Ex won’t make food our daughter will eat

[Anonymous]

Those of you jumping on OP are being too harsh. My kid is 13 not 16 and while capable of making very basic meals for herself I don’t expect that to happen if I’m in the house making a meal for myself. I’d never make myself a dinner I knew DD hated and expect her to eat it or make herself something.
DD won’t eat salad ( lettuce specifically) for example, so I’ll make us the exact same protein and I might have salad and she’ll have rice and cut up veggies.
DH is going to alienate his own kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you jumping on OP are being too harsh. My kid is 13 not 16 and while capable of making very basic meals for herself I don’t expect that to happen if I’m in the house making a meal for myself. I’d never make myself a dinner I knew DD hated and expect her to eat it or make herself something.
DD won’t eat salad ( lettuce specifically) for example, so I’ll make us the exact same protein and I might have salad and she’ll have rice and cut up veggies.
DH is going to alienate his own kid.

Don’t worry, he’ll alienate her but when he creates a situation of justified estrangement he’ll flip it on OP and say she’s alienating the DD from him. Courts love men who say that. Luckily she isn’t old enough that he can drag this out in court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you jumping on OP are being too harsh. My kid is 13 not 16 and while capable of making very basic meals for herself I don’t expect that to happen if I’m in the house making a meal for myself. I’d never make myself a dinner I knew DD hated and expect her to eat it or make herself something.
DD won’t eat salad ( lettuce specifically) for example, so I’ll make us the exact same protein and I might have salad and she’ll have rice and cut up veggies.
DH is going to alienate his own kid.

Well we don't know what her ex is making and what her DD will or won't eat. Given she will only consider a hot freshly made for her breakfast as a decent breakfast and she doesn't eat prepared foods or a cold lunch - the DD just sounds exceedingly spoiled. If OP wants to be a chef and cook 3 hot meals from scratch that are specific to her daughter's likes - she can do that but very few people have the time or money to be a personal chef for each child.

The other poster was aghast that her ex was serving meat and potatoes for dinner - the horrors!

Some people have unrealistic expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you make for your 16 year old for breakfast everyday? Seriously curious.

NP who grew up grabbing a piece of toast or a granola bar and running into school but was constantly hungry and developed some ED-adjacent stuff because of it. I think today’s parents, particularly those of girls and athletes, are much more attuned to the intense schedules of HS kids and how challenging it is to eat a proper lunch during the school day, especially with rushes bell schedules, schools without lockers, and long lunch lines.

None of my friends had hot breakfast growing up, but it’s really common in my circle for kids to have hot breakfast now, particularly for families who make it the family meal if everyone is in different places or on different evening schedules.

We never had a hot breakfast or hot lunch. I ate pretty much the same thing for breakfast (cereal or toast with peanut butter and jam) and made myself the same lunch (sandwich and a piece of fruit) throughout school - and was perfectly healthy.

I have a 16 year old and 18 year old. They leave for school so early, they hate eating anything. Their friends are the same. This smells like a troll post to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you jumping on OP are being too harsh. My kid is 13 not 16 and while capable of making very basic meals for herself I don’t expect that to happen if I’m in the house making a meal for myself. I’d never make myself a dinner I knew DD hated and expect her to eat it or make herself something.
DD won’t eat salad ( lettuce specifically) for example, so I’ll make us the exact same protein and I might have salad and she’ll have rice and cut up veggies.
DH is going to alienate his own kid.

Don’t worry, he’ll alienate her but when he creates a situation of justified estrangement he’ll flip it on OP and say she’s alienating the DD from him. Courts love men who say that. Luckily she isn’t old enough that he can drag this out in court.

Given the 16 year old can't feed herself and goes to bed hungry if her doesn't make the gourmet meal she ordered, and his ex agrees with the teen that it is unreasonable for her to eat a prepared meal or a cold breakfast or to get anything herself as she must be catered to and waited on hand and foot - he probably can't wait until she is 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you jumping on OP are being too harsh. My kid is 13 not 16 and while capable of making very basic meals for herself I don’t expect that to happen if I’m in the house making a meal for myself. I’d never make myself a dinner I knew DD hated and expect her to eat it or make herself something.
DD won’t eat salad ( lettuce specifically) for example, so I’ll make us the exact same protein and I might have salad and she’ll have rice and cut up veggies.
DH is going to alienate his own kid.

Don’t worry, he’ll alienate her but when he creates a situation of justified estrangement he’ll flip it on OP and say she’s alienating the DD from him. Courts love men who say that. Luckily she isn’t old enough that he can drag this out in court.

Given the 16 year old can't feed herself and goes to bed hungry if her doesn't make the gourmet meal she ordered, and his ex agrees with the teen that it is unreasonable for her to eat a prepared meal or a cold breakfast or to get anything herself as she must be catered to and waited on hand and foot - he probably can't wait until she is 18.

+1. It sounds like mom has raised a real loser and he's trying to undo the damage, but it's probably too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you jumping on OP are being too harsh. My kid is 13 not 16 and while capable of making very basic meals for herself I don’t expect that to happen if I’m in the house making a meal for myself. I’d never make myself a dinner I knew DD hated and expect her to eat it or make herself something.
DD won’t eat salad ( lettuce specifically) for example, so I’ll make us the exact same protein and I might have salad and she’ll have rice and cut up veggies.
DH is going to alienate his own kid.

Don’t worry, he’ll alienate her but when he creates a situation of justified estrangement he’ll flip it on OP and say she’s alienating the DD from him. Courts love men who say that. Luckily she isn’t old enough that he can drag this out in court.

Given the 16 year old can't feed herself and goes to bed hungry if her doesn't make the gourmet meal she ordered, and his ex agrees with the teen that it is unreasonable for her to eat a prepared meal or a cold breakfast or to get anything herself as she must be catered to and waited on hand and foot - he probably can't wait until she is 18.

+1. It sounds like mom has raised a real loser and he's trying to undo the damage, but it's probably too late.

The part where he said if OP wants her to eat that way, she can come over to his house and make it herself pretty much guarantees he's just selfish or inconsiderate, not trying ti parent. If he were trying to parent he would cook together with DD and teach her.

[Anonymous]

I would need more info on what he’s serving.

I grew up with a busy professional single dad and ate fast food a lot. I leaned to cook basic things, microwaved, ordered pizza or made sandwiches. I learned to drive asap and drove myself to get food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you make for your 16 year old for breakfast everyday? Seriously curious.

NP who grew up grabbing a piece of toast or a granola bar and running into school but was constantly hungry and developed some ED-adjacent stuff because of it. I think today’s parents, particularly those of girls and athletes, are much more attuned to the intense schedules of HS kids and how challenging it is to eat a proper lunch during the school day, especially with rushes bell schedules, schools without lockers, and long lunch lines.

None of my friends had hot breakfast growing up, but it’s really common in my circle for kids to have hot breakfast now, particularly for families who make it the family meal if everyone is in different places or on different evening schedules.

+1

I am surprised that so many people think that a sandwich is an acceptable dinner.

The sandwich is being offered because she is refusing the dinner. There is nothing wrong with meatloaf, mashed potatoes & gravy during “high summer.”

The PP who wrote about meatloaf is not OP.

[Anonymous]

The current guidance is exactly what your husband is doing. Do not be a short order cook for your kid. Offer a back up safe meal like cereal or pbj if they don’t like the prepared dinner. If you had done this all along OP your kid would eat more foods.

[Anonymous]

Team dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you jumping on OP are being too harsh. My kid is 13 not 16 and while capable of making very basic meals for herself I don’t expect that to happen if I’m in the house making a meal for myself. I’d never make myself a dinner I knew DD hated and expect her to eat it or make herself something.
DD won’t eat salad ( lettuce specifically) for example, so I’ll make us the exact same protein and I might have salad and she’ll have rice and cut up veggies.
DH is going to alienate his own kid.

Don’t worry, he’ll alienate her but when he creates a situation of justified estrangement he’ll flip it on OP and say she’s alienating the DD from him. Courts love men who say that. Luckily she isn’t old enough that he can drag this out in court.

Given the 16 year old can't feed herself and goes to bed hungry if her doesn't make the gourmet meal she ordered, and his ex agrees with the teen that it is unreasonable for her to eat a prepared meal or a cold breakfast or to get anything herself as she must be catered to and waited on hand and foot - he probably can't wait until she is 18.

+1. It sounds like mom has raised a real loser and he's trying to undo the damage, but it's probably too late.

The part where he said if OP wants her to eat that way, she can come over to his house and make it herself pretty much guarantees he's just selfish or inconsiderate, not trying ti parent. If he were trying to parent he would cook together with DD and teach her.

He cooked a meal. Mom doesn’t like it, so she can cook herself. This is crazy and hopefully a troll.

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t make breakfast— this doesn’t sound abnormal to me. I don’t make breakfast on weekdays either. Kids have bagels or cereal.
He makes dinner but it’s nothing she likes. We need to know exactly what this means. If she hates spicy food and everything is too spicy that makes sense. If she only likes a few select dishes and he’s not making those then she needs to broaden her culinary horizons. She’s not a baby anymore.

[Anonymous]

Op i am like you in that i make breakfast (sausage, garlic bread or buns or some such, sometimes eggs and bacon), but i cant make my ex do anything. DS who is also 16 makes his and his father’s breakfast there (eggs or sausages usually afaik). He also makes lunch or dinner and ex lets him buy ingredients and cook whatever. He makes stew, steaks, chicken wings, stuff like that and dad eats it too.

[Anonymous]

This has to be a troll. You're making bacon, eggs, waffles and pancakes every weekday morning? Come on.