Foreign-born SIL bashing Americans

[Anonymous]

Eh, I'd let it go. She's allowed to have her opinions. Maybe the educational system really is better where she came from. This country certainly isn't perfect. There's nothing wrong with calling a spade a spade.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. Let it go. Lots of foreigners live here and seem to hate so much about the U.S. and Americans. A lot of my foreign-born in-laws are like this. It's kind of sad that they're living somewhere they dislike, but it's their right to feel that way.

[Anonymous]

A lot of people are born here and speak poorly of the country -- who cares?
Now, if she was speaking poorly of your family -- THEN you have problems.

[Anonymous]

Not to defend her because I think people should appreciate the opportunity to be able to come to this country with all the resources and opportunities that are here but I also think it is common for foreigners to immediately see differences and speak distastefully about the new place. She probably was just commiserating with someone from back home who can understand where she is coming from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to defend her because I think people should appreciate the opportunity to be able to come to this country with all the resources and opportunities that are here but I also think it is common for foreigners to immediately see differences and speak distastefully about the new place. She probably was just commiserating with someone from back home who can understand where she is coming from.

I agree, it's just a stage of acculturation. Most immigrants go through the bashing phase. In a few years she'll reverse her opinions, and in a few more will stop comparing all together.

[Anonymous]

DC attends Russian Sunday school. You can't imagine the # of parents there who are constantly criticizing pretty much all aspects of American lifestyle. Education system is the worse. Yet when some of these children flunk a subject or two at the "dumb American school", they usually get a bit quieter.

OP, I am sorry you had to find out the hard way what your SIL really thinks about this country. It's most displeasing when people talk behind your back in your own house. I also find it rather strange that the child barely speaks English considering her father is American and it's an ideal way to raise a truly bilingual child. My DH is French-Canadian and only speaks French to DC. I speak Russian to her. She gets English at school. As a result, she's very comfortable whenever she visits her grandparents in Montreal or my parents in Moscow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are born here and speak poorly of the country -- who cares?
Now, if she was speaking poorly of your family -- THEN you have problems.

OP: she wasn't speaking poorly of OUR family, she was lumping it all together. Schools are horrible, people are uncultured, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. Let it go. Lots of foreigners live here and seem to hate so much about the U.S. and Americans. A lot of my foreign-born in-laws are like this. It's kind of sad that they're living somewhere they dislike, but it's their right to feel that way.

+1

[Anonymous]

What are you going to talk to her about? You are just stirring up drama. Enough. Who cares if she hates Americans, hates the US, etc.

[Anonymous]

My friend is married to a Greek, and I was appalled to hear their opinions about the US, the Americans, school system, etc. yet, no one is going back to Greece.
It's just a normal part of immigrant behavior. Americans living in other countries are also guilty of it.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is concerned that SIL is being a hypocrite towards her brother. I am not sure how she came to be in this country in the first place but for someone to be married to an American and not being comfortable WITH Americans can't be good for his marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are born here and speak poorly of the country -- who cares?
Now, if she was speaking poorly of your family -- THEN you have problems.

OP: she wasn't speaking poorly of OUR family, she was lumping it all together. Schools are horrible, people are uncultured, etc.

Remember, you were not there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you going to talk to her about? You are just stirring up drama. Enough. Who cares if she hates Americans, hates the US, etc.

Lol, imagine OP going over to SIL and schooling SIL to love Americans and the US. "I said you better like Americans and this country!!! Or else!!!!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend is married to a Greek, and I was appalled to hear their opinions about the US, the Americans, school system, etc. yet, no one is going back to Greece.
It's just a normal part of immigrant behavior. Americans living in other countries are also guilty of it.

This. And some Americans also self segregate in expat communities abroad too. What's the point in going over to a foreign country if you only want to be amongst Americans and live like you still live in America?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people are born here and speak poorly of the country -- who cares?
Now, if she was speaking poorly of your family -- THEN you have problems.

OP: she wasn't speaking poorly of OUR family, she was lumping it all together. Schools are horrible, people are uncultured, etc.

Sorry to break it to you, Americans, but that is nothing but the truth.
I have lived in many (developed) countries, and that is the opinion of every. single. one of them!

The underlying amazement and envy here is: Why would a country placing such poor value on education achieve so much? This is actually an excellent question which can only be answered by research into the history of industrialization, trade routes, the 2 world wars, the cold war, etc... Be aware that the USA's superpower status is well on its way to being compromised by industrious Asian countries, and that this should affect the way we parent our children, since they will be the first generation to enter the job market during this transition.

OP, your SIL was probably quite rude and ungrateful. You can't however say anything since she did not related anything to you directly. One more thing - you described your family as "jocks". She was perhaps raised in a more genteel environment, and that is maybe part of her culture shock as well. Bear in mind that none of the above mean that she does not like you!

A little perspective is what is needed here.