Giving teenagers birth-control= Encouraging them to have sex?

[TheManWithAUsername]

I think giving teenagers genitals and hormones encourages them to have sex. I'm lookin' at you, God!

I think you're asking the wrong question (or having the wrong hypothetical argument). The first question should be, "How much worse for my child is teen pregnancy than teen sex?" Personally, my answer is "incomparably worse."

If birth control education and access will significantly decrease the real danger, who cares whether it has some small effect on the much less significant danger (assuming you think it is dangerous)?

[Anonymous]

there have been studies on this
giving teenagers information about their bodies does not make them want to go out and have sex
not telling them the truth is lying and the bible condems that.
telling them and making birth control available does not make them want to go out and do it.
if they are going to go out and do it they will regardless of whether they have b-control or not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to say it, but two studies looked at parental influence on teen sex. It turns out that the #1 factor in teens delaying sex was that their mothers disapproved of them having sex. quote]

But why is it important for teens to delay sex? We don't want them to get pregnant. We don't want them to get diseases. There are ways to prevent or reduce the risks of that.

When are we OK with our kids having sex? 17? 20? Marriage

I think I'd rather have a smart, sexually active 16 year old with a full sex education and a positive attitude about sex and her body than a 19 year old virgin with sexual hang ups.

[Anonymous]

Why bother talking to the kids? Put chastity belts on all the girls. World is way too over populated as it is. Lets keep them locked up for, hmmm,,,, about 50 years. Stand up if you are with me!

[Anonymous]

I'm alarmed that someone actually asked "WTF is super safe sex?" I guess that poster only has sex when she wants to procreate? Have fun with that. I started at 18 and have had sex pretty regularly and plan to continue well into old age if everything holds up. That means I'll have about 30 years of potential baby-making sex. Since we are done with having kids after my second is born, that means a lot of "super safe sex" has been in my past and is in my future.

Flabbergasted that someone would ask this.

[Anonymous]

TheManWithAUsername wrote:I think giving teenagers genitals and hormones encourages them to have sex. I'm lookin' at you, God!

I think you're asking the wrong question (or having the wrong hypothetical argument). The first question should be, "How much worse for my child is teen pregnancy than teen sex?" Personally, my answer is "incomparably worse."

If birth control education and access will significantly decrease the real danger, who cares whether it has some small effect on the much less significant danger (assuming you think it is dangerous)?

+1

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm alarmed that someone actually asked "WTF is super safe sex?" I guess that poster only has sex when she wants to procreate? Have fun with that. I started at 18 and have had sex pretty regularly and plan to continue well into old age if everything holds up. That means I'll have about 30 years of potential baby-making sex. Since we are done with having kids after my second is born, that means a lot of "super safe sex" has been in my past and is in my future.

Flabbergasted that someone would ask this.

I am sure the poster knows what safe sex is but just found it weird that someone would say SUPER safe sex. It was sort of a joke between the two posters if you read the other post that followed... but anyways, hope everything holds up, or better yet, stays up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to say it, but two studies looked at parental influence on teen sex. It turns out that the #1 factor in teens delaying sex was that their mothers disapproved of them having sex. quote]

But why is it important for teens to delay sex? We don't want them to get pregnant. We don't want them to get diseases. There are ways to prevent or reduce the risks of that.

When are we OK with our kids having sex? 17? 20? Marriage

I think I'd rather have a smart, sexually active 16 year old with a full sex education and a positive attitude about sex and her body than a 19 year old virgin with sexual hang ups.

Those aren't the only two choices. Maybe that's what MTV and Hollywood preach as gospel, but it is simply not true. Young people can have a healthy, full, real understanding of and appreciation for sex, be smart and attractive, and live chaste lives. Why is that so hard to imagine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm alarmed that someone actually asked "WTF is super safe sex?" I guess that poster only has sex when she wants to procreate? Have fun with that. I started at 18 and have had sex pretty regularly and plan to continue well into old age if everything holds up. That means I'll have about 30 years of potential baby-making sex. Since we are done with having kids after my second is born, that means a lot of "super safe sex" has been in my past and is in my future.

Flabbergasted that someone would ask this.

I am sure the poster knows what safe sex is but just found it weird that someone would say SUPER safe sex. It was sort of a joke between the two posters if you read the other post that followed... but anyways, hope everything holds up, or better yet, stays up.

For me it's just about using two forms of birth control/STD control but that I knew my options, was educated, was sleeping with a good guy who loved me, and it was his first time too, and it was planned, in a safe place (his room, his parents were pretty open that way). I still keep in touch with him along with the rest of that gang of high school friends I knew since elementary school. Compared to so many of my friend's first times, it was super safe. Everything from a friend of mine in college who admitted to having sex at 14 with this perv in his early 20s because she was curious but never saw him again, to a friend who was just desperate to lose her virginity so did it at a college frat party, completely drunk, with a total asshole we went to school with. They were both lucky they didn't get pregnant or worse.

So I do think there is a spectrum of dangerous to super safe.

[Anonymous]

A teenager is going to find a way to have sex if they want to. I did at that age and its not difficult to find a place.

I would rather my DD be protected then pregnant. There are only so many "stay abstinent" talks you can have because they will do what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 35 and I don't think I grew up in a particularly progressive town (some would argue it was the opposite of progressive) but we started having sex ed in the 6th grade. I switched to a very well renowned private school in 7th grade and we had sex ed every year. And pretty intense sex ed in high school, like talking about everything from date rape and domestic violence to learning how to put on a condom. And I remember learning about my period and what happens every month, the reproductive system, etc., much earlier in Girl Scouts, in maybe 4th grade. But I don't recall us talking about condoms or birth control.

I had sex when I fell in love for the first time when I was 18, the summer after I graduated from high school. And it was super safe sex too. I don't think education prompts kids to have early sex, I think it's a self esteem thing, at least for girls. I have two (very young) daughters and it's hard to say how I'll feel, but I suspect I'll want them educated pretty early on about their options, while encouraging them to wait. I agree with a PP, the Bush Administration proved that abstinence doesn't work.

Agree with this. Was my experience as well.

[Anonymous]

My parents believe that people should not have sex until they are married, and they were very clear as to their reasons. They made sure that my sister and I understood the biology, and discussed the possible emotional and physical consequences. They also knew that we were both confident, athletic girls who had respect for ourselves. They would never, ever, have given us birth control. Their message was unified and unmitigated, and they knew their audience. The message stuck, at least through my first year of college, and after that I think I made healthy, self-respecting choices about sex partners. Same for my sister.

I think you just need to know your kids, and know what works best for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents believe that people should not have sex until they are married, and they were very clear as to their reasons. They made sure that my sister and I understood the biology, and discussed the possible emotional and physical consequences. They also knew that we were both confident, athletic girls who had respect for ourselves. They would never, ever, have given us birth control. Their message was unified and unmitigated, and they knew their audience. The message stuck, at least through my first year of college, and after that I think I made healthy, self-respecting choices about sex partners. Same for my sister.

I think you just need to know your kids, and know what works best for them.

I think your parents' approach can work with a lot of kids, boys and girls. I went to a religious college so I met quite a few kids who were raised the way you were. These boys were a bit too repressed for my taste, but most of them ended up marrying girls who shared their values and appreciated what they had to offer. Many of them were virgins on their wedding night and, as far as I know, few regretted it. However, I don't think it would undermine the message at all if your parents said: "This is what we believe. But if you ever choose differently, know that we will still love you and you can always come to us for help, including help with obtaining reliable birth control." Then on a different day casually let it slip in front of the kids that there are some loose condoms in a drawer in the basement and no one knows for sure how many.

[Anonymous]

This thread brings up a lot of emotions for me. I'm one of those "unusual/rare" sorts, according to what I'm sensing from most of the posters here, who was not intimate with a man until later in life (beyond my 20s -- gasp). To top it off, it hasn't been easy to get into it, probably because I wasn't experienced. I suppose I was a late bloomer, so I wasn't one of those confident young teens, far from what I'm seeing/hearing about among young people today. My parents didn't have any talk with me about intimacy (probably because in their generation they didn't get the talk either, and maybe because I wasn't the sort who was growing up too fast). In school, we got the very basic info about intimacy. What amazes me these days is that teens are so confident -- with their physicality, their emotions (maybe). I suppose it's good for them, to have that empowerment. But scary, too, if they are too adventurous, and don't look out for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to say it, but two studies looked at parental influence on teen sex. It turns out that the #1 factor in teens delaying sex was that their mothers disapproved of them having sex. quote]

But why is it important for teens to delay sex? We don't want them to get pregnant. We don't want them to get diseases. There are ways to prevent or reduce the risks of that.

When are we OK with our kids having sex? 17? 20? Marriage

I think I'd rather have a smart, sexually active 16 year old with a full sex education and a positive attitude about sex and her body than a 19 year old virgin with sexual hang ups.

Those aren't the only two choices. Maybe that's what MTV and Hollywood preach as gospel, but it is simply not true. Young people can have a healthy, full, real understanding of and appreciation for sex, be smart and attractive, and live chaste lives. Why is that so hard to imagine?

But WHY must a teen live a chaste life? If they are responsible about birth control and their health, why is sex SO TERRIBLE? You don't answer the question - how old is old enough to have premarital sex? Or are we going with biblical approach here - not until marriage, even if that's much, much later in life?