My grandmother's ring

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two sisters, one ring....that is the problem. And mom (the owner of Grandma's ring) decided which sister should receive the ring. End of story. Or at least it should be!

But it's not the end of story. Thw mother expects long term financial support from the other daughter.

So the daughter would be cool supporting her mother long term if she had received the ring instead of her sister? You believe that?

The daughter appears to be cool with it either way. Her mom sucks for expecting it and giving the ring given all the circumstances.

I don't agree that the mom did anything wrong. It seems that the OP believes that she is more entitled to the family heirlooms than a less well off sibling because when the time comes for Mom to need some financial assistance, the OP will be the one (mostly) footing the bill. So in the OP's mind she gets first dibs on the family loot because she is more deserving of it.

So Mom's reaction is....well, o.k., fine. If you want to make this ALL about money, we'll make this ALL about money and see how you like it. And the OP does not like it, in fact she feels hurt, which is understandable. I may be wrong, but I think that Mom is trying to make the OP understand how her attitude (I'm more deserving because I have more money) is making her sister feel. Mom would rather have the OP mad at her than to see her girls at odds with each other.....

OP is actually the only who really wants the ring. Sister doesnt care for it. Mother is an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a ring
Get over it
I got zero jewelry from my grandma bc I was born after she wrote the will
Sucks but oh we'll, not worth causing family strife
Just bc you have more money and will be more able to support your mom if she needs it doesn't mean you deserve the jewelry more

It kind of does, though.

Why? If anything, the less well off sibling deserves more inheritance.

If it was worth a lot and u thought you might need to sell it to support mom, that would be one thing, but why should one sibling get an heirloom just because she makes more money? That makes no sense

Why would a less well off sibling "deserve" a larger inheiritance? That is insane. So someone who saves money and is responsible deserves less than someone who blows through every penny? Ridiculous.

You do t know why the less well of sibling is less well off. Maybe she has a health issue, isn't as smart, works hard as a nurse or something that doesn't pay as well. I'm not saying the less well off one should get more, but if it is unequal, it seems the less wealthy one deserves it more than the wealthy one.

[Anonymous]

Op, you sound very entitled.

I do not u der stand why you feel you deserve the ring more than your sister does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound very entitled.

I do not u der stand why you feel you deserve the ring more than your sister does.

Because she wants it more, her grandmother promised it to her and it has very little monetary value anyways. Sister never wears the ring and doesn't care for it.

Why are you attacking OP? You sound like a failure in a family that always expects special treatment from the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound very entitled.

I do not u der stand why you feel you deserve the ring more than your sister does.

Because she wants it more, her grandmother promised it to her and it has very little monetary value anyways. Sister never wears the ring and doesn't care for it.

Why are you attacking OP? You sound like a failure in a family that always expects special treatment from the parents.

If all that is true then the OP can just (politely!) ask her sister for the ring. If Sis says "no" then the OP needs to accept it and let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound very entitled.

I do not u der stand why you feel you deserve the ring more than your sister does.

Because she wants it more, her grandmother promised it to her and it has very little monetary value anyways. Sister never wears the ring and doesn't care for it.

Why are you attacking OP? You sound like a failure in a family that always expects special treatment from the parents.

If all that is true then the OP can just (politely!) ask her sister for the ring. If Sis says "no" then the OP needs to accept it and let it go.

She asked for it and was ignored. Have you even read the thread? And she doesn't need to let anything go. Sure, she cannot do anything about the ring, but actions have consequences and she is well within her right to hold this against her sister and mother for as long as she pleases. I am sure I would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound very entitled.

I do not u der stand why you feel you deserve the ring more than your sister does.

Because she wants it more, her grandmother promised it to her and it has very little monetary value anyways. Sister never wears the ring and doesn't care for it.

Why are you attacking OP? You sound like a failure in a family that always expects special treatment from the parents.

If all that is true then the OP can just (politely!) ask her sister for the ring. If Sis says "no" then the OP needs to accept it and let it go.

She asked for it and was ignored. Have you even read the thread? And she doesn't need to let anything go. Sure, she cannot do anything about the ring, but actions have consequences and she is well within her right to hold this against her sister and mother for as long as she pleases. I am sure I would.

So the mom gave the sister the ring and now the sister is holding onto the ring just to tick the OP off. Yet, the mom still EXPECTS the OP to support her in her old age? How much sense does that even make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound very entitled.

I do not u der stand why you feel you deserve the ring more than your sister does.

Because she wants it more, her grandmother promised it to her and it has very little monetary value anyways. Sister never wears the ring and doesn't care for it.

Why are you attacking OP? You sound like a failure in a family that always expects special treatment from the parents.

If all that is true then the OP can just (politely!) ask her sister for the ring. If Sis says "no" then the OP needs to accept it and let it go.

She asked for it and was ignored. Have you even read the thread? And she doesn't need to let anything go. Sure, she cannot do anything about the ring, but actions have consequences and she is well within her right to hold this against her sister and mother for as long as she pleases. I am sure I would.

So the mom gave the sister the ring and now the sister is holding onto the ring just to tick the OP off. Yet, the mom still EXPECTS the OP to support her in her old age? How much sense does that even make?

I dont find it that strange. Mother favors one daughter, but expects help from the other. It's not that uncommon. There are parents who take money from some children then give it others, then ask for help again. Etc etc. It's not all fair and square in many families. There is favoritism, alliances, black sheep etc. Read some literature if you don't believe me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would start therapy ASAP, you need to realize and get over the fact that your mom is either crappy or mentally ill.
And that no, you don't have to support her.
Also you can offer your sister to buy this ring from her, I bet she is like mom a lot and will go for it.

I agree with all of this, although offering to buy the ring wouldn't have occurred to me. But it's a good idea, try it! Honestly, if you can throw money at the problem in a constructive way, do it. If she says no, you know she's either really crazy or also sentimentally attached to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound very entitled.

I do not u der stand why you feel you deserve the ring more than your sister does.

Because she wants it more, her grandmother promised it to her and it has very little monetary value anyways. Sister never wears the ring and doesn't care for it.

Why are you attacking OP? You sound like a failure in a family that always expects special treatment from the parents.

If all that is true then the OP can just (politely!) ask her sister for the ring. If Sis says "no" then the OP needs to accept it and let it go.

She asked for it and was ignored. Have you even read the thread? And she doesn't need to let anything go. Sure, she cannot do anything about the ring, but actions have consequences and she is well within her right to hold this against her sister and mother for as long as she pleases. I am sure I would.

So the mom gave the sister the ring and now the sister is holding onto the ring just to tick the OP off. Yet, the mom still EXPECTS the OP to support her in her old age? How much sense does that even make?

I dont find it that strange. Mother favors one daughter, but expects help from the other. It's not that uncommon. There are parents who take money from some children then give it others, then ask for help again. Etc etc. It's not all fair and square in many families. There is favoritism, alliances, black sheep etc. Read some literature if you don't believe me.

I believe you. But there is no indication that I've seen that the OP has given her mom any money or helped her mom out at all. In fact, the OP is mad about a ring (of little monetary value) that her Mom didn't give to HER but instead gave to her sister. Sorry, it just sounds kind of entitled and petty to me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a ring
Get over it
I got zero jewelry from my grandma bc I was born after she wrote the will
Sucks but oh we'll, not worth causing family strife
Just bc you have more money and will be more able to support your mom if she needs it doesn't mean you deserve the jewelry more

It kind of does, though.

Why? If anything, the less well off sibling deserves more inheritance.

If it was worth a lot and u thought you might need to sell it to support mom, that would be one thing, but why should one sibling get an heirloom just because she makes more money? That makes no sense

Why would a less well off sibling "deserve" a larger inheiritance? That is insane. So someone who saves money and is responsible deserves less than someone who blows through every penny? Ridiculous.

Or one sibling has always worked in lower paying job that helps the world, like teaching, nursing..... and the richer one is a amoral Big Law lawyer who makes too much money.

You can spin it anyway you want to and make either child more or less deserving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound very entitled.

I do not u der stand why you feel you deserve the ring more than your sister does.

Because she wants it more, her grandmother promised it to her and it has very little monetary value anyways. Sister never wears the ring and doesn't care for it.

Why are you attacking OP? You sound like a failure in a family that always expects special treatment from the parents.

If all that is true then the OP can just (politely!) ask her sister for the ring. If Sis says "no" then the OP needs to accept it and let it go.

She asked for it and was ignored. Have you even read the thread? And she doesn't need to let anything go. Sure, she cannot do anything about the ring, but actions have consequences and she is well within her right to hold this against her sister and mother for as long as she pleases. I am sure I would.

So the mom gave the sister the ring and now the sister is holding onto the ring just to tick the OP off. Yet, the mom still EXPECTS the OP to support her in her old age? How much sense does that even make?

I dont find it that strange. Mother favors one daughter, but expects help from the other. It's not that uncommon. There are parents who take money from some children then give it others, then ask for help again. Etc etc. It's not all fair and square in many families. There is favoritism, alliances, black sheep etc. Read some literature if you don't believe me.

I believe you. But there is no indication that I've seen that the OP has given her mom any money or helped her mom out at all. In fact, the OP is mad about a ring (of little monetary value) that her Mom didn't give to HER but instead gave to her sister. Sorry, it just sounds kind of entitled and petty to me...

It doesn't sound petty at all. The ring has a lot of value for OP but very little for her sister. No, she is not entitled to the ring (though her grandma offered it to her many times) but it would be nice if her mother and sister gave it to her since she cares about it that much. If they dont want to play nice and do her even a small favor, then neither should OP; it should be a two-way street.

She mentioned that this pattern of behavior is typical of her mom and that moms long term care will largely fall on OP.

[Anonymous]

I would have a big old bonfire in my back yard before I would allow my children to squabble over *stuff* like this. Stuff can be replaced, sisters can't be. So very sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have a big old bonfire in my back yard before I would allow my children to squabble over *stuff* like this. Stuff can be replaced, sisters can't be. So very sad.

The mom appears to be a major cause of squabble in this case. It's probably something she has been doing for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have a big old bonfire in my back yard before I would allow my children to squabble over *stuff* like this. Stuff can be replaced, sisters can't be. So very sad.

The mom appears to be a major cause of squabble in this case. It's probably something she has been doing for a long time.

Then the OP should be well aware of her mom's tendency to create drama in the family. Next time an older relative offers to give the OP an heirloom the OP should accept it right then and there.