What would you do? E Coast (fed job, no family) vs. W Coast (no job, family)

[Anonymous]

Thanks for advice about living in DC.

Yes, he's working on setting up appointments with several people who do what he wants to do figure out the feasbility of his plan.

To the person who's 60 and working 2 full-time jobs that are physically demanding. Have you asked him whether he wishes he had done something different in his life when he was younger, even if it was risky, to avoid being in that situation when he's 60? That's what we're trying to do.

[Anonymous]

sorry, I meant the person whose dad is 60...

[Anonymous]

I can't continue reading this thread. The OP's stupidity is giving me a headache.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Is it better to (a) stay in a job that is physically hard on my husband and has no future and in a region where we can't afford a house anyway (so the 70K doesn't get us far) and where we do not want to raise our kids than to (b) take the risk of him going back to school? I don't think so. Plenty of people take economic and job risks when they think that in the long run it will be best for their family.

OP - stop thinking about buying a house! If he doesn't take this job you'll be on public assistance and without an income. Does that sound like a better option to you than living on $70g and renting? You are not talking about taking a job risk here you are talking about potential financial disaster.

& your husband's job is physicall hard? You know what? My dad is in his 60s and still works TWO FULL TIME JOBS to make ends meet. He has been doing this for the past 30 yrs. Suck it up and stop complaining. My God how delusional/stupid are you?!

If he telecommutes a lot of the time, how is jis job physically hard?

OP, it seems like you've made up your mind, and just want some validation. Doesn't look like you're going to get it here. I hope your poor decisions don't have lasting consequences for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am talking about buying a house to show that our lives in DC have no future and why he needs to change careers. You CAN buy a house on 70k in the West.

LOL -OP, by the time you add on all the costs of the various student loans, you are looking at the equivalent of another mortgage. If your critical thinking skills are always this poor, I highly doubt your PhD is going to get you anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for advice about living in DC.

Yes, he's working on setting up appointments with several people who do what he wants to do figure out the feasbility of his plan.

To the person who's 60 and working 2 full-time jobs that are physically demanding. Have you asked him whether he wishes he had done something different in his life when he was younger, even if it was risky, to avoid being in that situation when he's 60? That's what we're trying to do.

That's my dad your talking about & yes, we've had the conversation. He said that he would've considered doign something risky before having children but after he became a father providing for us became his #1 priority. You know what? I did have a pretty good life as a kid, never wanted for anything, never lived on public assistance, lived in a good school district, etc. His sacrifices paid off and I thank him for making a wise family-focused decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am talking about buying a house to show that our lives in DC have no future and why he needs to change careers. You CAN buy a house on 70k in the West.

A house is not the end-all-be-all of living. I thought this had been proven in the last few years.

At least in this area you have a chance of using your academic degree -- there are a lot of higher ed opportunities.

You are still building your lives, you are currently working on an advanced degree and eventually you will also contribute to the HHI. Your husband will also get promotions and pay raises.

Are you really so naive to think that all of us living in the DC metro are making tons of money? We all started somewhere and built on the foundation.

As many of other posters have noted, don't take on more academic debt. Big mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
As for going on public assistance, my husband would be looking for other work here but we don't know if he'll find it and how long it'll take. (As an aside, the gov't subsidizes corporations, wars, etc., and we've been paying into the system for a while now, so I don't think it's 'disgusting' that we use it to help us get through this period. I know I will get flamed for saying this....)

I agree with you.
I think you are planning to use it for the reasons it was intended

[Anonymous]

Thanks, PP. Our decision is family-focused, too. We need to get out of DC. Have any of you lived in the West? Do you understand how different it is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, PP. Our decision is family-focused, too. We need to get out of DC. Have any of you lived in the West? Do you understand how different it is?

You are not here, yet.

[Anonymous]

We are trying to stay here -- in the W. We have lived in DC for 5 years. We know what it's like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are trying to stay here -- in the W. We have lived in DC for 5 years. We know what it's like.

Stay in the West. Get jobs flipping burgers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, PP. Our decision is family-focused, too. We need to get out of DC. Have any of you lived in the West? Do you understand how different it is?

OP, you do realize that many states look down on people who move to them and then expect to be on the dole. You do realize that you might qualify for state assistance, don't you? And if they find out your husband quit a job -was not fired or laid off, you really think that looks good on your welfare application?

I know someone who gets WIC subsidies...because her child had a catastrophic illness that has basically bankrupted the family. Not because she chooses not to work...

So, you guys have made some not great moves in the past, and instead of accepting this like adults, you want to act like petulant children and have us "grown ups" pay for you?

Give me a break. What a pathetic example to your children. I just can't fathom your attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, PP. Our decision is family-focused, too. We need to get out of DC. Have any of you lived in the West? Do you understand how different it is?

OP, you do realize that many states look down on people who move to them and then expect to be on the dole. You do realize that you might qualify for state assistance, don't you? And if they find out your husband quit a job -was not fired or laid off, you really think that looks good on your welfare application?

I know someone who gets WIC subsidies...because her child had a catastrophic illness that has basically bankrupted the family. Not because she chooses not to work...

So, you guys have made some not great moves in the past, and instead of accepting this like adults, you want to act like petulant children and have us "grown ups" pay for you?

Give me a break. What a pathetic example to your children. I just can't fathom your attitude.

What not-great choices have we made in the past? Going on to get an advanced degree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Is it better to (a) stay in a job that is physically hard on my husband and has no future and in a region where we can't afford a house anyway (so the 70K doesn't get us far) and where we do not want to raise our kids than to (b) take the risk of him going back to school? I don't think so. Plenty of people take economic and job risks when they think that in the long run it will be best for their family.

Ok, you seem to contradict yourself. First you say it will only be a year until he starts school. Then you make it seem like he'll be staying in this job in DC and you'll be stuck raising kids here.
It's ONE YEAR. You can either go deeper in debt and live hand to mouth that one year, or you can move, make ends meet, have medical insurance, and then go back. Seems a no-brainer to me.

And FWIW, I think the others are right - Forest Service is a hard career to break into, with long hours, low pay, and lots of moves. I am not saying its a bad job or you DH won't love it. But you need to rethink how you spend and how you see your family future. If he goes Forest Service, you'll live in small towns in small homes with no fancy vacations and prada shoes. Its not a bad life. But don't delude yourself into thinking this new career will be high paying or wont take you away from family.

Oh, and feds usually pay for moving expenses.