Guy I was dating slept with someone else

[Anonymous]

There was no need for him to share that he slept with someone else. He could have even gone with, "I don't see long term potential" and not even mention dating others.

Otherwise, he didn't do anything wrong and that's just how dating goes. When you do become exclusive with someone down the road, if he's desirable at all, there will likely be someone else disappointed that he chose you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both you and this guy are both literally still married. Irrespective of whatever this guy did, *You* need to slow down.

Op here. I know! This is why I did not want to rush into anything and take it slow. When we met on Hinge, he still lived in the same house as his ex-wife and he was so vulnerable and new at all of this. I enjoyed his company and we clicked but I didn’t want to be used as a rebound or for him to transfer all of his unresolved feelings onto me. I said let’s take it slow and gather our bearings and especially to give him time to move out and build his independent life.

Meanwhile we saw each other once a week; had makeout sessions; texting all day and calling each other. We had a connection and a natural way of relating to each other. I helped him pick out his new apartment and went shopping with him a few times to help him get stuff for his new kitchen. We spent a romantic valentines day together.

I knew were not exclusive but felt pretty secure we are building toward something we so sort out our personal lives and logistics.

So color me surprised that he apparently built a “strong connection” with this other woman behind my Back. When I asked him what they had in common he said that she was different than me, a single mom who parented similar to him and they had a similar sense of humor. She also expressed interest in him and chased him and wanted sex early on while I was taking it slow. She wanted to see and meet him spontaneously and he liked that.

I didn’t sleep at all last night and I’m trying to pick myself back up.

Troll

No one asks that nor answers that dumb question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - don’t go back to him when he pops up in a few months. He was romantically love bombing you had already tried to shift the burden of what happened to other woman. Like she chased him and his pants fell down because of that

Their relationship is doomed - let her shoulder the weight of his luggage after divorce

+1

He likes easy women, hard pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - don’t go back to him when he pops up in a few months. He was romantically love bombing you had already tried to shift the burden of what happened to other woman. Like she chased him and his pants fell down because of that

Their relationship is doomed - let her shoulder the weight of his luggage after divorce

Op here. I feel gross as it now sounds like instead of building something with me…he used me for company and ego boost and to set up his bachelor pad, and then the minute he moves out of his wife’s house, he bangs another woman in his new apartment that I helped set up!!!

Wtf was he doing with me all the weeks?? 💔

How young are you?

[Anonymous]

Maybe stop dating married men who live with their wives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe stop dating married men who live with their wives?

Yea I bet he cheated on his wife thus she’s divorcing him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both you and this guy are both literally still married. Irrespective of whatever this guy did, *You* need to slow down.

Op here. I know! This is why I did not want to rush into anything and take it slow. When we met on Hinge, he still lived in the same house as his ex-wife and he was so vulnerable and new at all of this. I enjoyed his company and we clicked but I didn’t want to be used as a rebound or for him to transfer all of his unresolved feelings onto me. I said let’s take it slow and gather our bearings and especially to give him time to move out and build his independent life.

Meanwhile we saw each other once a week; had makeout sessions; texting all day and calling each other. We had a connection and a natural way of relating to each other. I helped him pick out his new apartment and went shopping with him a few times to help him get stuff for his new kitchen. We spent a romantic valentines day together.

I knew were not exclusive but felt pretty secure we are building toward something we so sort out our personal lives and logistics.

So color me surprised that he apparently built a “strong connection” with this other woman behind my Back. When I asked him what they had in common he said that she was different than me, a single mom who parented similar to him and they had a similar sense of humor. She also expressed interest in him and chased him and wanted sex early on while I was taking it slow. She wanted to see and meet him spontaneously and he liked that.

I didn’t sleep at all last night and I’m trying to pick myself back up.

You were acting like a girlfriend/wife while not actually holding that title.

Too many women waste their time and emotions auditioning for the role of girlfriend for men who will never commit. That's backwards. If he treats you like a casual date, you treat him like a casual date. You should not have been so available, and certainly not help pick out apartments or kitchen supplies. He is a grown man and can do those things himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe stop dating married men who live with their wives?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both you and this guy are both literally still married. Irrespective of whatever this guy did, *You* need to slow down.

Op here. I know! This is why I did not want to rush into anything and take it slow. When we met on Hinge, he still lived in the same house as his ex-wife and he was so vulnerable and new at all of this. I enjoyed his company and we clicked but I didn’t want to be used as a rebound or for him to transfer all of his unresolved feelings onto me. I said let’s take it slow and gather our bearings and especially to give him time to move out and build his independent life.

Meanwhile we saw each other once a week; had makeout sessions; texting all day and calling each other. We had a connection and a natural way of relating to each other. I helped him pick out his new apartment and went shopping with him a few times to help him get stuff for his new kitchen. We spent a romantic valentines day together.

I knew were not exclusive but felt pretty secure we are building toward something we so sort out our personal lives and logistics.

So color me surprised that he apparently built a “strong connection” with this other woman behind my Back. When I asked him what they had in common he said that she was different than me, a single mom who parented similar to him and they had a similar sense of humor. She also expressed interest in him and chased him and wanted sex early on while I was taking it slow. She wanted to see and meet him spontaneously and he liked that.

I didn’t sleep at all last night and I’m trying to pick myself back up.

Now I'm thinking this is a troll post because OP sounds like a young girl. He can enjoy your company and decide that a partner who wants regular sex is better for him. The other woman probably insisted that they be exclusive to lessen the risks of STDs. I think it is fine to take it slow (in terms of sex), but, you have to assume that most men are not on board with this. I'm in my early 50s. This is not some new thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is still living with his wife and out skank8ng around.
Why are you crying over this douche?

This. Girl I know it hurts but you dodged a bullet!

He picked the one that would sleep with him the fastest. Typical. He'll circle back to you at some point but I hope you don't entertain dating him again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were not exclusive as we were both separated and starting to explore what’s out there. We had a strong connection but he still lived in the same house as his soon to be ex-wife.I just thought taking things slow would be prudent. I was seeing him once a week and we were texting and calling each other all the time.

He started going cold 2 days ago and tonight told me he was also seeing this other woman and she really liked him and wanted to be exclusive. He said he wanted that too and that they slept together last Friday.

I know we weren’t exclusive but I’m surprised at how much it hurts. We did not sleep together yet. I’m sitting here crying.

Guess you should have put out earlier. Were you doing that weird thing where you try to manipulate a man into being exclusive by withholding sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You likely dodged a major bullet. This is the type of BS my STBX flings around. Just ruining lives everywhere he goes…. He can’t be alone so he’s always either love bombing or moving to the next woman. Our divorce isn’t even final yet and there’s at least 2 women who seem to be really scarred by their relationships with him.

BTW, one of them was dating him when he moved from the spare bedroom to his apartment and helped him furnish it…. She really didn’t last very long and was particularly better that he dumped her for someone else. It sounds very similar to your situation, and so I am assuming that the guy was a walking red flag. I think a lot of people can hold it together for 3 to 12 months and then start showing their true colors. And obviously, I ignored 1 million red flags and married the jerk.

I’m sure it stinks now, but it sounds like this guy belongs in your rearview mirror

You seem to know a weirdly inappropriate amount about your STBX's dating life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re giving a bit thirsty.
You two are newly separated ,not exclusive and he’s still living w his wife and dating

He’s entitled to sleep w whoever he wants .. You too.

"You're giving a bit thirsty?"

Wut. Can you try using English? She's giving what to whom? That phrasing doesn't make any sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re giving a bit thirsty.
You two are newly separated ,not exclusive and he’s still living w his wife and dating

He’s entitled to sleep w whoever he wants .. You too.

"You're giving a bit thirsty?"

Wut. Can you try using English? She's giving what to whom? That phrasing doesn't make any sense.

I knew exactly what she was saying grandpa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is still living with his wife and out skank8ng around.
Why are you crying over this douche?

This. Girl I know it hurts but you dodged a bullet!

He picked the one that would sleep with him the fastest. Typical. He'll circle back to you at some point but I hope you don't entertain dating him again!

I wouldn't assume he'll circle back. It isn't just separated/divorced men who are interested in regular sex.