In-laws want to go see ds in college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Does your son want a grandparent visit?

If not, that’s the only reason I would intervene.

Otherwise, let your husband handle it. You can conveniently have to “work” or get a cold before the trip. Basically, stop making this your problem. When my husband used to say “we should take the kids to church more, it means a lot to my parents” instead of arguing or stressing, I would say “Sure! Let me know where you want to go.” and he would predictably plan nothing. The youngest graduates high school next year.

You can say “That sounds nice!” whenever in-laws bring up the trip and move on with your life. If your husband wants to book hotels, plan the drive and go with them, more power to them! It could be a nice bonding experience with his parents.

This! My DH used to say that about church. I said sure, why don't you find an outfit and shoes for each of them and let me know when you've done that. Then the children grew up. The end!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, if your DH doesn't want to go alone, it's his problem. You're making it yours. Just say no and tell him to take his parents if he wants to or communicate any arrangements directly! Why are you letting them triangulate? His parents = his problem.

[Anonymous]

OP, you and DH do not need to take on any role to solve this for them. Their "wants" are not important unless they can arrange and do it themselves OR DH wants to help make it happen. He's under no obligation.

If they are fit enough to travel - they figure it out. Likely they should prepare themselves for the student to be -not too- available. They should be prepared that it could be they see the student or one dinner meal, and maybe a fairly quick stop-by of the dorm.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need to attend ?
Let them plan and coordinate w their grandchild less you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need to attend ?
Let them plan and coordinate w their grandchild less you

+1. Don't be surprised if he persuades them to take the train.

[Anonymous]

Do you and DH always have to do stuff together? Is there a reason he can't do this alone. I'm confused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you and DH always have to do stuff together? Is there a reason he can't do this alone. I'm confused.

We do things alone all the time. He just does not want to spend the whole weekend alone with his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you and DH always have to do stuff together? Is there a reason he can't do this alone. I'm confused.

We do things alone all the time. He just does not want to spend the whole weekend alone with his parents.

Then he should say no.

[Anonymous]

DH's parents = DH's ownership of the trip logistics. "What a nice idea. Spring is my busy season at work so I wouldn't be able to get away. But check with Brad and see if he's up for it."

Another option is they drive out with you to pick up DS at the end of the year. Walk the campus, go to dinner, then take them to the local rental car outlet so they can get back to the airport in their own time while you pack out DS. Warn them ahead of time that there will not be passenger space on the return trip because of all DS' stuff. "You know how college kids are -- it barely fit in the car on the way TO school, and I'm sure he's acquired more stuff along the way."

[Anonymous]

They might think they are being nice grandparents by offering to do this. If you are ok with including them on parents weekend for next year, offer that.

[Anonymous]

That is ridiculous.

"Here is the address, unfortunately I can't join for this trip, but let me know if/when you make travel plans and I'll let DS know."

You should not be responsible to be their chauffeur for whatever whim they want. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

You are not willing to spend one weekend to keep the peach in the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not willing to spend one weekend to keep the peach in the house?

Doesn't sound like they live in her house, thank god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you and DH always have to do stuff together? Is there a reason he can't do this alone. I'm confused.

We do things alone all the time. He just does not want to spend the whole weekend alone with his parents.

Then he should say no.

This. Just tell him you’re not going on any such trip, and he can do as he likes. He shouldn’t be using you as a buffer.

[Anonymous]

Let go OP. Not your parents.