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Invite Us to 4th of July Party and Then Ask Us to Pay?
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Anonymous
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OP, I would act the better person and offer to give them a check. Write in the memo "7/4/11 (CC name) visit". Call the CC just to verify guest fee amount, to ensure inviting friend is not a total cad. Do it without comment or message. Know that next time you will be declining. Drop it. Note to self: find better friends.
For the record, I have never been asked to pay my visitor fee to a friend (or to the club), the friend always very quietly covers it. That is the classy thing to do, and we do the same. It all comes out in the wash. Maybe they can barely afford the club? Maybe they do not belong there and know it? |
Anonymous
| Maybe it's just not a prestigious club? So much for social climbing. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| Wow this is amazing. I have never heard of such a thing. OP can you please give us a $ range of how much they're asking for? I cannot even imagine someone asking you to pay after they invited you to their club! Is this couple generally super cheap? As in, you go to dinner and they're itemizing out how much each couple owes instead of splitting? I have to say, I'm horrified and amazed and want to learn more. My advice though is that you pay and move on, unless you can't afford it. |
Anonymous
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OP, why don't you pay them in pennies in a jar of honey? It may end the friendship, but why would you want to be friends with people who have manners?
Please, get a large container (transparent, and fill it with pennies and have it delivered to them! |
Anonymous
| ...people who have NO manners. |
Anonymous
| We used to belong to a country club in NJ, and my Sister In Law still does. When her minimum is coming due, she will ask that my DH and her parents come up for dinner, and we always pay her back. We do that because she is FAMILY and we all know what's going on. On the occaisions where she has asked if my parents also want to come along (they are elderly and don't get out much, but loooooove the idea of "going to the club"), my husband and I pay their share. They honestly have no idea how cc's work and I would NEVER tell them that we pay for them as they would try to pay us back. Part of being a member of a cc is understanding that you have a minimum and that YOU, not your guests, are responsible for this. To ask people to pay you back is tacky, tacky, tacky. (Unless you're family and everyone knows the drill before the meal). |
Anonymous
I'd also be very skeptical of future invitations. |
Anonymous
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Personally, I think the key here is more that there was nothing discussed prior. Typically, I think this is terribly tacky and I would never do it. However, I've had friends suggest a group getting together for NYE parties at their where there is a set price per person ($150/$200). Of course, if 4 couples get together, the members are not paying for everyone. I wonder if this was this type of event where the cost was set?
I agree to pay it and decline future invitations. |
Anonymous
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this would not surprise me
In college I was given an occational ride that I was pressured into accepting even though I could have taken the bus and then told to pay. I did not mind paying to give the rider gas money, but she told me her other friends paid as well and were upset that I had gotten a ride for free, this even though I did not need to ride with her. I was shocked that they would say that and then found out it was a lie because she did not want to ask me straight out. For a while I had believed her lie. |
Anonymous
I know someone who was givena bag of clothing and then asked to pay for it. And she had taken them thinking it was a free gift. But accepting clothing is a pain. It is not that uncommon for someone to ask for them back and then be angry if they are not in good condition. |
Anonymous
how about you cart your own golf clubs and get a free workout. Snacks, meals, drinks? Do you eat at the same time as you play golf? $150 is still excessive. I would expect the golf course to be made out of gold |
Anonymous
| OP: DO NOT reveal how much. It is irrelevant and this kind of nosiness is just plain rude, worse than the request you mention! |
Anonymous
The cart and caddy is required at our course when you bring guests. And am I supposed to tell the guests they are not allowed to have food/drink when it becomes a half-day+ event? Especially when they are playing so much for the "experience"...trust me, I think it is excessive, too, which is precisely why I can't afford to take everyone who asks to play without them paying their way. This isn't like playing on a public course. |
Anonymous
Quit the club and you will save money and not have to deal with the "experience" of others which you cannot afford and expect your guests to foot the bill. There are plenty of nice public courses. |