Is it OK to ask friend if my daughter can come to their sibling’s wedding?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ve posted this before only your DD was younger, you said tween. Do better with your trolling.

I’ve posted that that poster wasn’t me. But since it doesn’t seem ideal to ask, should I make my daughter stay home or tell my friend that I cannot attend?

Your choice. The only thing I can't figure out is the wedding is THIS weekend. Why did you wait until the last minute to freak out about your kid being home alone? I'd be pretty annoyed as your friend if you bailed now.

It’s not this upcoming weekend, but the next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ve posted this before only your DD was younger, you said tween. Do better with your trolling.

I’ve posted that that poster wasn’t me. But since it doesn’t seem ideal to ask, should I make my daughter stay home or tell my friend that I cannot attend?

Your choice. The only thing I can't figure out is the wedding is THIS weekend. Why did you wait until the last minute to freak out about your kid being home alone? I'd be pretty annoyed as your friend if you bailed now.

It’s not this upcoming weekend, but the next.

That's still last minute. Final numbers have been sent in for food. The seating arrangements are done. I can't tell if you're aloof or just really have no social etiquette.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Best plan: Daughter stays home.
If that can't happen, then you contact your friend (I would call so it's a conversation vs just texting back and forth) and say something came up and DH will be out of town and DD is scared to stay home alone. So I won't be able to attend. Sorry!
If friend really wants you to go with her she will either suggest a solution or say, Bring DD.

That said, I had someone bring me to an event, swearing the host would love for me to attend, and it was very clear host was p*ssed. Friend was my ride, at a time when Ubers were not that prevalent, and it was a very long, uncomfortable night.

It's not even her friend's wedding! What's her friend supposed to do? Call her family member and say "hey remember Larla? Well she can't leave her 15 year old home alone. I know it's less than 2 weeks til the wedding, but can this teenager who you don't even know come?".

[Anonymous]

It's really simple.

If you received your own invitation, which included a +1, and you RSVPed with a +1, you can tell them DH had to go out of town and you'd like to swap him for your daughter.

If your daughter would be an extra person not included in the plans, then you can't bring her to the reception. You could bring her to the ceremony if it's in a church, since that's a public place.

[Anonymous]

We had this situation at my daughter’s wedding. The feel of panic when that uninvited extra took a close friend’s seat at dinner panicked me. Luckily, the wedding planner made it work, but a table change had to be made and it pissed me off. I don’t think my daughter noticed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's really simple.

If you received your own invitation, which included a +1, and you RSVPed with a +1, you can tell them DH had to go out of town and you'd like to swap him for your daughter.

If your daughter would be an extra person not included in the plans, then you can't bring her to the reception. You could bring her to the ceremony if it's in a church, since that's a public place.

I received my own invitation, and was going to attend with my husband, but he won’t be able to attend.

[Anonymous]

No, it’s not okay. People tried to pull that at my wedding. I had one person add their 5 kids on the response card. I had to call them up and tell them no. They were from out of town and the kids ended up trickling in towards the end of the reception. Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really simple.

If you received your own invitation, which included a +1, and you RSVPed with a +1, you can tell them DH had to go out of town and you'd like to swap him for your daughter.

If your daughter would be an extra person not included in the plans, then you can't bring her to the reception. You could bring her to the ceremony if it's in a church, since that's a public place.

I received my own invitation, and was going to attend with my husband, but he won’t be able to attend.

So then ....what's the problem? You RSVPed with a plus one (your DH) and now instead of DH it's DD. I seriously cannot understand your train of thought with trickling out all these little details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not okay. People tried to pull that at my wedding. I had one person add their 5 kids on the response card. I had to call them up and tell them no. They were from out of town and the kids ended up trickling in towards the end of the reception. Unbelievable.

That is outrageously rude and presumptuous to modify the response card! But if they trickled in at the end of the reception it shouldn't have mattered too much since they didn't need a place and a plate/food. Which is the main reason people control numbers. But still rude. I'm not excusing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it’s not okay. People tried to pull that at my wedding. I had one person add their 5 kids on the response card. I had to call them up and tell them no. They were from out of town and the kids ended up trickling in towards the end of the reception. Unbelievable.

That is outrageously rude and presumptuous to modify the response card! But if they trickled in at the end of the reception it shouldn't have mattered too much since they didn't need a place and a plate/food. Which is the main reason people control numbers. But still rude. I'm not excusing them.

It's also strange to me since why couldn't they just leave their kids wherever they had left them? Maybe the babysitter was leaving? It is a very odd thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’ve posted this before only your DD was younger, you said tween. Do better with your trolling.

I’ve posted that that poster wasn’t me. But since it doesn’t seem ideal to ask, should I make my daughter stay home or tell my friend that I cannot attend?

She's 15! She should be comfortable babysitting other, younger kids at night. It's time for her to level up and become capable of basic things like being home alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's really simple.

If you received your own invitation, which included a +1, and you RSVPed with a +1, you can tell them DH had to go out of town and you'd like to swap him for your daughter.

If your daughter would be an extra person not included in the plans, then you can't bring her to the reception. You could bring her to the ceremony if it's in a church, since that's a public place.

I received my own invitation, and was going to attend with my husband, but he won’t be able to attend.

So then ....what's the problem? You RSVPed with a plus one (your DH) and now instead of DH it's DD. I seriously cannot understand your train of thought with trickling out all these little details.

They sent a plus one to someone who is married? General etiquette is you address the invite to both members of the couple.

[Anonymous]

Jeez, I was babysitting other peoples kids and staying home alone for an entire weekend younger than 15. More like 12. I can't imagine the level of anxiety OP's daughter has. Working on that should be your number one priority and start by having her stay home alone for a couple hours at a time.

[Anonymous]

In a situation such as this, I do not think it would hurt to ask.
Just explain that your daughter has anxiety about staying home alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a situation such as this, I do not think it would hurt to ask.
Just explain that your daughter has anxiety about staying home alone.

I wouldn’t want some kid with anxiety at my wedding. What if they spin out during the service? Or the Dj’s music startles them and they run out crying? Or they have a fit because they don’t like any of the food? The parents should hire a babysitter for a teen that acts like a baby, and make the teen pay for it. No sympathy for kids using anxiety to get the world to revolve around them.