Guy I was dating slept with someone else

[Anonymous]

You’re giving a bit thirsty.
You two are newly separated ,not exclusive and he’s still living w his wife and dating

He’s entitled to sleep w whoever he wants .. You too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re giving a bit thirsty.
You two are newly separated ,not exclusive and he’s still living w his wife and dating

He’s entitled to sleep w whoever he wants .. You too.

Np. Sure, he’s entitled. She’s entitled. But she’s a good person and assumed spending a lot of time together meant something. That’s how normal people behave. But I guess skan@s like you and the bf think it’s normal to be entangled in multiple relationships with people. So low class

[Anonymous]

You got hopeful but were disappointed. It’s normal to feel upset, and maybe this upset happened at the exact moment where it hit you harder than it should. It’s ok. But you dodged a bullet. A decent man would have told you BEFORE, not after.

[Anonymous]

OP - don’t question your judgement. You did everything right. You will develop teeth in the game over time. It’s just there are very few people like you out there and they’ll be taken advantage of often.
Try to limit your investment of time in men until they show real investment of theirs. Usually men show real investment by inviting you out, spending money and planning experiences with you. A man who is truly worthy, financially stable and interested in you romantically would have offered to go out of town for a weekend.
And just ignore other men who pop up pop out via text or try to call you. Only consider real action

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both you and this guy are both literally still married. Irrespective of whatever this guy did, *You* need to slow down.

Op here. I know! This is why I did not want to rush into anything and take it slow. When we met on Hinge, he still lived in the same house as his ex-wife and he was so vulnerable and new at all of this. I enjoyed his company and we clicked but I didn’t want to be used as a rebound or for him to transfer all of his unresolved feelings onto me. I said let’s take it slow and gather our bearings and especially to give him time to move out and build his independent life.

Meanwhile we saw each other once a week; had makeout sessions; texting all day and calling each other. We had a connection and a natural way of relating to each other. I helped him pick out his new apartment and went shopping with him a few times to help him get stuff for his new kitchen. We spent a romantic valentines day together.

I knew were not exclusive but felt pretty secure we are building toward something we so sort out our personal lives and logistics.

So color me surprised that he apparently built a “strong connection” with this other woman behind my Back. When I asked him what they had in common he said that she was different than me, a single mom who parented similar to him and they had a similar sense of humor. She also expressed interest in him and chased him and wanted sex early on while I was taking it slow. She wanted to see and meet him spontaneously and he liked that.

I didn’t sleep at all last night and I’m trying to pick myself back up.

[Anonymous]

He took you shopping for his new apartment? That’s his idea for a good date? This guy is a selfish idiot at best.

Block and flush the brain chemicals, and move on OP!!

[Anonymous]

OP - don’t go back to him when he pops up in a few months. He was romantically love bombing you had already tried to shift the burden of what happened to other woman. Like she chased him and his pants fell down because of that

Their relationship is doomed - let her shoulder the weight of his luggage after divorce

[Anonymous]

Lucky for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He took you shopping for his new apartment? That’s his idea for a good date? This guy is a selfish idiot at best.

Block and flush the brain chemicals, and move on OP!!

Yea, I would never take upon any household duties from somone I’m not even exclusive. And it doesn’t sound like a well planned date for mutual enjoyment. Just low effort stringing OP along.

Don’t you have your own interesting social life ? Join meetups social activities go to gym chess nights whatever. Your calendar should be filled in the evenings without any men !

When the right man comes along, he should be added to that calendar not replace your whole life with his interests and friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - don’t go back to him when he pops up in a few months. He was romantically love bombing you had already tried to shift the burden of what happened to other woman. Like she chased him and his pants fell down because of that

Their relationship is doomed - let her shoulder the weight of his luggage after divorce

Op here. I feel gross as it now sounds like instead of building something with me…he used me for company and ego boost and to set up his bachelor pad, and then the minute he moves out of his wife’s house, he bangs another woman in his new apartment that I helped set up!!!

Wtf was he doing with me all the weeks?? 💔

[Anonymous]

You have a sexual ethic of "if it feels good, do it". So did this guy. Why is anyone surprised this happens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re giving a bit thirsty.
You two are newly separated ,not exclusive and he’s still living w his wife and dating

He’s entitled to sleep w whoever he wants .. You too.

Np. Sure, he’s entitled. She’s entitled. But she’s a good person and assumed spending a lot of time together meant something. That’s how normal people behave. But I guess skan@s like you and the bf think it’s normal to be entangled in multiple relationships with people. So low class

Spending a lot of time with a married man who still lives with his WHOLE entire wife? Girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - don’t go back to him when he pops up in a few months. He was romantically love bombing you had already tried to shift the burden of what happened to other woman. Like she chased him and his pants fell down because of that

Their relationship is doomed - let her shoulder the weight of his luggage after divorce

Op here. I feel gross as it now sounds like instead of building something with me…he used me for company and ego boost and to set up his bachelor pad, and then the minute he moves out of his wife’s house, he bangs another woman in his new apartment that I helped set up!!!

Wtf was he doing with me all the weeks?? 💔

Maybe he just enjoyed your company as a friend and doesn't feel a romantic attraction to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been in OP's situation. I also have been in the situation of the guy OP was dating. It's a feature of modern dating. Everyone has lots of options. Neither one of those people is evil or stupid. If you are dating in the modern world, you need to be resilient. It's hard. Most people get hurt, and the few who don't are usually probably very avoidant or difficult people. A long term relationship is a short term relationship that lasted.

Well said. I've also been the person who wanted to be exclusive but we weren't quite and they found someone else. Pretty sure I've also been the person who got the man who may have had other irons in the fire but went exclusive with me (I'll have to ask).

DEFINITELY been the girl who lost the guy and then he immediately got married! I could write books on that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both you and this guy are both literally still married. Irrespective of whatever this guy did, *You* need to slow down.

Op here. I know! This is why I did not want to rush into anything and take it slow. When we met on Hinge, he still lived in the same house as his ex-wife and he was so vulnerable and new at all of this. I enjoyed his company and we clicked but I didn’t want to be used as a rebound or for him to transfer all of his unresolved feelings onto me. I said let’s take it slow and gather our bearings and especially to give him time to move out and build his independent life.

Meanwhile we saw each other once a week; had makeout sessions; texting all day and calling each other. We had a connection and a natural way of relating to each other. I helped him pick out his new apartment and went shopping with him a few times to help him get stuff for his new kitchen. We spent a romantic valentines day together.

I knew were not exclusive but felt pretty secure we are building toward something we so sort out our personal lives and logistics.

So color me surprised that he apparently built a “strong connection” with this other woman behind my Back. When I asked him what they had in common he said that she was different than me, a single mom who parented similar to him and they had a similar sense of humor. She also expressed interest in him and chased him and wanted sex early on while I was taking it slow. She wanted to see and meet him spontaneously and he liked that.

I didn’t sleep at all last night and I’m trying to pick myself back up.

That does suck. But, in general, people who are only just dealing with a divorce are going to be all over the place emotionally. That first connection with someone new is going to lead to a huge dopamine spike. And for some as they get introduced to online dating, they are going to want to connect and sleep with new people like its a drug. Suddenly the possibilities seem endless. And they are still dealing with the fallout from their divorce. Messy all around for everyone involved. It seems like a lot of people are giving up on online dating and making more effort to meet people organically. It's easier to get a sense of someone outside of the pressure of dating. That's easier said then done, of course. But you are not wrong to take things slow. Men are in the same boat too. They click with someone. Get hurt because she's seeing other people. And then they too shut down emotionally and don't want to commit because they don't want to get hurt again. Dating with the intent of finding a partner is difficult for everyone these days.