East coast bubble views are hard for me to listen to as a ‘fly over’ state transplant

[Anonymous]

I moved to the east coast 20 years ago but I’m still bothered by all the stray insults I hear from my ‘liberal’ friends about the ‘flyover states’ which they assume are full of uncultured idiots. For the most past, they’ve never visited these places. I had lunch with a friend this week and she made comments like this ‘I can’t help it, those places are awful, I’m a proud snob, I like art and culture and education’ - as if others don’t? We also discussed politics, taxes, etc and even though she claims to be a socialist leaning Dem, she noted that she has ‘carefully saved and invested and why should I need to support others who haven’t been as careful?’ Meanwhile she has only worked intermittently her entire adult life, spends lavishly much of the time, and primarily lives from her now ex husbands money.

She talks a lot about how terrible Trump is and how he needs to be stopped. I noted that it seems to be people from a flyover state who are out on the streets more than where we live…

How do you deal with snobby clueless people like this? Any good comebacks?

And no, slow fade isn’t a good response. If I slow faded everyone who bugs me af times, I wouldn’t have any friends!

[Anonymous]

Seems like you're rage-baiting, OP. Most people are not like this. None of my progressive, educated, well-off, east coast friends behave like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems like you're rage-baiting, OP. Most people are not like this. None of my progressive, educated, well-off, east coast friends behave like this.

Oh god, what? I never said that most people are like this. But some are. If it doesn’t apply to you, move on.

[Anonymous]

So, you want to stay friends? Be honest with her. It’s not that difficult.

[Anonymous]

Just try to change the topic. They won’t change your view. They are ignorant bc they never lived in your state.

[Anonymous]

I am very sus of states that voted for Trump with 60+ percent of the vote. I can’t help it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very sus of states that voted for Trump with 60+ percent of the vote. I can’t help it.

I once worked with someone who told me their family felt as if they were the only Democrats in Kentucky She was a lovely person and I was glad to know her. Don't dismiss people off-hand, PP.

[Anonymous]

Are you in DC? If so, it's weird that people are like that because this city is full of transplants from all over the country and the world. As former military, we've lived all over the place and haven't encountered people saying anything disparaging. The most I get asked is how living in Kentucky was an LGBT person (completely fine, if you're curious).

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself why her ignorant comments bug you so much. Look, I get it. I am from a flyover state as well and have heard "East Coast bubble" types say some pretty ridiculous things. Of course, flyover people often have their own stereotyped views of "coastal elites" as well. I would just roll my eyes and point out why she is wrong if she says something really egregious.

[Anonymous]

I loathe reading such complaints that generalize an experience and turn it into a screed against an entire group.

Don't you realize you're doing exactly what you're accusing your friend of doing? She's got something against flyover states and you've got something against east coast people. You deserve each other. You are associating with people like you.

Just stop and think about how you're writing your complaints. Don't generalize unthinkingly. And try and do better, and make better friends.

[Anonymous]

Meh these people are triggered because its them. Fellow Wisconsinte and lol yeah people are here are pretty delusional.

Lol yes, do better when judging extremely privileged people quick to throw out a generalization. You're so mean OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you in DC? If so, it's weird that people are like that because this city is full of transplants from all over the country and the world. As former military, we've lived all over the place and haven't encountered people saying anything disparaging. The most I get asked is how living in Kentucky was an LGBT person (completely fine, if you're curious).

Very true. We're European living in DC. I have gradually come to understand that the USA is a very heterogeneous place, but when I first came here, I didn't know that some people looked down on others because they came from the midwest. You know where I got that? DCUM. No one in real life has ever said anything like this. I know people from many geographic origins in the US (west, midwest, east, south) and they've never criticized other states.

Sounds like you're not picking your friend group correctly.

[Anonymous]

Speak up and use your words. Stand up for yourself. If they're that clueless educate them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very sus of states that voted for Trump with 60+ percent of the vote. I can’t help it.

That's really stupid. Some of the most far left liberal people I know live in red states.

[Anonymous]

I’m from a fly over state and always bond with other fly over state transplants in making fun of our states and hometowns. The blah food, no art or culture, everything football or baseball, bad hair, obesity, constantly glued to TVs, regressive views and low education. As a GenX, the difference between fly over states and a large coastal city was enormous. The gap may not be as bad now with more immigrant communities and younger people moving into cities in some fly over places.

Some areas are becoming much more interesting like Wisconsin, Michigan, and Minnesota. If you changed the culture, states like Tennessee, and Kentucky have some really nice landscapes. Ohio and Indiana are mostly armpits. I don’t know how you do anything with Kansas, Nebraska or
Iowa. Missouri and Arkansas will never dig out of poverty and meth addiction.