East coast bubble views are hard for me to listen to as a ‘fly over’ state transplant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an east coast native from a working class white ethnic background. DH grew up comfortably middle class in the midwest. He and I met in college and have lived for many years in DC. When I first met my MIL she asked lots of offensive questions about my family’s religion and on my first visits home with DH the awful, flavorless food and the flatness of everything made me feel lonely. In hindsight a lot of this was just my own provincialness—I didn’t realize there were places in America where you couldn’t get a decent bagel! It has also changed a lot in the past 20 years. DH’s hometown is no longer 100% white protestant, the local grocery stores stock a wider variety of items, etc. But I think a lot of brainy east coast women reject “flyover” because they sense it may also reject them.

I do think that a lot of it comes from east coasters being a lot more provincial than anyone anywhere else in the country. A lot of people never leave, and a lot of television and movies take place there. It’s like being super-American.

I’m from a rural area in the Midwest and I cannot imagine, at any point in my life, thinking that I could go to another city and the food would taste the same as at home, the stores would be the same, or that people would do the same things in their free time.

I’m sorry you didn’t like the food options available to you, but get over it. Experience a different place.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am very sus of states that voted for Trump with 60+ percent of the vote. I can’t help it.

That's really stupid. Some of the most far left liberal people I know live in red states.

So it’s a thing that people of the opposite party in a state that is more than 60% the other party are more extreme. This is why you see more extreme far right and militia nuts coming out of Michigan and CA.

Hate to break it to you but there are lots of gun nuts in rural areas near the DMV. PA, WV, and rural VA come to mind.

You're just bolstering PP's point...

Those are too close to be flyover. PA is Mid-Atlantic and Eastern seaboard.

East PA is east coast. Central and Western can be considered "fly over"

Okay. I kind of think people associate with their whole state. But it's not necessary to debate this at length.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved to the east coast 20 years ago but I’m still bothered by all the stray insults I hear from my ‘liberal’ friends about the ‘flyover states’ which they assume are full of uncultured idiots. For the most past, they’ve never visited these places. I had lunch with a friend this week and she made comments like this ‘I can’t help it, those places are awful, I’m a proud snob, I like art and culture and education’ - as if others don’t? We also discussed politics, taxes, etc and even though she claims to be a socialist leaning Dem, she noted that she has ‘carefully saved and invested and why should I need to support others who haven’t been as careful?’ Meanwhile she has only worked intermittently her entire adult life, spends lavishly much of the time, and primarily lives from her now ex husbands money.

She talks a lot about how terrible Trump is and how he needs to be stopped. I noted that it seems to be people from a flyover state who are out on the streets more than where we live…

How do you deal with snobby clueless people like this? Any good comebacks?

And no, slow fade isn’t a good response. If I slow faded everyone who bugs me af times, I wouldn’t have any friends!

Maybe just tell her that she’s missing out on a lot if she’s not willing to expand her interests. You can like the ballet AND you can enjoy a good game of paintball . People from flyover country know this!

[Anonymous]

It’s funny. I’ve never been to the east coast and grew up in two of the least populated states in the union. I now live in Iowa. I feel claustrophobic here sometimes. Every square inch is owned and planned for something. I avoid Rush hour in my 50,000 person town where I might be third in line at a light. Our 6k square ft house was 590k. And is in on acre in town. I say this as some maybe wonder what it’s like here w next to no culture and other things on the east coast. I’ve never had a good bagel. The seafood is not something you should order at a restaurant. I buy half a buffalo every other year from a farmer, the Amish process it, and I have two deep freezes to store it. I buy 13 dozen ears of corn from the back of a truck the first of August and we have a corn freezing party.
I often wonder how things work on the east coast.
I’m just explaining how different we are. Although I have always lived in a flyover state, I wonder what my life would be like had I grown up elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m from a fly over state and always bond with other fly over state transplants in making fun of our states and hometowns. The blah food, no art or culture, everything football or baseball, bad hair, obesity, constantly glued to TVs, regressive views and low education. As a GenX, the difference between fly over states and a large coastal city was enormous. The gap may not be as bad now with more immigrant communities and younger people moving into cities in some fly over places.

Some areas are becoming much more interesting like Wisconsin, Michigan, and Minnesota. If you changed the culture, states like Tennessee, and Kentucky have some really nice landscapes. Ohio and Indiana are mostly armpits. I don’t know how you do anything with Kansas, Nebraska or
Iowa. Missouri and Arkansas will never dig out of poverty and meth addiction.

You're a piece of work

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I am very sus of states that voted for Trump with 60+ percent of the vote. I can’t help it.

That's really stupid. Some of the most far left liberal people I know live in red states.

So it’s a thing that people of the opposite party in a state that is more than 60% the other party are more extreme. This is why you see more extreme far right and militia nuts coming out of Michigan and CA.

Hate to break it to you but there are lots of gun nuts in rural areas near the DMV. PA, WV, and rural VA come to mind.

You're just bolstering PP's point...

Those are too close to be flyover. PA is Mid-Atlantic and Eastern seaboard.

East PA is east coast. Central and Western can be considered "fly over"

Okay. I kind of think people associate with their whole state. But it's not necessary to debate this at length.

It is a distinctly PA thing for the Philly region to not associate itself with the rest of the state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an east coast native from a working class white ethnic background. DH grew up comfortably middle class in the midwest. He and I met in college and have lived for many years in DC. When I first met my MIL she asked lots of offensive questions about my family’s religion and on my first visits home with DH the awful, flavorless food and the flatness of everything made me feel lonely. In hindsight a lot of this was just my own provincialness—I didn’t realize there were places in America where you couldn’t get a decent bagel! It has also changed a lot in the past 20 years. DH’s hometown is no longer 100% white protestant, the local grocery stores stock a wider variety of items, etc. But I think a lot of brainy east coast women reject “flyover” because they sense it may also reject them.

I do think that a lot of it comes from east coasters being a lot more provincial than anyone anywhere else in the country. A lot of people never leave, and a lot of television and movies take place there. It’s like being super-American.

I’m from a rural area in the Midwest and I cannot imagine, at any point in my life, thinking that I could go to another city and the food would taste the same as at home, the stores would be the same, or that people would do the same things in their free time.

I’m sorry you didn’t like the food options available to you, but get over it. Experience a different place.

I think the PP said she was bothered by the food and didn’t know any better—she says she was from a working class background so possibly hadn’t traveled much. It sounds like she has matured since then. But that also possibly her MIL is antisemitic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very sus of states that voted for Trump with 60+ percent of the vote. I can’t help it.

That's really stupid. Some of the most far left liberal people I know live in red states.

So it’s a thing that people of the opposite party in a state that is more than 60% the other party are more extreme. This is why you see more extreme far right and militia nuts coming out of Michigan and CA.

Hate to break it to you but there are lots of gun nuts in rural areas near the DMV. PA, WV, and rural VA come to mind.

You're just bolstering PP's point...

Those are too close to be flyover. PA is Mid-Atlantic and Eastern seaboard.

East PA is east coast. Central and Western can be considered "fly over"

Okay. I kind of think people associate with their whole state. But it's not necessary to debate this at length.

It is a distinctly PA thing for the Philly region to not associate itself with the rest of the state.

It is a distinctly Philly/Eastern PA thing.

I am a Pittsburgher and my family considers Pittsburgh part of Pennsylvania, not part of the Midwest, not part of flyover country. Some of them originated in Illinois so they do intimately know where the Midwest is.

[Anonymous]

OP, you won't find any well matched friends until you let go of the ones that bother you. Tune your radar better. Get involved with alumni from your college. Learn to ask better questions of people you are just meeting to learn if they have similar geographic experiences as you.

[Anonymous]

I’m from Arizona which is up there with Florida for being a butt of nations jokes (the Good Place is hysterical for this).
I’ve literally never heard anyone make comments like this and everyone I know is prograssive. A lot of opeilel are from places like Ohio and Indiana. Who the heck are you hanging out with that they make those comments?

On the other hand. a lot of people move here because they don’t like the anti-intellectualism in their home state. There’s a lot I love about Arizona but man people (not all of them, but a bunch) can sometimes be pretty willfully ignorant. I mean, Joe Aroaio was elected repeatedly. And I’m old enough to remember Evan Meaxhem. Plus you get fun things like a store at my parents strip mall that sells AK 47s (sign out front) right next to the dollar tree and the library. Arizona, baby. (There’s upside too, but there’s a reason I left for college.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved to the east coast 20 years ago but I’m still bothered by all the stray insults I hear from my ‘liberal’ friends about the ‘flyover states’ which they assume are full of uncultured idiots. For the most past, they’ve never visited these places. I had lunch with a friend this week and she made comments like this ‘I can’t help it, those places are awful, I’m a proud snob, I like art and culture and education’ - as if others don’t? We also discussed politics, taxes, etc and even though she claims to be a socialist leaning Dem, she noted that she has ‘carefully saved and invested and why should I need to support others who haven’t been as careful?’ Meanwhile she has only worked intermittently her entire adult life, spends lavishly much of the time, and primarily lives from her now ex husbands money.

She talks a lot about how terrible Trump is and how he needs to be stopped. I noted that it seems to be people from a flyover state who are out on the streets more than where we live…

How do you deal with snobby clueless people like this? Any good comebacks?

And no, slow fade isn’t a good response. If I slow faded everyone who bugs me af times, I wouldn’t have any friends!

This was exactly my experience when I moved from the Midwest to the Boston area. Few Northeasterners have spent much time in the Midwest, but almost all think they know all about it.

Note that when there are questions on Jeopardy about flyover state geography or the Great Lakes, the coastal people usually have no clue.

You are generalizing in the same way, so I don't feel sorry for you one little bit, PP.

Nobody’s asking for pity. But it would be nice if people wouldn’t be so dismissive of whole regions about which they know almost nothing.

That also goes for people in rural states that like to criticize coastal “elites”.

Yeah, actually — I hear this a lot more than I hear anyone from the coasts bashing on “flyover” states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like you're rage-baiting, OP. Most people are not like this. None of my progressive, educated, well-off, east coast friends behave like this.

Oh god, what? I never said that most people are like this. But some are. If it doesn’t apply to you, move on.

You sound lovely.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered making friends with other flyover transplants? Maybe you could bond over how terrible us East Coasters are.

[Anonymous]

My favorite genre of this person (who usually but not always is a white or Asian unmarried woman) are the ones who think that living in DC is the height of sophistication and worldliness.

Once at work event one such person made a comment alluding to the bumpkins who reside in the MD/VA burbs, seemingly unaware that 95% of the people in earshot, including multiple partners, who those such people. It was amusing watching her career stall after that comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like you're rage-baiting, OP. Most people are not like this. None of my progressive, educated, well-off, east coast friends behave like this.

+1