I'm An Unmarried Mother of 4 Living w/my Male Partner, We DoNot Want To Marry. Ask Me Anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you refer to one another as husband and wife to others just to "simplify" things? If not, how do you describe one another- girlfriend, partner...?

I call him my better half, he calls me the love of his life. Good friends know we are not married, other people do not need to know our personal situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you live in a double-wide or single-wide?

We live in a house. I'm not sure I understand how your question applies to me.

Are you implying only people who live in trailers have families and do not marry. Would you say that is an appropriate remark and somewhat of an elitist remark to make? Do you look down on people who live in trailers? If so, do you think you are better than they are and that there is something wrong with living in a home that they can afford? I don't judge people based on where they live or what they live in, or make sweeping assumptions about them.

Yes, that's exactly what I'm implying, because statistically, your "choices" represent a lower socio-economic demographic.

[Anonymous]

Do your children want you to marry? If they are too young to know the difference now but want you to in the future, will you?

If your reason for not marrying is because of bad family histories of divorce, does that equate to not marrying out of insecurity about a possible eventual divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your race and ethnicity?

White from Germany

That is what I was going to guess! Very common when I lived over there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you religious?

Yes, we are.

What does your religion say about having out of wedlock children? Don't you worry that your children will be considered lower class because you and baby daddy aren't married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you religious?

Yes, we are.

What does your religion say about having out of wedlock children? Don't you worry that your children will be considered lower class because you and baby daddy aren't married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have joint bank accounts and own your home jointly?

We have a joint bank account.

We do own our house together, our deed is just not the same deed type a married couple would have. Any two (or more) people can buy a house, you don't need to be married.

Except you can't own as tenants by the entirety. Too bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you come under any pressure from family to get married? If so, how did you respond?

Since our 4 parents and step-parents have multiple divorces between them, I do not think anyone cares. They love their grandchildren and that is what they worry about, not the decisions of two adults.

Do they ever ask if your partner is really the father to all 4 kids? How do your kids feel about you not being married? Do you care how your kids feel?

[Anonymous]

Are you on Medicaid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have joint bank accounts and own your home jointly?

We have a joint bank account.

We do own our house together, our deed is just not the same deed type a married couple would have. Any two (or more) people can buy a house, you don't need to be married.

Except you can't own as tenants by the entirety. Too bad.

Why is this too bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you on Medicaid?

No. I am not. No one in my home is on Medicaid. Are you on Medicaid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you come under any pressure from family to get married? If so, how did you respond?

Since our 4 parents and step-parents have multiple divorces between them, I do not think anyone cares. They love their grandchildren and that is what they worry about, not the decisions of two adults.

Do they ever ask if your partner is really the father to all 4 kids? How do your kids feel about you not being married? Do you care how your kids feel?

We've been together for 16 plus years and our children are not 16 years old. I think the assumption is that the children are all ours as there has been no other man in my life. Of course we care how our children feel. I think they are too young at this point to have an opinion. Right now they just know they are loved and THAT is what they care about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you religious?

Yes, we are.

What does your religion say about having out of wedlock children? Don't you worry that your children will be considered lower class because you and baby daddy aren't married?

Lower class? No, I do not. It's 2012, not 1940. If you're passing judgement on my children based on my decision to not marry that says more about you than about me. I'm a graduate of Dartmouth & my partner went to UMD & then to Harvard. I am far more stable & much better off than 90% of the couples I know. Our German relatives are also not rooting their relationships in marriage. I think it's an American issue to be so judgmental over unwed couples, yet a slug like Newt can piss all over family values and it's okay. It's a hoot to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you live in a double-wide or single-wide?

We live in a house. I'm not sure I understand how your question applies to me.

Are you implying only people who live in trailers have families and do not marry. Would you say that is an appropriate remark and somewhat of an elitist remark to make? Do you look down on people who live in trailers? If so, do you think you are better than they are and that there is something wrong with living in a home that they can afford? I don't judge people based on where they live or what they live in, or make sweeping assumptions about them.

Yes, that's exactly what I'm implying, because statistically, your "choices" represent a lower socio-economic demographic.

Yes, well, statistically cocaine is an upper class white collar drug. Does that mean you are doing it?

[Anonymous]

Signing off. These "Ask me anything" threads have really been enlightening. Mostly showing how judgmental and narrow minded this crowd is.