What does your husband think/say when you gain weight
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
My DH doesn't like it. I weigh about 13 pounds more than I really want to, and about 18-23 pounds more than I dream of weighing. I did weigh my dream weight about 5 years ago, but I ate nothing. Since then, I have become much more sedentary and I also started to stress eat. All the weight goes to my stomach.
He wants us both to work out more and lose weight, but at the moment he has less to lose than I do and is better about motiviating himself to work out. I get tired of hearing about it all the time, honestly, but I also know I need to lose the weight. What is worse than my husband's focus on this for both him and me, is my doctor's. I always comforted myself with the thought that I was really trying to be skinny, and maybe I should acceopt average at almost 50 years old + following two kids and three ab surgeries for various medical things (well, one was a c-section but the others were not). My doctor has me weighing in every two weeks and kept asking me at a recent checkup whether my husband was refusing to have sex with me. Apparently 132 lbs is obese for 5'4". So my little comfort idea that it wasn't really so bad was all wrong. I had a bad enough body image my entire life and flirted with anexoria throughout middle school, so the official stamp that now I really do have a fat body is very painful. |
Anonymous
| DH has his gripes and requests, but thank goodness this is not one of them. |
Anonymous
OP, this is me too (i have gained 40 lbs after 2 kids and 9 years of marriage). my DH is a saint, would never say anything, but our sex life has taken a hit and i attribute it partly to my weight gain (i don't think that is the whole story, a lot of it is us being tired running around after two kids under the age of 4). i have started working out again (finally) and having some success on WW the past 2 weeks so i think i am FINALLY committed to getting at least 20lbs off. i think that will make a huge difference for both of us. good luck! |
Anonymous
He tells me he loves my big butt  that said, he also talks about how fit I was before I was pregnant so I think he would like me to get back there. But he doesn't put any pressure on me because he knows life right now is totally different and does not give me time to do long workouts every day anymore! I think he also knows how much I miss exercise so he wants me to get that part if my life back so I stop complaining about it I am about 20 lbs over my pregnancy weight (148, 5-5).
|
Anonymous
|
"We need to get healthy"
"We need to start going to the gym more" "I heard on NPR today" (insert evidence of how being overweight is sure sign of heart disease, cancer, subtext of moral turpitude and failure, and most alarmingly the destruction of our great country) |
Anonymous
You need a new doctor. |
Anonymous
Your BMI is completely normal and not even on the edge of overweight (and thus far far away from obese). I agree with PP that you need a new doctor if he really said those things (it sounds like you might be reading into it a bit) and think you might also need a more reasonable husband or a chance to talk to a therapist about food issues so that you view your body, food, and discussions about food more appropriately. Hugs! |
Anonymous
Yeah, 132 is not obese or overweight for 5'4. Overweight starts around 145 and obese at 170 for that height. |
Anonymous
| I agree that 132 is not obese for that height. But I also want to add that BMI does not take into account body frame and other variables. Please see another doctor or specialist that can give you a more realistic idea of what YOU should weigh, and not a national "average." Good luck! |
Anonymous
| I am now 30lbs. overweight. My DH is pretty supportive, mostly he worries because I am pre-diabetic. I am starting Weight Watchers, and he keeps asking me "When is your first weight in?" I can tell he wants me to go. I know it is because of my health. I am starting this week, and hopefully I can get myself in shape! |
Anonymous
|
My husband does not give a shit. Seriously.
Im 5'9" and peaked at a heafty 190 and am back down to 145. At both weights he would come home with all kinds of crazy sex accessories...vibrators, anal beads, kinky costumes, tie downs, nipple clamps, and crotchless underware. If he had an issue he never said it and his dick was always hard lile an 18yr old boy. I want a set of fake tits and the only thing holding me back is that i know my husband is going tp want to stick his dick inbetween them all thr time. Not sure if i am ready for the harassment. |
Anonymous
| Um, isn't this the non-explicit forum? |
Anonymous
| i'd rather he just loved me and found me attractive no matter what size i am, which he does and i appreciate. |
Anonymous
Do you not see how freakishly inappropriate it is for a medical professional to even contemplate asking you a question like this??? Is he just your doctor or do you two have a social connection that makes him think it is remotely okay to have these words come out of his mouth?? Seriously, I am going WTF reading this, so you should have been triple WTF hearing it. |
Anonymous
| A lot of you are delusional. Surprise - your husbands DO CARE when you gain weight (except for the skinnies here). |