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SAHMs - what made you decide to SAH? Question from new SAHM
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Anonymous
| 12:02 how do your observations apply to the OP and to the DC area? |
Anonymous
|
12:20:
:do you and your spouse have the ability to stagger your days (one goes in early, one goes in late? No If a kid is sick, can you easily take off/do some work at home? Those are also a part of a flexible job situation, I think. Dh can fairly easily take off for a sick kid, yes. |
Anonymous
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"I am not at all disagreeing with you, I just wanted to say that I am now a SAHM and when I worked I had all of the above. We were also easily able to afford high quality childcare. I still decided to SAH because I wanted to care for my children myself. I love doing it! I really wanted to be the one to care for them; I don't care how "quality" another caregiver was, they weren't me. I didn't want to miss out on taking them places and being their primary caregiver. I only get to do this for a small window of my life and I really wanted to be the one to do it. Our kids do have other caregivers (babysitters, family members who help, and preschool) but I wanted to be their primary caregiver. I liked my job, but I like caring for my children better. "
And DH? |
Anonymous
| To the SAHM at 12:29, am I right to guess that your spouse's income provides more than enough money to fund college and both of your retirements? Sure, I like spending time with my kids but not enough to sacrifice valuable college and retirement dollars. |
Anonymous
| If SAHMs are so great, why do welfare mothers get a bum rap? |
Anonymous
| I stayed home after going back part time b/c I joined a playgroup with some SAHMs and really liked how they related to their children and were able to spend time with them that didn't always feel rushed (unlike me). Almost 15 years out, now, I will admit that I am having a real identity crisis. So be prepared! |
Anonymous
Fair enough -- my point was more than you need most of those things, to not feel completely overwhelemed with 2 full time working parents.. or so it seems to me, though personal observation! I don't know if there has been any "happiness study" 
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Anonymous
Why are you even reading this thread? This thread is for SAHMs... asking them why they decided to stay at home. Did you? Are you? If not then why are you even reading this thread? |
Anonymous
not sure what you are asking here....? |
Anonymous
And DH what? He is a super great dad! Very involved. Just as capable as I am of being a great SAHP, but one of us has to work and he makes more money, so it's him. If you mean does this make him not the children's primary caregiver then that's right, I am. But when he is home (and he has lots of flexibility in his job so he does not work long hours and is home for dinner/breakfast/weekends all the time) he is as involved as I am. I don't mean to denigrate his role by calling myself their primary caregiver...I just say that because I am the person who is primarily (as in I spend the most time being) responsible for the children. And yes we save for retirement and have savings. I'm not saying someone should give up doing that to SAH, where did I say that? I just wanted to say that I did not SAH because I was miserable in my job, or because I couldn't afford quality childcare, or because my husband is gone all the time, or because my commute was awful. I SAH because I wanted to spend the time I was at work with my children, and now I can and it makes me very happy and so grateful because I love it! |
Anonymous
| 12:51, if your classroom was in a more disadvantaged area from a socioeconomic perspective, then I don't understand why you posted it. The whole WOHM/SAHM dichotomy is totally different in a less affluent area compared to a more affluent area. |
Anonymous
| Okay 13:00 thanks for clarifying. You SAH because you wanted to AND because your family can afford its medium and long term goals without you earning any income. |
Anonymous
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"Okay 13:00 thanks for clarifying. You SAH because you wanted to AND because your family can afford its medium and long term goals without you earning any income. "
Until DH dumps you for his soul mate. Check out the stats for mothers and children living in poverty. |
Anonymous
It wasn't disadvantaged, just middle class... as I was (as a teacher earning $40K). They could afford the same child care options I would have been looking at. |
Anonymous
| 13:00 do you plan to go back to work once your children are all in full day school and you don't spend much more time with them than you would if you worked? Or do you also like the lifestyle? |