What does your husband think/say when you gain weight

[Anonymous]

I was talking to friends about 2013 resolutions -- and of course, loosing weight was on many of our lists. So we started talking about our husbands and what they say/think about the weight we have gained over the years.

My husband hates that I have gained weight and often makes comments about my "getting healthy" aka skinny again.
I have another girlfriend whose husband also makes it clear he does not like the weight she has gained. And, they recently fought about it.
A third friend looked at us like we were crazy and stated her husband loves her how she is (big or small) depending on the year.

Does your husband make comments about your weight?
If not, do you think he really does just love you how you are?

If he does, do you think its mean?

[Anonymous]

You meant losing weight, right?

[Anonymous]

Mine truly loves me at any weight. I find this hard to believe, but it's true. Prior boyfriends were not like that.

[Anonymous]

ha..yes!
I can't type (or spell for that matter)

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn't touch my weight with a 10 foot pole. That said, I have been a thin person throughout our relationship, fluctuating only by about 10 pounds, and even then I wear the same clothes. I was 115 5'6'' at my thinnest with him, and about 125 now.

Recently, I have gained about five pounds. This shows, to me, in my stomach area. I can pooch out a good deal of flab if I want to, and I am not comfortable wearing thin + tight shirts (because the silhouette they create, with my tighter-than-usual pants, isn't pleasant). I wouldn't wear a bikini today.

My husband HAS reacted quietly, I think. Thought he hasn't initiated conversation, when I state that I want to lose a few lbs, he says he will not comment because whatever he says is wrong. He has raised the issue of "too much candy" both for our child's benefit, and because "we are getting older and I promise you that however skinny you can be now while eating all the sweets you eat, when you turn 35 that won't be the case anymore." -- I'm not 35 yet. I eat a shitton of candy.

I recently got exercise equipment at home. He said last night, while I was talking about how excited I was to use it, that "I'm not saying you need to lose weight, you don't, and you look the same to me, but I bet you if you just cut out some candy you can achieve whatever small goals you have without doing anything else." To me this intimates, "Yep, you'd look/feel better 5 lbs thinner, so go ahead, get 5 lbs thinner."

He's sweet, meek, and I imagine would hate it if I truly got fat or really unfit. But I don't think I will. And I don't think he will either, despite him having a heavy parent.

[Anonymous]

How much weight are we talking about? Because there's that whole having kids thing to contend with...I think 20-25 lbs over the course of a decade or two isn't that much.

[Anonymous]

My husband says absolutely nothing. I say absolutely nothing about his weight fluctuation. Granted, neither of us move more than 5-10 lbs from our "happy weight."

Have you gained or lost a significant amount of weight for him to comment?

[Anonymous]

My husband actually likes the weight gain and the bigger breasts and butt that has resulted. He seems to totally ignore the bigger gut and thighs that came with the package.

He does not like when I get too slim; thinks I look like a teen girl (which is partly true). Still, my plan is to lose 30 lbs which should put me at a sweet spot (thick, but not chubby).

[Anonymous]

My gaining 30 lbs over the course of 15 years was a huge, fatal problem in my former marriage. My husband was disgusted, turned off sexually and told me all the time that I lacked discipline.

I went from a size 10/12 to a solid 14. For those who will scream "but but vanity sizing!!", that's not in play here. I can still squeeze into a few size 12s I bought in 2001.

Since I know someone will ask, I'm not unhappy with my weight and I'm in great health.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't say anything (he prefers me at a curvy /big boobed size 10 than a skinny size 4). In the past when I've gained weight or gone up to a 12, I tell DH i want to go on a diet /exercise plan, he agrees and says we'll work on it together. He's also put on about 20 pounds in the last 2 years so he usually wants to work on it too.

That said, DS is 2 months old and I'm about 10 pounds lighter than my pre -pregnancy weight. Can definitely tell DH's increased attraction when we have sexy time

[Anonymous]

DH here.

You putting on a few extra pounds doesn't bother me nearly as much as you going on about how unhappy it makes you and how you're going to diet. When you do this in front of our daughters, I get really upset. But I hold me tongue.

So, it's not your physical appearance that bothers me but your attitude about it.

[Anonymous]

He loves it, I didn't gain a whole lot after our two kids, but the little I did he loves, more to grab he says. Doesn't like it when he notices I'm losing it again.

[Anonymous]

My husband says nothing, however, I put in a lot of hard work to stay in shape. I would expect him to be worried about me and say something if I did not eat properly or exercise.

I have mentioned his weight before. He has lost 50lbs, very much so started with my prodding.

[Anonymous]

OP here: yea, this is totally embarrassing but I have gained a lot of weight. I was 125 (I am 5'6") when we started dating (very fit). When I turned 30 I was at my (then highest) 150. But still like a 4, sometimes 6. I worked out a lot.

Got preggs went up to 200. Had the kid went down to 155...and then I have gained like 10 lbs/year for the last year. Which puts me where I am now at 190 or so.

So, short answer...I have gained 45 lbs since just after we got married 5 years ago. OMG...THAT IS SO BAD. I have not sat down and thought about it like that.

[Anonymous]

Mine says absolutely nothing negative and I wish he would. He always says I look sexy and just fine, then tries to "prove" it to me by getting all amorous. I wish he'd be honest though b/c it makes me doubt his compliments.