What does your husband think/say when you gain weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are so freaking delusional. DH doesn't say anything about your weight because he knows you would skin him alive. A husband asking for a blue cheese salad once a week or suggesting walks after dinner isn't gonna help you drop 20lbs. That takes hard work and sacrifice motivated from within. If you truly care, then do it. If you don't have it in you, fine, but don't fool yourself thinking DH doesn't care.

Maybe this is the case with you...but my husband loves who I am. As a matter of fact- if anything- he prefers me a little thicker (he loves curves) but I feel VERY confident that my husband cares more about who I am as a person than what I weigh. Not everyone is shallow. FWIW- he finds Carrie Fisher (modern day version) attractive. Not because she is drop dead gorgeous (like in the Princess Leah days.....but because she is funny and witty. THAT is a turn on to him. Someone he can have an intelligent conversation with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are so freaking delusional. DH doesn't say anything about your weight because he knows you would skin him alive. A husband asking for a blue cheese salad once a week or suggesting walks after dinner isn't gonna help you drop 20lbs. That takes hard work and sacrifice motivated from within. If you truly care, then do it. If you don't have it in you, fine, but don't fool yourself thinking DH doesn't care.

Maybe this is the case with you...but my husband loves who I am. As a matter of fact- if anything- he prefers me a little thicker (he loves curves) but I feel VERY confident that my husband cares more about who I am as a person than what I weigh. Not everyone is shallow. FWIW- he finds Carrie Fisher (modern day version) attractive. Not because she is drop dead gorgeous (like in the Princess Leah days.....but because she is funny and witty. THAT is a turn on to him. Someone he can have an intelligent conversation with.

Your husband is truly brilliant.... He's got you going so good you actually believe he's turned on by Carrie Fisher.

[Anonymous]

PP, LOL!

[Anonymous]

my husband is disgusted with me. he feels I lack the motivation to change and lose the 20lb or so. he wanted to get me liposuction and a tummy tuck but determined he could not afford it.

[Anonymous]

It's a sensitive subject. Nobody wants to hurt feelings, but there is a tipping point where, while we love you and won't cheat on you for getting fat, there's also a loss of attraction.

We can pretend that men get hard from pure personality, but then you're just deluding yourself.

While pregnancy is a valid reason, many women use pregnancy as an excuse to eat. A lot. A LOT. "I'm eating for two."

So, then it's not just normal "baby weight," but an additional "I ate like a slob" weight.

As someone who takes care of his own weight by simply not overindulging and doing some occasional exercise, there is no excuse as to why someone should be OBESE. I'm ok with a woman with some extra weight and even turned on by them. They can be very curvy, but curvy isn't synonymous with round.

So, I may love you. Be devoted to you. Never cheat on you. But I am getting my visuals from the women in right dresses and heels because you in your oversized sweats and crocs are not doing it. Fix the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a sensitive subject. Nobody wants to hurt feelings, but there is a tipping point where, while we love you and won't cheat on you for getting fat, there's also a loss of attraction.

We can pretend that men get hard from pure personality, but then you're just deluding yourself.

While pregnancy is a valid reason, many women use pregnancy as an excuse to eat. A lot. A LOT. "I'm eating for two."

So, then it's not just normal "baby weight," but an additional "I ate like a slob" weight.

As someone who takes care of his own weight by simply not overindulging and doing some occasional exercise, there is no excuse as to why someone should be OBESE. I'm ok with a woman with some extra weight and even turned on by them. They can be very curvy, but curvy isn't synonymous with round.

So, I may love you. Be devoted to you. Never cheat on you. But I am getting my visuals from the women in right dresses and heels because you in your oversized sweats and crocs are not doing it. Fix the problem.

do you know why she lacks the motivation and discipline to stay thin? Or don't you care about the why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a sensitive subject. Nobody wants to hurt feelings, but there is a tipping point where, while we love you and won't cheat on you for getting fat, there's also a loss of attraction.

We can pretend that men get hard from pure personality, but then you're just deluding yourself.

While pregnancy is a valid reason, many women use pregnancy as an excuse to eat. A lot. A LOT. "I'm eating for two."

So, then it's not just normal "baby weight," but an additional "I ate like a slob" weight.

As someone who takes care of his own weight by simply not overindulging and doing some occasional exercise, there is no excuse as to why someone should be OBESE. I'm ok with a woman with some extra weight and even turned on by them. They can be very curvy, but curvy isn't synonymous with round.

So, I may love you. Be devoted to you. Never cheat on you. But I am getting my visuals from the women in right dresses and heels because you in your oversized sweats and crocs are not doing it. Fix the problem.

do you know why she lacks the motivation and discipline to stay thin? Or don't you care about the why?

You say this like there has to be a deep, dark secret about why. Most people lack the motivation and discipline because they lack the motivation and discipline. Because they prefer short-term comfort over long-term gains. Because couch, icecream and telly is more fun than sweating in the workout or declining sweets.

[Anonymous]

I wasn't referring to me or my current girlfriend. I was referring to the "in general."

I think obesity is unattractive. If thinking of sexy women is the tool of getting aroused in order for us to have sex, there's a problem. No amount of "but your wife is so sweet" is going to make obesity cuter, sexier, or better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn't touch my weight with a 10 foot pole. That said, I have been a thin person throughout our relationship, fluctuating only by about 10 pounds, and even then I wear the same clothes. I was 115 5'6'' at my thinnest with him, and about 125 now.

Recently, I have gained about five pounds. This shows, to me, in my stomach area. I can pooch out a good deal of flab if I want to, and I am not comfortable wearing thin + tight shirts (because the silhouette they create, with my tighter-than-usual pants, isn't pleasant). I wouldn't wear a bikini today.

My husband HAS reacted quietly, I think. Thought he hasn't initiated conversation, when I state that I want to lose a few lbs, he says he will not comment because whatever he says is wrong. He has raised the issue of "too much candy" both for our child's benefit, and because "we are getting older and I promise you that however skinny you can be now while eating all the sweets you eat, when you turn 35 that won't be the case anymore." -- I'm not 35 yet. I eat a shitton of candy.

I recently got exercise equipment at home. He said last night, while I was talking about how excited I was to use it, that "I'm not saying you need to lose weight, you don't, and you look the same to me, but I bet you if you just cut out some candy you can achieve whatever small goals you have without doing anything else." To me this intimates, "Yep, you'd look/feel better 5 lbs thinner, so go ahead, get 5 lbs thinner."

He's sweet, meek, and I imagine would hate it if I truly got fat or really unfit. But I don't think I will. And I don't think he will either, despite him having a heavy parent.

He is right. Besides the weight, you're headed for diabetes if you keep this up. Or at least a lot of needless trips to the dentist. Whatever the motive, you cant really argue the fact that he is right about not eating candy. No redeeming quality about it. I understand why people love candy. But the best thing is to go cold turkey and resort to real fruit. Splurge at the Wegmanns or Whole Foods. Soon, you'll find out that candy is nasty.

I promise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are so freaking delusional. DH doesn't say anything about your weight because he knows you would skin him alive. A husband asking for a blue cheese salad once a week or suggesting walks after dinner isn't gonna help you drop 20lbs. That takes hard work and sacrifice motivated from within. If you truly care, then do it. If you don't have it in you, fine, but don't fool yourself thinking DH doesn't care.

Maybe this is the case with you...but my husband loves who I am. As a matter of fact- if anything- he prefers me a little thicker (he loves curves) but I feel VERY confident that my husband cares more about who I am as a person than what I weigh. Not everyone is shallow. FWIW- he finds Carrie Fisher (modern day version) attractive. Not because she is drop dead gorgeous (like in the Princess Leah days.....but because she is funny and witty. THAT is a turn on to him. Someone he can have an intelligent conversation with.

Your husband may want to have a funny and witty conversation with Carry Fisher, but he'd rather have SEX with Scarlett Johansen.

[Anonymous]

My ex left me bc I gained 40 lb. I was a size 8 when we met and left me when I was a 14 10 years later. Was not attracted to me. He got mean, cruel and treated me like the ugly fat kid the classroom. He hates fat people period.

[Anonymous]

This is why I am so glad I am not married. So glad I don't have to worry about making some shallow jerk happy.

[Anonymous]

I already know that my husband does not like fat girls. He never has and he never will. To be honest, the thought of letting myself become fat scares the hell out of me. I love healthy food, and am very active. Most of all, I love the way I look in clothes. I don't do these things for him, I do them for me.

[Anonymous]

NP here. He doesn't say anything because he is afraid to. I, on the other hand, am very comfortable commenting on and even criticizing his appearance, clothes and hygiene, but I don't say anthing critical about his weight regardless of whether he has gained or lost any because I dont want to make him feel bad or get a complex about weight. Or run-on sentences.