DCUM classics

[Anonymous]

Blondes and SUVs

Abstract: Discussion of the inverse relationship between the size of the blonde and her SUV. 18 pages of classic DCUM observations and wisdom.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/261673.page

[Anonymous]

Pinecone Boy

Abstract OP is reporting live with a real post from her neighborhood listserv, which details how a child threw a pinecone at a passing car and was distraught when driver of said car stopped to yell at mom to tell her kid not to throw pinecones. May have ultimately died a 1-2 page death if not for the fact Mom's email signature was included, which was "Tread softly, for you tread on my dreams."

Discussion began at first with whether the mom had a point or the driver was being a jerk, then morphed into how a child could hit a car with a pinecone had he simply been removing it from his carseat as mom claimed. Tangential discussion of what exactly is a listserv is a fun digression, but ultimately the thread is defined by DCUM bringing all its literary knowledge to bear and suggesting apropos quotes for a helicopter mom of a pinecone snowflake to have on her email sig.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/314104.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pinecone Boy

Abstract OP is reporting live with a real post from her neighborhood listserv, which details how a child threw a pinecone at a passing car and was distraught when driver of said car stopped to yell at mom to tell her kid not to throw pinecones. May have ultimately died a 1-2 page death if not for the fact Mom's email signature was included, which was "Tread softly, for you tread on my dreams."

Discussion began at first with whether the mom had a point or the driver was being a jerk, then morphed into how a child could hit a car with a pinecone had he simply been removing it from his carseat as mom claimed. Tangential discussion of what exactly is a listserv is a fun digression, but ultimately the thread is defined by DCUM bringing all its literary knowledge to bear and suggesting apropos quotes for a helicopter mom of a pinecone snowflake to have on her email sig.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/314104.page

Is this the original OP from 2012?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(1) Burgundy washcloths

Abstract: Lady claims she will forego tampons or sanitary napkins from now on and simply stuff a burgundy washcloth in her panties. Thread goes viral when someone mentions you can buy re-usable crocheted tampons.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/88777.page

She should just wear a cloth adult diaper

[Anonymous]

LOVE these,

[Anonymous]

Some suggestions for abstracts:

Chipotle Lady
Should I take my 3 year old to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse on New Year's Eve?

[Anonymous]

LOVEthis. I was about to suggest Pinecone mother but see it was covered above!

[Anonymous]

How about "Do These Grumpy Pants Make Me Look Fat" She was the best!!

Also the DCUM psychic who predicted to the minute when someones husband would come home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did that Bobcat story ever end? I remember seeing a picture of the ring once.

They got married! If anyone deserved a DCUM bridal shower it was Bobcat girl.

I hope she lets us know when there's a kitten on the way. We could send gifts from her registry and replace the card with a book.

[Anonymous]

The How man Asaragus spears/We are Spearta thread

[Anonymous]

Whoever posted this thak you.

Laughig like crazy, but ow i'm late!!

And my n is sticking, sorry for the sometimes loss..

[Anonymous]

People need to appreciate the classics, I say.

Here you go.

[Anonymous]

Omg the Can-I-make-my-husband-get-a-vasectomy-before-we-divorce-so-he-can’t-have-future-progeny woman; drama abounds when she says future ex shouldn’t share resources with potential new half-siblings. Features a crazy new girlfriend who is newly pregnant by a man who is not allowed to see his child from a previous marriage and cries himself to sleep every night. WINNER

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Now I noticed there was an 18 page thread called DCUM Folklore a month ago. So here I am reinventing the wheel.

Sorry.

Resurrecting "Best of DCUM" ideas - another classic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Now I noticed there was an 18 page thread called DCUM Folklore a month ago. So here I am reinventing the wheel.

Sorry.

Resurrecting "Best of DCUM" ideas - another classic!

Speaking of "resurrecting" - I really need to take note of thread dates before posting.