Gifts from estranged parents?

[Anonymous]

In my situation, when I give the gift to the kids, the kid rips it up or destroys it. They ask me why I gave it to them, knowing who it is from. It makes the holiday dark. So I understand hesitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my situation, when I give the gift to the kids, the kid rips it up or destroys it. They ask me why I gave it to them, knowing who it is from. It makes the holiday dark. So I understand hesitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

You're responding to a troll. Ignore, or just tell them you recognize their trolling.

I'm not going to ignore them, I'm calling them out, as are you. And that was my way of doing just what you said: recognizing their trolling.

You understand what trolling is, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

You're responding to a troll. Ignore, or just tell them you recognize their trolling.

I'm not going to ignore them, I'm calling them out, as are you. And that was my way of doing just what you said: recognizing their trolling.

If there is a troll, consider there are several of us because I written similar responses and I see others here. Just because it's not the answer you want, that doesn't mean any of us are trolls. You have given zero info as to why you are estranged from your parents, so don't expect everyone to support you. You may be wrong. And the issue with your kids is definitely wrong so it's all a little sus.

I haven't been on this discussion since I wrote the post you're replying to - you made a ridiculous assumption that I was OP and you were wrong. I'm just now reading what I missed so I don't know if OP corrected this too, but no, not OP. And of course there are a few trolls, but you're wrong again assuming I say this because I don't like what you post. It's how you post it, and the fact that it contributes nothing and is constantly shaming and meangirl-framed. And it is trolling when it contributes nothing to the discussion but acrimony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were you sexually abused? Did they beat the $#!+ out of you? Were they alcoholics? Were you kidnapped away from one parent?

If no, grow the eff up and give the gifts to your kids, and explain why you don't see your parents. They will need to know that because you will be the estranged parent in about 20 years.

Jesus. Grow up. It's not all about you.

What a horrible post. You need therapy.

+1

My childhood was good enough. It’s how I’m treated now that’s the issue, as it is for most estranged children.

OP no idea if you're finding any of these responses helpful or not, but the main reason replies are all over the place is that you haven't explained why you're estranged or what your kids' relationships to your parents are like now. And age of your kids matters too. So a lot of people are assuming a lot about your question and maybe that's all you wanted, was to watch us spin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

Um, you recognize my writing? I don't believe I've ever posted about estrangement. So, you're wrong and presumptuous. It's so very clear what I said struck a chord and maybe caused you some cognitive dissonance. Maybe deal with that instead of reflexively attacking. I'm sure you are desperate to cling to this victim narrative/fantasy you have in your head, but this is not a "safe space" to wallow in your delusions. A lot of us will push back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

You're responding to a troll. Ignore, or just tell them you recognize their trolling.

I'm not going to ignore them, I'm calling them out, as are you. And that was my way of doing just what you said: recognizing their trolling.

If there is a troll, consider there are several of us because I written similar responses and I see others here. Just because it's not the answer you want, that doesn't mean any of us are trolls. You have given zero info as to why you are estranged from your parents, so don't expect everyone to support you. You may be wrong. And the issue with your kids is definitely wrong so it's all a little sus.

It's pretty clear this person who doesn't like to be challenged about their behavior in cutting off loved ones lacks the ability to self-reflect and consider their own contributions to screwed up dynamics. I have no doubt her "decision" has been influenced by social media and shitty therapists through the years who told her all her feelings were valid and anyone who challenges them is toxic and evil. Nevermind the fact that not all feelings are valid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were you sexually abused? Did they beat the $#!+ out of you? Were they alcoholics? Were you kidnapped away from one parent?

If no, grow the eff up and give the gifts to your kids, and explain why you don't see your parents. They will need to know that because you will be the estranged parent in about 20 years.

Jesus. Grow up. It's not all about you.

What a horrible post. You need therapy.

+1

My childhood was good enough. It’s how I’m treated now that’s the issue, as it is for most estranged children.

As an adult, why are you so concerned about what's going on now - as if it's something you cannot handle as an adult to other adults. You say your childhood was fine. Are you just nitpicking at little things (?) because frankly, it sounds like a maturity issue that you cannot handle things as an adult. And we see this as a giant trend now, with everyone immediately coming to your support without even knowing the details. You will need tobsupply a lot more info before anyone can make a comment. Secondly, you really have not considered your own kids. Apparently you've decided that your kids will miss out on having grandparents and unless they are abusive (see above) you are just using your kids as leverage, which highlights the whole maturity thing. Everyone loses. What are you gaining from this?

Wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were you sexually abused? Did they beat the $#!+ out of you? Were they alcoholics? Were you kidnapped away from one parent?

If no, grow the eff up and give the gifts to your kids, and explain why you don't see your parents. They will need to know that because you will be the estranged parent in about 20 years.

Jesus. Grow up. It's not all about you.

You are so confident, yet so wrong. It’s almost impressive.

Almost.

Without details, and looking at your answers, I stand by my statement. Grow the eff up.

That last sentence coming from you is rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

Why are you spewing this Boomer-esque nonsense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

Um, you recognize my writing? I don't believe I've ever posted about estrangement. So, you're wrong and presumptuous. It's so very clear what I said struck a chord and maybe caused you some cognitive dissonance. Maybe deal with that instead of reflexively attacking. I'm sure you are desperate to cling to this victim narrative/fantasy you have in your head, but this is not a "safe space" to wallow in your delusions. A lot of us will push back.

Oh sweetie. You tried, but no.

[Anonymous]

Money I would put in an account for them. Gifts I would donate or sell for a low price. Any money made I would put in an account for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

Um, you recognize my writing? I don't believe I've ever posted about estrangement. So, you're wrong and presumptuous. It's so very clear what I said struck a chord and maybe caused you some cognitive dissonance. Maybe deal with that instead of reflexively attacking. I'm sure you are desperate to cling to this victim narrative/fantasy you have in your head, but this is not a "safe space" to wallow in your delusions. A lot of us will push back.

Your 100th mistake was assuming your writing is only recognizable from posts about estrangement. Your writing is recognizable far beyond the particular topic. Just find a life outside of DCUM and maybe you will actually contribute to conversations. But for now, you are 100% troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

Um, you recognize my writing? I don't believe I've ever posted about estrangement. So, you're wrong and presumptuous. It's so very clear what I said struck a chord and maybe caused you some cognitive dissonance. Maybe deal with that instead of reflexively attacking. I'm sure you are desperate to cling to this victim narrative/fantasy you have in your head, but this is not a "safe space" to wallow in your delusions. A lot of us will push back.

Oh sweetie. You tried, but no.

My sweet summer child. It should have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle the boxes of gifts or cards full of money that your kids receive from their grandparents/your estranged parents? I received an expected delivery email and I suspect it’s from my parents for my kids. At the beginning of the estrangement, when we were still low contact and I thought maybe we could work it out, they sent gifts at the kids’ birthdays, but I’ll admit it felt a little gross to give them to the kids.

You’re a lot, aren’t you?

Let me guess. You went no contact over your parents’ “toxicity” and spend a lot of time in communities getting praise and encouragement for doing this? And you have been in therapy for years … that your parents paid for when they were trying to get you help? When they were sacrificing for you?

I recognize this PP's writing. In so many discussions here. PP are you doing a dissertation on social dynamics on a parenting board? Or how people react to hostile presumptuous snarky shaming replies? Because unless you're doing a dissertation on these things, you just getting on discussions to shame people and speak with ignorant entitled authority is getting so old and tired. And you really are recognizable more than you realize.

Um, you recognize my writing? I don't believe I've ever posted about estrangement. So, you're wrong and presumptuous. It's so very clear what I said struck a chord and maybe caused you some cognitive dissonance. Maybe deal with that instead of reflexively attacking. I'm sure you are desperate to cling to this victim narrative/fantasy you have in your head, but this is not a "safe space" to wallow in your delusions. A lot of us will push back.

Your 100th mistake was assuming your writing is only recognizable from posts about estrangement. Your writing is recognizable far beyond the particular topic. Just find a life outside of DCUM and maybe you will actually contribute to conversations. But for now, you are 100% troll.

Please humor me and provide other examples. I’m dying here.

BTW, you must be the one spending too much time here if you think you recognize writing.