DCUM classics

[Anonymous]

I'm in awe, OP. Please don't forget "Getting into St. Alban's" (hasn't it set some sort of record at this point for number of posts?) and (this is not quite the right title, but) "What Were You Doing When You Learned of Big 3 Admission?" Classic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pinecone Boy

Abstract OP is reporting live with a real post from her neighborhood listserv, which details how a child threw a pinecone at a passing car and was distraught when driver of said car stopped to yell at mom to tell her kid not to throw pinecones. May have ultimately died a 1-2 page death if not for the fact Mom's email signature was included, which was "Tread softly, for you tread on my dreams."

Discussion began at first with whether the mom had a point or the driver was being a jerk, then morphed into how a child could hit a car with a pinecone had he simply been removing it from his carseat as mom claimed. Tangential discussion of what exactly is a listserv is a fun digression, but ultimately the thread is defined by DCUM bringing all its literary knowledge to bear and suggesting apropos quotes for a helicopter mom of a pinecone snowflake to have on her email sig.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/314104.page

Lol hearing about this pine cone thread from a mutual friend of pine cone lady is what introduced me to dcum!!

[Anonymous]

OP abstractor extraordinaire, thank you! Long time lurker and less frequent poster but I've just discovered your (bumped thread) and I'm home alone cackling and howling with laughter! Really, tears streaming down my face and everything.

I came home from a rough day at work, climbed into bed and planned to read a few dcum threads, conk out asleep. You've rejuvenated me! More, please! I'm going back to read your works and laugh some more.

You said you like organizing, but I'm curious, OP -- care to give any details about yourself? Are you a writer? Journalist? Lawyer? You're really good.

[Anonymous]

Here is a new one to add to the classics:

Cats as bridesmaids

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/811958.page

Abstract: The original poster has a cousin who is getting married. This cousin volunteers at a cat rescue place. In order to get people to adopt cats, she wants cats to be the members of the wedding party. The human members of the wedding party are just there to carry the cats down the aisle. Cats and humans will wear matching attire. The bride's sister has backed out of the wedding because she is allergic to cats. The bride has now asked OP to be in the wedding. The bride also wants OP to wear the same bridesmaid dress as the one that was made for the bride's sister. Trouble is, the sister weighs 100 pounds more than the OP and the bride doesn't want OP to alter the dress in case the sister changes her mind.

[Anonymous]

This was my real Valentine's Day treat!! Love this! lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4 yo called my xmas pancakes disgusting

Abstract: The title of the thread lays out the issue at hand, but when OP's first sentence is "They were delicious, btw," it becomes clear DCUMers are dealing with no typical OP. OP, for reasons that are murky, demanded everyone eat Christmas pancakes when she was starving. This unfortunately interrupted her child's Christmas present opening. The 4 yo responded as 4 yo's will do and a pissed OP sent her to her room, because it was "mean" of her to call the delicious pancakes disgusting.

Battle lines were quickly drawn between posters who thought it was normal and reasonable to make a 4 yo stop opening presents so her mom could eat and posters who believed OP had set up her 4 yo for disappointment and should have just waited until presents were done or eaten something to cure her hunger. The thread could easily have stopped several pages in except for the tantalizing combination of yet another contentious food item causing familial strife, a recalcitrant and long-winded defensive OP, and a Christmas morning posting time ensuring many posters had time to engage. It brings all the holiday drama one expects from DCUM.


http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/691288.page

OP you have a gift! This one actually made me laugh out loud!

[Anonymous]

The thread about “the lifestyle of the upper middle class.” Or the one about the “coronavirus related structure” being taken out of someone’s yard.

[Anonymous]

The Bindi Irwin thread

[Anonymous]

Anyone remember the woman who asked if it was ok to pump while sitting at a conference table with her entire office? That was crazy/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thread about “the lifestyle of the upper middle class.” Or the one about the “coronavirus related structure” being taken out of someone’s yard.

This was the best one. I'm not talented enough to write an abstract that will do that thread justice. Perhaps the Abstractor Extraordinaire will do us the favor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in awe, OP. Please don't forget "Getting into St. Alban's" (hasn't it set some sort of record at this point for number of posts?) and (this is not quite the right title, but) "What Were You Doing When You Learned of Big 3 Admission?" Classic.

This one is spectacular.

[Anonymous]

This is a classic

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/135/745020.page#13471885

[Anonymous]

OP never came back. Can clearly tell the difference between OP and imposters. Keep bumping this thread to wish her well during this time, and to come back. Or ask Dcum Psychic to summon her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP never came back. Can clearly tell the difference between OP and imposters. Keep bumping this thread to wish her well during this time, and to come back. Or ask Dcum Psychic to summon her.

Maybe OP got a life. This thread dates back to 2012.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're still around reading, THANK YOU! This is just what I needed on a crappy pandemic day that started off with a fight with my DH. Oh well wait it's the fight from last night spilling over.