I'm An Unmarried Mother of 4 Living w/my Male Partner, We DoNot Want To Marry. Ask Me Anything.

[Anonymous]

What religion do you practice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have body piercings?

Just my ears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your race and ethnicity?

White from Germany

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be so reckless and stupid. There are certain protections for married couples that domestic couples don't have. Plus, it's a lot easier for either of you to split because it's not like you are married.

I hope the inconvenience of a divorce isn't what stops my husband from leaving me. You sound really naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not the OP but I wondered how long until the race question would come up.
*prays* please don't be black.

Nope, I'm white. I am an American but my family is German. One of my Omas still lives there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your race and ethnicity?

White from Germany

Whew! Well it's alright then. You're not irresponsible; just hippie, crunchy and non-traditional.

[Anonymous]

It's Heidi Klum. Who knew she posted on DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have joint bank accounts and own your home jointly?

We have a joint bank account.

We do own our house together, our deed is just not the same deed type a married couple would have. Any two (or more) people can buy a house, you don't need to be married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be so reckless and stupid. There are certain protections for married couples that domestic couples don't have. Plus, it's a lot easier for either of you to split because it's not like you are married.

That is your opinion and you are entitled to it.

I have the same protections as I took time to make sure I had them, most people do not. We took time to create trusts, write up custody agreements, agree on finances, things that people do during divorce and pay dearly for. Could those things all change? Yes, they could. But your spouse could leave you tomorrow. No difference.

We have been together 16 years with no problems while I have seen 12 people marry & divorce in that time, many after only 2 or 3 years of marriage.

I do not feel I am being reckless. My commitment to my partner is no less strong than that of a married couple. I think it's stronger (see above regarding the divorces we've seen).

Our relationship is very solid, marriage would not change that, neither would any of the "protections" it offers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you come under any pressure from family to get married? If so, how did you respond?

Since our 4 parents and step-parents have multiple divorces between them, I do not think anyone cares. They love their grandchildren and that is what they worry about, not the decisions of two adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be so reckless and stupid. There are certain protections for married couples that domestic couples don't have. Plus, it's a lot easier for either of you to split because it's not like you are married.

I hope the inconvenience of a divorce isn't what stops my husband from leaving me. You sound really naive.

Naive? How so? We've been through divorce as children and with our parents. It's painful, long, and drawn out. We are *happy* the way we are. No document will change that. I feel more unmarried people will the norm in the future.

I also don't think many on this board have been to places like San Francisco, lots of unmarried couples there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's Heidi Klum. Who knew she posted on DCUM?

No, no. Not Heidi. I'm not from Germany, just my family.

My partner is the father of all four of our children. Seal is only father to 3 of Heidi's four children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be so reckless and stupid. There are certain protections for married couples that domestic couples don't have. Plus, it's a lot easier for either of you to split because it's not like you are married.

I hope the inconvenience of a divorce isn't what stops my husband from leaving me. You sound really naive.

It's not naive. It's a lot easier for someone to leave, not because they won't have the inconvenience of divorce, but because the thought process is different. Every couple I know, that said they didn't need that piece of paper, were wrong. None of them realized there was less commitment than they thought. It was too easier for one of them to cheat or leave during rough patches and always the reason was "It's not like were married".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you be so reckless and stupid. There are certain protections for married couples that domestic couples don't have. Plus, it's a lot easier for either of you to split because it's not like you are married.

I hope the inconvenience of a divorce isn't what stops my husband from leaving me. You sound really naive.

Naive? How so? We've been through divorce as children and with our parents. It's painful, long, and drawn out. We are *happy* the way we are. No document will change that. I feel more unmarried people will the norm in the future.

I also don't think many on this board have been to places like San Francisco, lots of unmarried couples there!

I'm 16:49 (the "naive" poster). I was actually talking to the person who's quote is above my own. I'm okay with your choices and don't believe marriage is a guarantee of anything. While it works for me, I can understand why many avoid it. (My Dad is on his fourth marriage).

[Anonymous]

Good for you, OP. I had my son out of wedlock, and I wish we had stayed that way - we caved to family pressure to get married, and I think it put a greater strain on our relationship. I often think I wish we had just stayed together without getting married.