DCUM classics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(10) Shooshing child at IHOP

Abstract: OP upset that her happy three year old got shooshed when greeting an older couple in an IHOP. Remarkably, thread turns into an all out war, one side demanding that three year olds be allowed to babble at will, and others arguing that parents need to control their children in public. Interesting arguments about the spelling of ‘shoosh’, whether there is a double standard between toddler babbling in public and homeless people babbling in public, and demands for the full transcript of events at the pancake house.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/141796.page

LOL!

[Anonymous]

OMG OP, you are hilarious! More! More!

[Anonymous]

OP Quit your job. All of us who need some levity in life will get together, pool our money and pay you to keep writing. Honestly, put your abstracts in a book and you have a bestseller. Really do it -- this is hilarious! Incidentally, thank you.

[Anonymous]

These sound like movie pitches, albeit really bad movies.

[Anonymous]

(17) How do you count your baby’s age?

Abstract: OP, in trying to calculate her baby’s age for the purposes of buying clothing, reveals a bit of a math weakness. This sets off some hilarious similar math calculations and suggestions for OP to simply estimate her baby’s size by comparing her with supermarket poultry items.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/136725.page

[Anonymous]

(18) Does asking you to take off shoes in home offend you?

Abstract: OP asks about etiquette on asking visitors to take off shoes in her house. Most of the thread remains friendly, with interesting viewpoints on hygiene, hospitality, and ugly foot considerations. Naturally, that can’t last forever, and midway through thread turns more colorful with rants about tuberculosis, the use of the term ‘McMansions’ and why it’s inconsiderate to make someone roll up long pants. Look for recurring insinuation that shoes are simply foot-long ferries for animal feces.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/36412.page

[Anonymous]

I'm laughing so hard I'm tearing up. Hilarious OP. Thank you!!!

[Anonymous]

Love the baby age one - before my time. Now I want to start a thread just to see the synopsis. Maybe one on the merits of Pandora bracelets and the profile of the owners of said bracelets?

Keep em coming. Must be something good in the private school thread.

[Anonymous]

Don't stop, OP!!!

[Anonymous]

Love this. The abstract addition rocks. Keep it comin' OP..maybe Jeff can give you a job with DCUM .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(1) Burgundy washcloths

Abstract: Lady claims she will forego tampons or sanitary napkins from now on and simply stuff a burgundy washcloth in her panties. Thread goes viral when someone mentions you can buy re-usable crocheted tampons.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/88777.page

I mentioned the tampons. LOL

Thank you. The photo of the crocheted tampon was the funniest thing I've seen in, uh, hmmm....... I'll be laughing about it for eternity.

Your comment made me think I should send these to my sisters. They would be mortified and in hysterics at the same time.

[Anonymous]

OP Please, please do this one!

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/130382.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
(16) Would you let your daughter have long scraggly hair?

Abstract: OP comes out fighting against scraggly haired ragamuffins and their Chico clothes-wearing bi-level haircut moms. Probably trolling, but inspirational nonetheless, with useful commentary on toddler pageants and monogrammed rompers. As in many other funny threads, Chico’s makes a cameo in its recurring role as clothing store for the 40-something mom whose lost all motivation for looking feminine.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/111295.page

Losing my shit at this thread. CHICCO'S WEARER!

[Anonymous]

Is Chicco's cumfy? - I should check that out then - I think it's the only clothing store in the main McLean shopping center (other than Jos A. Bank). Thanks for the tip!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Please, please do this one!

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/130382.page

+1