Sorority hazing

[Anonymous]

My DD’s sorority (at a big party school) was put on probation for just offering an underage student alcohol. Not making anyone drink. Hazing of the sort described on these posts would have gotten the sorority permanently banned from campus. I don’t believe these hazing stories; someone would tell eventually and the sorority would be gone. For that reason a top sorority is unlikely to haze because no one will rush a house that can’t have date parties or events. I have heard of sports teams & non Panhel groups hazing but they don’t have the same oversight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I've heard mean stuff like the "jiggle" where the other girls circle your jiggling body parts while the candidate sits on a dryer machine. Also in a circle they shout mean things until she cries. Syracuse/U Mich

My kid is at one of these schools. The rumors about hazing exist, but only about 3 specific sororities. It is 100% NOT tolerated in most of them.

You keep saying this but it’s such a naive statement. No one wants to be the pledge that gets the sorority on probation or worse. Sorority hazing does remain mild compared to what the frats do.

I don't keep saying anything. This is my first post and my kid is pledging right now. They would tell me if there was hazing. In fact, their whole friends group talked about it a lot before rush. People talk......a lot.

Yup, ridiculously naive. Your college age kid isn’t telling you everything.Not sure why someone would even want to believe their kid doesn’t have a private life apart from them.

Looks like a former hazer is here. I get details I do and don't want. Haha! I can't necessarily share things with her dad, but she tells me plenty, including crazy stuff I don't necessarily need to know.

Different kids are different. Some can’t help but spill their guts to their moms. Others are more private and share things on a need-to-know basis.

My sense is this is due to a combination of nature and nurture - not whether or not a parent is a former hazer. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Man here from an SEC school, attended in the 90s. Can attest to the "blow or blow" hazing, as I was asked to be the prop depending on the recruit's choice. I was told to wait in a nearby bedroom. I hung out and played video games.

Color me disappointed. These girls all love their coke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How prevalent is it at your kids school? Can you name the school?

Just heard about the common hazing game: “blow or blow” and was personally taken aback (choice btw drugs or a sexual act).

Wow. Single dad here. My daughter s going to college next year and I am terrified. I do Uber on the side and pick up a lot of college kids. I thought the boys were wild boy was I wrong. The girls are equally wild. My daughter is very studious, shy and nerdy. She will graduate with high honors. I just hope she never join any of this nonsense.

Just know that not all sororities are like this. I went to a very academic school and joined a sorority that was fun and social AND the furthest thing from abusive or mean you could imagine.

The pledging process was 100% about bonding - getting to know each other, with the older “sisters” making all the effort to get to know the new girls and make sure they felt welcome and appreciated.

Nerdy? Yes! But in all the best ways, at least for me. Super nice group of women I likely never would have met otherwise.

We also hosted and went to parties, but no pressure to drink. Some girls overdid it for sure. But plenty were non-drinkers. Full range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At UVA in 2004 I literally stumbled into a group of pledges of a "top" (rich, very southern) sorority being hazed. They were being made to lie on the ground in a parking lot off the corner and the older girls were pouring condiments on them (ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise) and yelling at them to roll around. Everyone seemed quite drunk but only the sisters were laughing...I actually reported it to UJC (I was an RA and felt some modicum of responsibility) and was called in to give a statement but as far as I know, nothing every came of it.

Are you confusing this with Dazed and Confused? I love Parker Posey.

Dang you beat me to it because I was looking for a good pic to post.

"Wipe that face off your head b****".

OMG! I swear I'm not making it up, I've actually never seen that movie. Guess on top of being mean, these girls weren't very creative! I remember the whole situation very clearly because I was on my way to a house party with a backpack full of fake-ID-purchased beers and was super paranoid about attracting attention to myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've heard mean stuff like the "jiggle" where the other girls circle your jiggling body parts while the candidate sits on a dryer machine. Also in a circle they shout mean things until she cries. Syracuse/U Mich

My kid is at one of these schools. The rumors about hazing exist, but only about 3 specific sororities. It is 100% NOT tolerated in most of them.

Why would kids choose these sororities knowing this???

Because (and I hate that I am typing this, but you asked), they are considered top houses. Those are the ones that are most coveted by those who are seeking status.

[Anonymous]

I have seen/heard a lot more with the non-greek orgs. Why club sports and professional frats feel like it's cool to haze, I have no idea. My daughter is pledging a panhel sorority now and doesn't have any interest in the professional frat for her major b/c they make the pledges to embarrassing things. They post it on TikTok for all to see. Her sorority has to follow all the rules, like the costume and the pin thing. A few sororities have been on probation this semester, but I think it was for violating the dry period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How prevalent is it at your kids school? Can you name the school?

Just heard about the common hazing game: “blow or blow” and was personally taken aback (choice btw drugs or a sexual act).

Wow. Single dad here. My daughter s going to college next year and I am terrified. I do Uber on the side and pick up a lot of college kids. I thought the boys were wild boy was I wrong. The girls are equally wild. My daughter is very studious, shy and nerdy. She will graduate with high honors. I just hope she never join any of this nonsense.

My daughter is at a work hard/play hard school. She is very academically motivated and in a sorority. Not all sororities or even girls within a sorority are the same. There is a place for hardcore party girls, occasional partiers and those who don't party at all. She can stay true to herself and still fit in just fine.

[Anonymous]

Most sororities don’t haze, even the top-tier ones. And the few that do keep it so anodyne that no one should be dissuaded from joining out of fear of it, especially when you weigh it against the benefits.

On SEC campuses in particular, top-tier sorority membership is basically a ticket into the upper echelon of Southern society. The top-tier fraternity guys are often the future bank presidents and wealth advisors to UHNWIs in places like Birmingham, Mobile, Biloxi, Charleston, and Jacksonville. Most are married by 26 or 27, often to women from those same top sororities whom they started dating in college.

People in the DMV love to dump on the South, but these folks are living damn good lives by 30. Big house, Bimmers in the driveway, golf and pickleball on the weekends, vacations on Rosemary Beach. You can hit the books all you want, but a high GPA alone doesn’t get you into that world. You network into it, and that applies to men and women. With that in mind, 8–10 weeks of hazing freshman year is a pretty small price to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who was in an SEC sorority in the 2010s...sororities should not be hazing. Seriously if your daughter experiences this: drop and report! The national orgs do not tolerate it. When I was a pledge our introduction to the sorority was getting presents and going to a bunch of bonding events for ~8 weeks. I don't know why anyone would tolerate hazing when you should be having that experience.

+1. My freshman daughter was showered with presents and special surprises when she was pledging this fall.

[Anonymous]

Kids are probably not complaining about doing blow because they like cocaine. Same for alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most sororities don’t haze, even the top-tier ones. And the few that do keep it so anodyne that no one should be dissuaded from joining out of fear of it, especially when you weigh it against the benefits.

On SEC campuses in particular, top-tier sorority membership is basically a ticket into the upper echelon of Southern society. The top-tier fraternity guys are often the future bank presidents and wealth advisors to UHNWIs in places like Birmingham, Mobile, Biloxi, Charleston, and Jacksonville. Most are married by 26 or 27, often to women from those same top sororities whom they started dating in college.

People in the DMV love to dump on the South, but these folks are living damn good lives by 30. Big house, Bimmers in the driveway, golf and pickleball on the weekends, vacations on Rosemary Beach. You can hit the books all you want, but a high GPA alone doesn’t get you into that world. You network into it, and that applies to men and women. With that in mind, 8–10 weeks of hazing freshman year is a pretty small price to pay.

Who the hell want to live in any of those places? Sound like a bunch of stooges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most sororities don’t haze, even the top-tier ones. And the few that do keep it so anodyne that no one should be dissuaded from joining out of fear of it, especially when you weigh it against the benefits.

On SEC campuses in particular, top-tier sorority membership is basically a ticket into the upper echelon of Southern society. The top-tier fraternity guys are often the future bank presidents and wealth advisors to UHNWIs in places like Birmingham, Mobile, Biloxi, Charleston, and Jacksonville. Most are married by 26 or 27, often to women from those same top sororities whom they started dating in college.

People in the DMV love to dump on the South, but these folks are living damn good lives by 30. Big house, Bimmers in the driveway, golf and pickleball on the weekends, vacations on Rosemary Beach. You can hit the books all you want, but a high GPA alone doesn’t get you into that world. You network into it, and that applies to men and women. With that in mind, 8–10 weeks of hazing freshman year is a pretty small price to pay.

You're telling me that even if she makes a 4.0, my daughter will never be able to be a housewife in Biloxi married to a "wealth advisor" and former frat bro?

In that case, I'm not sure why I'm still paying her tuition.

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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How prevalent is it at your kids school? Can you name the school?

Just heard about the common hazing game: “blow or blow” and was personally taken aback (choice btw drugs or a sexual act).

Crazy idea, just say no and don't join. This is literally the "if everyone jumped off a bridge would you do it too?" lesson we all were supposed to have learned in first grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most sororities don’t haze, even the top-tier ones. And the few that do keep it so anodyne that no one should be dissuaded from joining out of fear of it, especially when you weigh it against the benefits.

On SEC campuses in particular, top-tier sorority membership is basically a ticket into the upper echelon of Southern society. The top-tier fraternity guys are often the future bank presidents and wealth advisors to UHNWIs in places like Birmingham, Mobile, Biloxi, Charleston, and Jacksonville. Most are married by 26 or 27, often to women from those same top sororities whom they started dating in college.

People in the DMV love to dump on the South, but these folks are living damn good lives by 30. Big house, Bimmers in the driveway, golf and pickleball on the weekends, vacations on Rosemary Beach. You can hit the books all you want, but a high GPA alone doesn’t get you into that world. You network into it, and that applies to men and women. With that in mind, 8–10 weeks of hazing freshman year is a pretty small price to pay.

Sure but many are also working at nude bars.