Belle Burden’s “Strangers”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

I suppose. But if she had lied for example about her kids having a room in his new apartment when the essay said he refused to have rooms for them, he could have refuted that. It’s cold to get a new home and not even allow your 3 kids overnights, let alone have any space for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have this on hold at the library and I read the earlier NYT article.

I concur with most of what was said above and will add that the pandemic and being with the family 24/7 was probably what caused him to act. He probably never saw her or the kids, worked a lot and spent time as he wished after work and couldn't see his current AP. He was used to a lot of freedom and didn't want to live without it.

Definitely not being able to see the mistress triggered it. He told his wife he was going straight to see her right after he dumped her.

The mistress’ husband called her. He got outed.

Yeah, but he wanted out. He didn’t even attempt reconciliation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

I suppose. But if she had lied for example about her kids having a room in his new apartment when the essay said he refused to have rooms for them, he could have refuted that. It’s cold to get a new home and not even allow your 3 kids overnights, let alone have any space for them.

I don’t think she lied about custody. I think, for him, the relationship with the kids is good because he sees them occasionally (they’re old enough not to see him at all if they want) and it’s pleasant. He probably doesn’t spend any less time with them than when he lived at home. For him not much changed, and maybe not for them either. Why would they sleep in his small apartment when their mom lives in a large place in the same neighborhood? It’s not like he’s going to be hanging around making them pancakes in the morning. We don’t know how the kids feel about this, but it doesn’t sound like they are estranged. He could have moved to an inconvenient location but chose a place close by. I’m not saying he’s a great guy, far from it, but I think her account needs parsing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

I suppose. But if she had lied for example about her kids having a room in his new apartment when the essay said he refused to have rooms for them, he could have refuted that. It’s cold to get a new home and not even allow your 3 kids overnights, let alone have any space for them.

I don’t think she lied about custody. I think, for him, the relationship with the kids is good because he sees them occasionally (they’re old enough not to see him at all if they want) and it’s pleasant. He probably doesn’t spend any less time with them than when he lived at home. For him not much changed, and maybe not for them either. Why would they sleep in his small apartment when their mom lives in a large place in the same neighborhood? It’s not like he’s going to be hanging around making them pancakes in the morning. We don’t know how the kids feel about this, but it doesn’t sound like they are estranged. He could have moved to an inconvenient location but chose a place close by. I’m not saying he’s a great guy, far from it, but I think her account needs parsing.

lol nobody needs to parse it. He was an absent father when they were married and is even more absent now. I’m sure he does believe that taking them to dinner once a week is being “very involved” though.

[Anonymous]

He obviously has a different perception of reality than his ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

I suppose. But if she had lied for example about her kids having a room in his new apartment when the essay said he refused to have rooms for them, he could have refuted that. It’s cold to get a new home and not even allow your 3 kids overnights, let alone have any space for them.

I don’t think she lied about custody. I think, for him, the relationship with the kids is good because he sees them occasionally (they’re old enough not to see him at all if they want) and it’s pleasant. He probably doesn’t spend any less time with them than when he lived at home. For him not much changed, and maybe not for them either. Why would they sleep in his small apartment when their mom lives in a large place in the same neighborhood? It’s not like he’s going to be hanging around making them pancakes in the morning. We don’t know how the kids feel about this, but it doesn’t sound like they are estranged. He could have moved to an inconvenient location but chose a place close by. I’m not saying he’s a great guy, far from it, but I think her account needs parsing.

lol nobody needs to parse it. He was an absent father when they were married and is even more absent now. I’m sure he does believe that taking them to dinner once a week is being “very involved” though.

He never claimed to be very involved, just stated their relationship remains caring and supportive. Which it might be, we don’t know. If they had nothing but low expectations for him before, nothing has really changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

I suppose. But if she had lied for example about her kids having a room in his new apartment when the essay said he refused to have rooms for them, he could have refuted that. It’s cold to get a new home and not even allow your 3 kids overnights, let alone have any space for them.

I don’t think she lied about custody. I think, for him, the relationship with the kids is good because he sees them occasionally (they’re old enough not to see him at all if they want) and it’s pleasant. He probably doesn’t spend any less time with them than when he lived at home. For him not much changed, and maybe not for them either. Why would they sleep in his small apartment when their mom lives in a large place in the same neighborhood? It’s not like he’s going to be hanging around making them pancakes in the morning. We don’t know how the kids feel about this, but it doesn’t sound like they are estranged. He could have moved to an inconvenient location but chose a place close by. I’m not saying he’s a great guy, far from it, but I think her account needs parsing.

lol nobody needs to parse it. He was an absent father when they were married and is even more absent now. I’m sure he does believe that taking them to dinner once a week is being “very involved” though.

+1. There’s nothing to parse here. He said he had no desire for custody after spawning 3 kids. I know dads who aren’t super involved, but at least have every other weekend with their kids after a divorce.

He left his wife 5 years ago and the kids are older now, and she said he saw them for occasional dinners and sports games. That’s not a father level of engagement-more like a lightly involved uncle.

At least through her book, people know her ex is a jerk. No need to keep up appearances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

I suppose. But if she had lied for example about her kids having a room in his new apartment when the essay said he refused to have rooms for them, he could have refuted that. It’s cold to get a new home and not even allow your 3 kids overnights, let alone have any space for them.

I don’t think she lied about custody. I think, for him, the relationship with the kids is good because he sees them occasionally (they’re old enough not to see him at all if they want) and it’s pleasant. He probably doesn’t spend any less time with them than when he lived at home. For him not much changed, and maybe not for them either. Why would they sleep in his small apartment when their mom lives in a large place in the same neighborhood? It’s not like he’s going to be hanging around making them pancakes in the morning. We don’t know how the kids feel about this, but it doesn’t sound like they are estranged. He could have moved to an inconvenient location but chose a place close by. I’m not saying he’s a great guy, far from it, but I think her account needs parsing.

lol nobody needs to parse it. He was an absent father when they were married and is even more absent now. I’m sure he does believe that taking them to dinner once a week is being “very involved” though.

He never claimed to be very involved, just stated their relationship remains caring and supportive. Which it might be, we don’t know. If they had nothing but low expectations for him before, nothing has really changed.

It was weird that he said that they were supportive of him. That’s a weird thing for a parent to say.

[Anonymous]

She doesn’t say whether the romance with the mistress continued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

I suppose. But if she had lied for example about her kids having a room in his new apartment when the essay said he refused to have rooms for them, he could have refuted that. It’s cold to get a new home and not even allow your 3 kids overnights, let alone have any space for them.

I don’t think she lied about custody. I think, for him, the relationship with the kids is good because he sees them occasionally (they’re old enough not to see him at all if they want) and it’s pleasant. He probably doesn’t spend any less time with them than when he lived at home. For him not much changed, and maybe not for them either. Why would they sleep in his small apartment when their mom lives in a large place in the same neighborhood? It’s not like he’s going to be hanging around making them pancakes in the morning. We don’t know how the kids feel about this, but it doesn’t sound like they are estranged. He could have moved to an inconvenient location but chose a place close by. I’m not saying he’s a great guy, far from it, but I think her account needs parsing.

lol nobody needs to parse it. He was an absent father when they were married and is even more absent now. I’m sure he does believe that taking them to dinner once a week is being “very involved” though.

He never claimed to be very involved, just stated their relationship remains caring and supportive. Which it might be, we don’t know. If they had nothing but low expectations for him before, nothing has really changed.

It was weird that he said that they were supportive of him. That’s a weird thing for a parent to say.

Weird thing is that he seems to believe it. Her kids haven’t spoken out against her book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

I suppose. But if she had lied for example about her kids having a room in his new apartment when the essay said he refused to have rooms for them, he could have refuted that. It’s cold to get a new home and not even allow your 3 kids overnights, let alone have any space for them.

I don’t think she lied about custody. I think, for him, the relationship with the kids is good because he sees them occasionally (they’re old enough not to see him at all if they want) and it’s pleasant. He probably doesn’t spend any less time with them than when he lived at home. For him not much changed, and maybe not for them either. Why would they sleep in his small apartment when their mom lives in a large place in the same neighborhood? It’s not like he’s going to be hanging around making them pancakes in the morning. We don’t know how the kids feel about this, but it doesn’t sound like they are estranged. He could have moved to an inconvenient location but chose a place close by. I’m not saying he’s a great guy, far from it, but I think her account needs parsing.

lol nobody needs to parse it. He was an absent father when they were married and is even more absent now. I’m sure he does believe that taking them to dinner once a week is being “very involved” though.

He never claimed to be very involved, just stated their relationship remains caring and supportive. Which it might be, we don’t know. If they had nothing but low expectations for him before, nothing has really changed.

It was weird that he said that they were supportive of him. That’s a weird thing for a parent to say.

Weird thing is that he seems to believe it. Her kids haven’t spoken out against her book.

He probably interprets them as being supportive of choices because they haven’t begged him to return. I mean what is a kid supposed to say to a dad who wants a divorce and wants zero custody. Kids know that parents can have joint custody-a dad who wants none is a slap in the face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

I suppose. But if she had lied for example about her kids having a room in his new apartment when the essay said he refused to have rooms for them, he could have refuted that. It’s cold to get a new home and not even allow your 3 kids overnights, let alone have any space for them.

I don’t think she lied about custody. I think, for him, the relationship with the kids is good because he sees them occasionally (they’re old enough not to see him at all if they want) and it’s pleasant. He probably doesn’t spend any less time with them than when he lived at home. For him not much changed, and maybe not for them either. Why would they sleep in his small apartment when their mom lives in a large place in the same neighborhood? It’s not like he’s going to be hanging around making them pancakes in the morning. We don’t know how the kids feel about this, but it doesn’t sound like they are estranged. He could have moved to an inconvenient location but chose a place close by. I’m not saying he’s a great guy, far from it, but I think her account needs parsing.

lol nobody needs to parse it. He was an absent father when they were married and is even more absent now. I’m sure he does believe that taking them to dinner once a week is being “very involved” though.

He never claimed to be very involved, just stated their relationship remains caring and supportive. Which it might be, we don’t know. If they had nothing but low expectations for him before, nothing has really changed.

It was weird that he said that they were supportive of him. That’s a weird thing for a parent to say.

Just his way of saying they don’t hate him and aren’t estranged, I think. Mutually loving and supportive, ie didn’t cut him off after the divorce. Also claims her version of events doesn’t line up with his. Again, who knows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

Nothing says father of the year like a man buying a home where his kids are not welcome.

My kids dad did this - cheated, I kicked him out, he moved into a 1 br, later got married and bought a $750,000 2 br (1 br and office). I offered him 50/50, which he never took. In over a decade the kids have slept on a pull-out sofa and blow up mattress when they visit him.

The impact on your own kids of a neglectful dad is truly painful to watch, and no amount of mother love or other male relatives or role models seem to fill it. My kids are in college now and neither are close to him.

This. We are far earlier in the process but I see my kids bouncing from one male role model to the other with their eyes like sad little cartoon characters looking for someone to validate their existence in a way that only a father can but theirs would not. So much therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

I suppose. But if she had lied for example about her kids having a room in his new apartment when the essay said he refused to have rooms for them, he could have refuted that. It’s cold to get a new home and not even allow your 3 kids overnights, let alone have any space for them.

I don’t think she lied about custody. I think, for him, the relationship with the kids is good because he sees them occasionally (they’re old enough not to see him at all if they want) and it’s pleasant. He probably doesn’t spend any less time with them than when he lived at home. For him not much changed, and maybe not for them either. Why would they sleep in his small apartment when their mom lives in a large place in the same neighborhood? It’s not like he’s going to be hanging around making them pancakes in the morning. We don’t know how the kids feel about this, but it doesn’t sound like they are estranged. He could have moved to an inconvenient location but chose a place close by. I’m not saying he’s a great guy, far from it, but I think her account needs parsing.

lol nobody needs to parse it. He was an absent father when they were married and is even more absent now. I’m sure he does believe that taking them to dinner once a week is being “very involved” though.

He never claimed to be very involved, just stated their relationship remains caring and supportive. Which it might be, we don’t know. If they had nothing but low expectations for him before, nothing has really changed.

It was weird that he said that they were supportive of him. That’s a weird thing for a parent to say.

Weird thing is that he seems to believe it. Her kids haven’t spoken out against her book.

They haven’t spoken out to support it either. If they do, I’ll be interested to hear what they have to say. I think they’re all adults now? But it’s not uncommon for kids of antagonistic divorced parents to want to stay out of it, partly to retain a relationship with both parents and just to preserve their peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's on the modern love podcast today.

No gift links left: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/14/podcasts/belle-burden-husband-strangers.html?smid=url-share

online, there's a little blurb that says:

When reached for comment about Ms. Burden’s recollections relating to their divorce and custody of their children, Ms. Burden’s ex-husband provided the following response:

“While I disagree with many of her recollections, as well as her overall mischaracterization of my relationship with my children, I do not wish to comment in more detail in order to protect them from further violations of their privacy other than to say that I continue to lovingly support, and be lovingly supported by, my children.”

Yeah. That's a lie. Perhaps one he believes himself.

You don't know that. None of us do.

I suppose. But if she had lied for example about her kids having a room in his new apartment when the essay said he refused to have rooms for them, he could have refuted that. It’s cold to get a new home and not even allow your 3 kids overnights, let alone have any space for them.

I don’t think she lied about custody. I think, for him, the relationship with the kids is good because he sees them occasionally (they’re old enough not to see him at all if they want) and it’s pleasant. He probably doesn’t spend any less time with them than when he lived at home. For him not much changed, and maybe not for them either. Why would they sleep in his small apartment when their mom lives in a large place in the same neighborhood? It’s not like he’s going to be hanging around making them pancakes in the morning. We don’t know how the kids feel about this, but it doesn’t sound like they are estranged. He could have moved to an inconvenient location but chose a place close by. I’m not saying he’s a great guy, far from it, but I think her account needs parsing.

lol nobody needs to parse it. He was an absent father when they were married and is even more absent now. I’m sure he does believe that taking them to dinner once a week is being “very involved” though.

He never claimed to be very involved, just stated their relationship remains caring and supportive. Which it might be, we don’t know. If they had nothing but low expectations for him before, nothing has really changed.

It was weird that he said that they were supportive of him. That’s a weird thing for a parent to say.

Sounds like a normal thing for a narcissist to say. He just wants to keep up appearances and clearly doesn’t care much about his kids if he only sees them on occasion.