snub her. Her daughter is always invited to playdates but since she barely speaks the language, it's really hard for our kids to play together. But at least they try.

[Anonymous]

This trait is unfortunately common among some immigrants. They are happy to live in this country and enjoy all its benefits, while criticizing the people, schools etc. I would just accept that this is the way she is and let it go.

[Anonymous]

"Go back to your shitty foreign country then".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Go back to your shitty foreign country then".

that is rude
even more rude than someone voicing a valid complaint

I suspect you will not be happy to have your brother go and live in another country and not coming back.

What is so wrong with a foreign born complaining? What is wrong with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Go back to your shitty foreign country then".

Yeah, and have a kid endure the joy of international family law.