Guy I was dating slept with someone else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You likely dodged a major bullet. This is the type of BS my STBX flings around. Just ruining lives everywhere he goes…. He can’t be alone so he’s always either love bombing or moving to the next woman. Our divorce isn’t even final yet and there’s at least 2 women who seem to be really scarred by their relationships with him.

BTW, one of them was dating him when he moved from the spare bedroom to his apartment and helped him furnish it…. She really didn’t last very long and was particularly better that he dumped her for someone else. It sounds very similar to your situation, and so I am assuming that the guy was a walking red flag. I think a lot of people can hold it together for 3 to 12 months and then start showing their true colors. And obviously, I ignored 1 million red flags and married the jerk.

I’m sure it stinks now, but it sounds like this guy belongs in your rearview mirror

Yes, you are perfectly on point. OLD is filled mostly with this type.
The only way to fight it off is to treat them like sh..t and be a total men eater sl..t yourself. Like, demand attention, put conditions, be a high maintenance b..tech, put them down. Then this type tends to really go after you and value you
But they are deeply damaged deep inside and not capable of love

OP’s BF was playing love with both women. He’s not in love with either one

[Anonymous]

It makes sense that you're hurting, OP. I'm sorry to hear it. Give yourself time to grieve the lost potential and be extra nice to yourself.

Sometimes rejection is protection.

[Anonymous]

God leads your way to help you avoid people who are wrong for you .

Be grateful. Learn to love yourself first before letting yourself fall into anyone

[Anonymous]

Bullet dodged. If you wouldn’t behave like that to someone else, don’t let them behave like that to you. I’m sure it hurts if you liked him, but honestly focus on that action and move on to better (or even be happier alone).

[Anonymous]

You said you were taking it slow, not being exclusive, and not having slept together. You were taking it too slow.

[Anonymous]

He is so trashy, OP. He could of
just told you he was no longer interested in seeing you. Instead he tells you some BS drama story about another woman he is seeing and that he slept with her. GROSS. I would rather be alone. Block and delete him.

[Anonymous]

You aren't ready to date. You aren't even divorced. Pause, take a breath and regroup. Work on yourself before diving back into the Shark infested waters.

[Anonymous]

Aww I am sorry that you are crying 😢 OP - - this really must be a huge disappointment for you.

You will probably feel sad for a little while but shouldn’t be too long.

This guy is not a match for you…..you will meet someone else once you feel better. ❤️‍🩹

[Anonymous]

He’s only just moving out of his marital home, not divorced yet…

You were taking it at an appropriate pace, and should have no regrets. I’m sorry it hurts, OP. You have a caring heart.

He was y the right guy. But the first connection after a separation can be very powerful. Give yourself time to heal. And don’t be surprised if you hear from him again. He’s moving pretty fast for someone who just separated and moved out.

[Anonymous]

*wasn’t the right guy ^^

[Anonymous]

Didn’t you just post about how you were seeing him but not sleeping with him and how he “still lived with his wife but were separated “. Didn’t he ditch you for Valentine’s Day? I think you have some deep underlying issues and need therapy.

[Anonymous]

That’s just part of modern dating. It sucks when it happens to you, but also, there will be times a guy really likes you and you end up picking someone else.

I’ve found it helps to limit the texting and calling. Texting creates a false sense of intimacy and bonds you when it’s a really low effort way of communicating. It gives you high amount of dopamine but no oxytocin, you really want in person interactions that give oxytocin. What makes you so sad is the sudden loss of all that dopamine.

[Anonymous]

You dodged a bullet

[Anonymous]

Both you and this guy are both literally still married. Irrespective of whatever this guy did, *You* need to slow down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were not exclusive as we were both separated and starting to explore what’s out there. We had a strong connection but he still lived in the same house as his soon to be ex-wife.I just thought taking things slow would be prudent. I was seeing him once a week and we were texting and calling each other all the time.

He started going cold 2 days ago and tonight told me he was also seeing this other woman and she really liked him and wanted to be exclusive. He said he wanted that too and that they slept together last Friday.

I know we weren’t exclusive but I’m surprised at how much it hurts. We did not sleep together yet. I’m sitting here crying.

Be so glad you never slept with him. Good call!