My grandmother's ring
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Anonymous
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My mother gave my grandmother's ring, the one piece of jewelry I wanted, to my sister without asking then offered to sell me another piece of jewelry if I wanted it (no my sister didn't pay for the ring). This happened a few months ago and is still bothering. My mother claims she gave it to my sister without my sister asking for because she wanted her to have a "nice ring" and because I'm married I have one. Now this ring is not an expensive ring at all but it is highly sentimental to me and if I had it I would wear it every day. When I saw my sister last she wasn't wearing it, but ironically she was sporting her new engagement ring. My mother promised to ask my sister if she really wanted my grandmother's ring, but never has.
These are the two things that are eating me up. 1) I e-mailed my sister to talk about this and she never e-mailed me back. She ignored me. 2) My mother will need financial help soon and it will likely fall much more on me than my sister. Should I bother addressing 1) with my sister? As in, hey it just sucks that you never responded to my e-mail about grandmom's ring. It would have been nice if we could talk about it. Something like that? I have enough money to buy myself something really nice but I really wanted that ring. Unfortunately it was the only piece of jewelry like that. And my grandmother had offered it to me many, many times while she was alive, but I never took it because it was "her's." I don't really have a question about my mom. I'm just pissed off that she sucks and I'll have to help her out. This incident is just normal for her. |
Anonymous
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that's awful of your mother.
i would let your sister know what the ring meant to you but at the end of the day it was given to her and currently, it's hers. and she isn't the one to be mad at so i wouldn't start a war over it. but letting her know what it meant to you might help. you could offer to buy the other ring from your mother to give to your sister if she would want that ring. i would be pretty pissed at my mom for doing that though. we recently went through my grandmother's belongings and my cousin did some really mean and shady things during the process and its really hard to forget about it. i keep trying to tell myself my grandma would think its ridiculous for us to be fighting over any of this stuff, so i try and ignore how she acted. but it left a sour taste in my mouth and its hard to forget. |
Anonymous
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And if she gave it to u
Ur sister would be posting Grandma should have willed it to the person she wanted to have it |
Anonymous
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OP, my sister ignored my e-mail asking about it. I just said was it important to you, if so that is fine and I'm glad you have it, but I don't know because mom just gave it to you without asking.
My sister and I seem to grow further apart every year, this just has been a big deal for me. Why couldn't she act like an adult and communicate about this? |
Anonymous
See I don't know that because she got the ring without asking for it and never said she wanted it. |
Anonymous
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I'm still stuck on the part where your mom offered TO SELL you a piece of jewelry. Did I read that right? A parent was looking to make a profit from HER dead mother by selling to her own daughter?
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Anonymous
| Call your sister and talk to her. Tell her gently that it was very sentimental to you and that if she felt like she could part with the ring you would really like to have it to remember your grandmother. If she says no, then make peace with it. Your mom is creating drama so leave her out of whatever you decide to do. |
Anonymous
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Shame on your Mom. She's crappy.
Sis should have responded, but probably felt awkward and wants to avoid the discussion. She should put on her big girl panties though, and call you. Don't be mad at her though. Its not her fault your Mom made a shitty decision. Don't expect any genuine kindness from either... its how you can protect yourself from further hurt. Sad but true. |
Anonymous
Yes, yes she did. It did not feel good, so thanks for thinking it was a crap thing to do. |
Anonymous
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The reality is, you should always assume that when someone dies, you will get NOTHING, no matter what they tell you.
Tell your mother no, you will not be BUYING your dead grandmother's jewelry off her and you are offended and disappointed that she'd have proposed that. Tell your sister face to face (or over the phone) that you would really love that ring that your mom gave her, and your grandma promised it to you. Then let your sister decide whatever she decides. If she decides to keep it, you need to decide if your sisterly relationship is worth throwing away over a ring. Then go cry to your best friend about how unfair the whole thing is before going to your lawyer to firm up your will where you designate exactly which of your children gets which pieces of your jewelry. |
Anonymous
I am pretty sure this cannot be the mom's first time of fostering a wedge between the two sisters. |
Anonymous
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It's a ring
Get over it I got zero jewelry from my grandma bc I was born after she wrote the will Sucks but oh we'll, not worth causing family strife Just bc you have more money and will be more able to support your mom if she needs it doesn't mean you deserve the jewelry more |
Anonymous
It kind of does, though. |
Anonymous
Why? If anything, the less well off sibling deserves more inheritance. If it was worth a lot and u thought you might need to sell it to support mom, that would be one thing, but why should one sibling get an heirloom just because she makes more money? That makes no sense |
Anonymous
it's not because she makes more money, it's because she gives more money (if she does). It's called gratitude. |